gusguyman

From Fegan's (characteristically excellent) article on the game last night, Keuchel on Kopech (emphasis mine): “Mike’s going to be a stopper for a reason,” said Keuchel. “Whenever we decide to move him back into the rotation, in a year or two, he’s going to be one of the best starters in the game as well.” Who knows if Keuchel actually knows anything (and its interesting how often he seems to speak/speculate on front office decisions), but Dallas seems to think Kopech is in the bullpen for the whole year, and maybe two.

You couldn't find a single picture of Yermin in a Sox hat?

So, the good news is that you scored 2 off of Hendriks...

Gus's Manifesto: 1) Bunting is stupid and should be a capital crime except for the times that I post that they should bunt 2) Players should steal more bases but also not get caught (unless they are stealing against our catcher, than they should be caught every time) 3) Be good to each other (unless the other is a Twins fan. Or an Indians fan. Or a Tigers or Royals fan too. Oh, or a Cubs fan. The Rays knocked us out that one time, they can get fucked too. Oh, Yankees and Red Sox fans of course, and obviously Asterisks fans. Oh dear.

MODS CAN'T LOCK A GAMETHREAD POSTING MY MANIFESTO NEXT

You should ask those scorned grade school kids if "illicit" and "elicit" were on their last vocab tests.

I'M NOT NEGATIVE YOU'RE NEGATIVE HOW CAN YOU BE SO NEGATIVE IN GAME ONE YOU NEGATIVE LOSERS!!!!!

Hell, I'm on the West Coast and even I hate West Coast games. Much prefer having motivation to dip work early.

Jose single LuBob double and steals third Cy fucking Gio I LOVE OPENING DAY

Vaughn to LF rumor to get leverage in trade talks. Open to trade talks to get leverage in Vaughn contract talks haha. (But really, if they were 'close' but not final on a Vaughn extension, this sure gives him a TON more negotiating power)

Puig's agent was saying Puig was available? Shocker. The team already rejected him so I am not sure why he keeps getting brought back up other than the Cuban memes.

Thank you for this freezing cold take, my drink had gotten warm and this saved me a trip to the kitchen for ice.

Do a flip

This is the first time all year I've wished a spring training game was actually 7 innings. ....did I say 7? I meant 9. I definitely said I was happy it was 9.

As both an Alabama Alum and a White Sox fan, this is an excellent night for feeling excitement for, and taking enjoyment from, accomplishments I contributed nothing to. Roll Tide / Go Sox, sometimes being a fan is really great.

"How DARE you read what I wrote!"

The "Hall of Fame Baseball Person" strategy is becoming more popular. Another innovation to credit to TLR.

I think I am in the minority here, but I don't want to see a Lynn extension unless the the third year is an option. A huge benefit of Lynn is he is cheap, but a huge risk is that he is entering his age-34 season and has a relatively short track record of success. Only having one year of cheap obligation to Lynn mitigates that risk (financially, obviously its still a major competitive risk). I get that it stings to trade 6 years of control for 1, but I'd rather get 1 good year out of Lynn for cheap than 1 good, 1 mediocre, and 1 trash, and for more money too. Hard pass on owing 36 year old Lynn 10-15 million. That said, I hope this opinion ends up aging like the Abreu extension takes.

I was on a cruise a few years back and a college-aged kid near the pool made the really poor life decision to try and shotgun one of those giant 25oz cans of Fosters. He made a big deal about it, got the crowd pumped, tons of people cheering or jeering him. I'll give him a bit of credit - he gave it a real shot. Probably made it about 2/3 of the way through, though perhaps that was just momentum carrying him over the edge of the cliff a la Wile E. Coyote. Regardless, suddenly he throws down the can and sprints across half the deck for the bathroom. If you have ever been on a cruise, you will know that doors (especially external doors) are often actually bulkheads - they have a 3-6 inch metal lip around the entire thing. Well, he apparently forgot or didn't notice this (he did have some pressing concerns that may have been distracting him), because he slams his foot on the bulkhead as he is sprinting into the bathroom. He does a gorgeous faceplant at full speed into the tile, then proceeds to vomit up about 17 oz of mostly undigested fosters (as well as who knows how many oz of other drinks) all over himself and the bathroom. He lost his lunch, his dignity, and, most importantly, his open bar wristband. The rest of the trip, he would get bronx cheers anytime he emerged on to the pool deck. This isn't really relevant to anything tbh, but I will never be able to see a giant Foster's can without remembering this modern day Icarus.

Expecting something and accepting something are two different things.

Eaton is a locker room cancer, but you can survive that when you have strong, mature leadership from the manager ahhhhh fuck

Underrated aspect of this trade is that it makes our bullpen better too by taking innings away from the worst guys. Hell, our bullpen practically died of fatigue after just 60 games last year. Taking away Dunning and adding Lynn's 200 innings is a MASSIVE boon for our relief corp. Suddenly, if Gio or Dallas has a short outing you don't have to wait a whole trip through the rotation just to get back to a guy who can reliably get you 6 innings again.

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If you think Lynn is a total pumpkin or Dunning is a future 2 somehow, I understand hating this trade. But Lynn looks like a workhorse 2+, and even one year of that is worth Dunning. TBH, if 4 years from now we are saying we lost the Series because of a hole Dunning left, drafting and development will be the much bigger problem than this trade. Dunning is a fun guy to root for, but his skillset is fairly replaceable. That said, I would have liked this trade a lot better if we were getting 1.5 years of Lynn 6 months ago.

If women are falling unconscious due to your stench you should get out of the basement and into the shower pronto