Y2HH

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:50 AM) some people are legitimately asexual but that's pretty rare I think that is caused by a biochemical error (a gene flaw). I don't think it's something they choose.

QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:44 AM) To be fair, you can say lack of self-control leads to all self-inflicting problems in life. Why did he die of lung cancer? Lack of self-control. Why did he cheat on his wife? Lack of control. Why did the guy murder his family? Lack of self-control. You're not wrong, but there are underlying reasons for the lack of self-control. Lack of self-control itself is very vague and can be triggered for any number of reasons. Sometimes it's a lack of communication, sometimes it's boredom, sometimes it's because a guy is too horny to control himself. You're both right...again. (I feel like most arguments end this way) Hey, don't get into the middle of this. Arguing with Reddy is like arguing with Y2HH. We are quite similar in this regard. And it's a challenge and fun. Also, to touch on your points...some of what you said I agree with, but not all. There are people that can do everything right -- by choice -- and still die of lung cancer. That has nothing to do with self control.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:41 AM) what you SAID though, was that if two people are right for each other (compatible) that it should be EASY. It isn't always easy. No matter what. If your life has been easy, and you're happy, then more power to you. You're the exception - not the rule. There is a degree of compatibility...the point remains there are incompatibilities that can be overcome, and some that cannot be. I never said they'd all be easy.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:38 AM) so you think that wanting to cheat is something you're born with and not a choice? you're also pro-gay rights correct? i just want to make sure you're consistent. No, I already went over this. People aren't born "wanting to cheat"...people are born, however, "programmed to want sex with people they are attracted too". It's not like people are born looking to get into a relationship just so they can cheat. Heh. They're born wanting sex whether they're in a relationship or not. Yes, I'm pro-gay rights because it's a compete non-issue to me...it shouldn't even be something people discuss...sexual preference should have nothing to do with a persons "rights". People make it an issue, which is the only reason it's an issue. It's akin to a child believing that they're safe from monsters because their blankets are like force fields. They create the issue (monsters) and the solutions (force field blankets) when the issue doesn't actually exist to begin with.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:33 AM) I refer you back to my post on the last page about my parents. please explain how that should have been an easy situation. It again comes to compatibilities...your parents found themselves in a moderate incompatibility. As I highlighted above, certain incompatibilities can be overcome...such as this one for example. Others cannot be. There is a scale/degree of incompatibility, something a lot of people want to ignore. For me, specifically, this would have been a complete non issue...my career isn't very important to me.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:26 AM) sir, i'm not sure you understand what communicating actually entails. openly talking about your fears, the things that bother you, and your weaknesses is actually one of the hardest things in the world to do - especially when you're worried about how the person you love is going to react. the fact that my recent ex DIDN'T communicate well with me months ago is the reason we're going through all this now. (that said, we're currently communicating better than ever and things are actually looking pretty good for us down the road). you say I live in Dr. Phil land, you live in mystical "the one" land where you will someday find that ONE person who is PERFECTLY compatible with you and you'll never fight and you'll live all Leave it to Beaver happily ever after. please. Also, stop putting words in my mouth -- highlighted text. I never said this. You just did/made it up. Nobody is 100% compatible...but there are incompatibilities and then there are INCOMPATIBILITIES. Me not eating meat while my wife does (hypothetical) is an incompatibility. Me wanting to be monogamous and my wife loving to sleep around/have an open sexual relationship outside of our marriage is an INCOMPATIBILITY. There are incompatibilities you can overcome, because they're minor...and ones you will never overcome...

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:26 AM) sir, i'm not sure you understand what communicating actually entails. openly talking about your fears, the things that bother you, and your weaknesses is actually one of the hardest things in the world to do - especially when you're worried about how the person you love is going to react. the fact that my recent ex DIDN'T communicate well with me months ago is the reason we're going through all this now. (that said, we're currently communicating better than ever and things are actually looking pretty good for us down the road). you say I live in Dr. Phil land, you live in mystical "the one" land where you will someday find that ONE person who is PERFECTLY compatible with you and you'll never fight and you'll live all Leave it to Beaver happily ever after. please. Actually I do understand them...because I've been in a successful relationship that turned into a marriage (now with children). And it's not hard. It's easy...and it's awesome...and it's fun.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:25 AM) Doesn't that assume a desire to cheat in everyone, though? That doesn't seem right. Two different but related things going on here... 1) People don't have an inherent desire to "cheat"/hurt their partner by doing so. 2) People DO have the natural instinctive desire to want sex with people they're attracted too, it's hard wired into our survivalist DNA. Acting on that instinct/desire, however, is where the self control/human part of it comes in. That's where the promises/vows come in...promises you agree to honor upon entering a relationship/marriage. Unfortunately, our basic instincts exist within us...we can deny them, but they're there.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:22 AM) this. festering and rotting are what lead to cheating more often than not. Again, lack of self control are what lead to cheating...always. Festering and rotting is simply the excuse they'll use when caught.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 11:07 AM) depends on how you qualify "successful". I'd say all my relationships have been successful to a point, because I've learned a hell of a lot from each of them. Moreover I'm not a typical hit it and quit it guy. I've only been in two serious relationships in my adult years, both lasting a couple years. I'm a serial monogamist, so while no, I have not been married, I DO understand - at least a little bit - about what it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship. Am I still learning? Hell yes. Is everyone constantly learning, even someone who's been in a 25 year marriage, another hell yes. I understand that it's not all rainbows and unicorns. I understand how much WORK a good partnership takes. And I also understand that unless you're completely honest with that partner, that already rough road gets even rockier. where am i off base? You're off base in that you think open communication and honesty is 99% of making a marriage or relationship work. It's not. That's a simplistic Dr. Phil way of looking at relationships. It's a talking point that people love to hear because if it were true, it would be a simple solution to all of their problems AND it would make every single person on the planet compatible: "All of your problems will be solved by open communication!" Wrong. You're problems only exist because you're incompatible as people, and communicating those incompatibilities doesn't fix them. Finding a person that's actually compatible with you is the hard part...the part nobody talks about. Most people try to jam their incompatible selves into a relationship because a few superficial things happen to mesh for them...namely attractiveness, and then think they can overcome those incompatibles just by talking about them, or worse, thinking that they'll change the person. Where you ARE right, however is that open/honest communication CAN prevent you from entering into a relationship with an incompatible mate. But that requires the communication to be open and honest BEFORE the relationship begins...and therein lies the rub. Most couples in the early phase of meeting each other are in an excited state and tend to only talk about "good" things...things people like to hear...or things they ARE compatible with. It's not until later they figure out what their true incompatibilities are.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 10:58 AM) haha you're ridiculous right now. Right, coming from the young kid in this 20's that has zero experience with a family or a marriage. Hell, you've never even had a successful relationship yet based on your recent comments and you're going to preach to everyone about marriage and openness and honesty? Give it up, you're out of your jurisdiction now. You sound like a true pro that just took a few college courses in the social arts and now you're going to tell everyone what's what by regurgitating a few simplistic talking points you probably heard from an episode of Dr. f*** Phil. The biggest lie people love to repeat is that marriage/relationships is/are hard. No they aren't. They're easy if you're with the right person. EASY. If you have to "try" to be in a relationship or marriage, you shouldn't be in it.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 10:57 AM) lol nobody is ready for marriage when they get married. nobody knows what it is ahead of time. everyone figures it out AS they're going through it. and the best way to work your way through something like that? Have an open and honest line of communication at all times. end of story. More bulls*** from a person with zero experience. I WAS ready for a marriage when I got married...hence why I got married. Sorry to bust your bubble on that, though. Again, this open and honest line of communication bulls*** is just another talking point. If you aren't ready to be open and honest, you aren't ready to be married in the first place. Also, 100% openness and honesty is a f***ing pipe dream...get over it now. Before and after marriage, there are things you'll think to yourself that your wife never needs to know...and it has nothing to do with being open an honest.

It comes from people wanting what they can't have. You can communicate all day long to a person...if they want to have sex with other women, they're going to have sex with other women, because they don't care about the consequences, nor do they think they'll get caught. Keep leaning on the communication bulls***, though. It's just an excuse people love to use.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 10:52 AM) um... i guarantee you 99% of people who are unhappy in relationships are unhappy because they don't communicate well with their significant other. if they were OPEN about their feelings, and then at that point the other person shut them down, didn't care enough to fix the issues, then we're dealing with another problem and you should re-evaluate whether or not you should be in the relationship. i'm baffled that you don't think unhappiness stems from lack of communication about wants and needs. where else does it come from then? You guarantee me nothing. It's a bunch of bulls***, and just another excuse for people that entered into a marriage that were't ready for a marriage. Lack of communication is just another in a LONNNNG line of excuses you'll hear at divorce proceedings.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 5, 2012 -> 10:33 AM) lol you don't think that men who are unhappy in their marriages are more likely to cheat? come on, you're not that thick. Again, I repeat -- it has nothing to do with communication or playing games, what you just posed above are two entirely different things. A person that's unhappy with their marriage is exactly that, unhappy with their marriage. That's not always for lack of communication (this is usually quite minor when it comes to unhappy marriages), and it has nothing to do with playing games. Divorce is met with a number of excuses, from boredom, to lack of communication...when the obvious reality is much simpler. It's an easy way out for people that put themselves into a situation they weren't ready for, nor did they even understand what it truly was. Marriage is something a lot of people do because it's, well...a thing to do. Actual marriage is an entirely different animal.

QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 07:53 PM) The thing ignored here is...if you want to generate significant revenue from a consumption tax, it needs to go down to levels like "$1000 in Jewelry, $20k cars". If you go to $40k cars, suddenly only a very small portion of the country is paying that tax, and it starts failing as a reasonable revenue generation system unless the tax rate rapidly shoots up to 75%, at which point no one buys the car. That's fine for a small added consumption tax at the federal level, which would only be 1-2%. Luxury taxes, however, which is what we are discussing, are astronomically higher than 1-2%.

QUOTE (Soxbadger @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 07:18 PM) If anyone has a galaxy 3 from AT&T jellybean update is finally available. You mean the old 4.1 Jellybean. This is the problem with Android, and they need to get this fixed somehow. It's great Samsung/AT&T are finally rolling out 4.1...but 4.2 has already been out for a few months. This is why I know if/when I move to Android I will be forced to hack it. I'm pretty bad when it comes to software releases...if I know a newer version of something exists, I want it. Now.

QUOTE (Reddy @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 11:53 PM) lol not necessarily true at all. it can be a breakdown of communication over time and something that just happens. not all cheating is pre-meditated. It doesn't make it more ok - it's not - but i'm just saying that if you pare it all down to the most BASIC LEVEL - all problems in relationships come from not communicating and not being honest. Cheating has nothing to do with communication or or playing games. It has to do with people having a complete lack of self control over the basic instincts built into their DNA. At it's core, it's what we are, and while we can deny that, it's reality. Just because you get married doesn't mean a switch flips and suddenly other women are no longer sexually attractive. Any married man that claims this is a stone cold liar, and any single guy that thinks this is in for a rude awakening. I'm a happily married man...one thats never cheated despite having multiple chances to do so. Now, did I want too? Yes. The blood flowing in my veins didn't suddenly turned cold and blue after I pronounced 'I do'. Other women still turn me on, possibly more so than any single guy could imagine. But when I look at my life, my family, and everything surrounding it, I know I'd NEVER act on those animalistic feelings/instincts because I exercise human thought/intelligence and self control and weigh it against the sure alternative...losing my family and the way things are out of a choice is something would NEVER do for ANY reason whatsoever. It's about being an evolved civilized person that doesn't cave to basic instincts that drive us at our core. It's about being human and exercising that one thing we have that animals cant come close to touching. Intelligence.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 02:06 PM) I'll bet she'd do a damn sight better job of it than a majority of the Senators, but my politics are not oriented to maximize my own personal interest. Are you familiar with her prior work at all? I have mini York Peppermint Patties.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 02:00 PM) There was substantial opposition to the creation of the CFPB, which she basically created, and to her appointment as head of it. That was circa 2010, this was about her being appointed to the Senate Banking Committee. I see no reason to believe in shadow conspiracy theories in the face of the loud, frequent and expensive efforts to block her and the CFPB at every turn. She didn't make her $14M by taking advantage of the banking system but in academia and the legal world fighting against banks, including fighting against the disastrous 2005 bankruptcy reform bill. Sad news, friend...shes not one of us, and shes not really looking out for you/us, either. Hang onto that dream, though...

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 02:00 PM) There was substantial opposition to the creation of the CFPB, which she basically created, and to her appointment as head of it. That was circa 2010, this was about her being appointed to the Senate Banking Committee. I see no reason to believe in shadow conspiracy theories in the face of the loud, frequent and expensive efforts to block her and the CFPB at every turn. She didn't make her $14M by taking advantage of the banking system but in academia and the legal world fighting against banks, including fighting against the disastrous 2005 bankruptcy reform bill. As I said in the finer things thread...yea, well...I have mini York Peppermint Patties.

I have mini York Peppermint Patties.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 01:47 PM) Being from the 1% doesn't mean you can't seriously believe that the system is rigged and needs reforming. It's not uncommon for someone privileged in the current system to champion populist reforms. Yeah, she's wealthy, but she's not part of the banking industry. If her populism is 'feigned,' why such the effort to block the CFPB and her appointment to head it? I don't think they are...I think it's part of the narrative they want people to believe. I'm sure some are blocking it, just like they'd try to block anyone else. There will always be people that try to stand in the way of someone in cases like these...always. This is no exception, and it's nothing special like they're trying to make it sound. And...last but not least...of course it doesn't mean you can't seriously believe the system is rigged end needs reforming...EVERY last member of the 1% says some variation of this exact same thing all while benefiting from that very system.

QUOTE (farmteam @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 01:37 PM) Sadly, I have to agree with this. Last year, the apartment I lived in required me to have Comcast. I just hate dealing with Comcast, so I was happy when my apartment this year uses DirecTV and CenturyLink. I'm really happy with DirecTV, but OH MY is CenturyLink terrible. Just so, so slow compared to what I was getting with Comcast. What I really want is for Google to roll out their fiber network up here, so I can get speeds literally 1,000x faster than I do now. Too bad that won't happen for a decade. It probably won't ever happen.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Dec 4, 2012 -> 12:30 PM) Warren to Senate Banking Committee! http://thehill.com/blogs/on-the-money/bank...-senate-banking I find her oddball feigned anti-banking system is rigged bulls*** to be a bit funny, considering she has a net worth of over 14 million dollars, was making 500k a year in salary alone a year ago and has over 8M in stock/bond investments, planting her firmly into the 1% spectrum. The way she talks like she's one of us poor saps that the system is "rigged" against, is hilarious to me, when she is, in fact, one of them.