Dan Pasqua's FedEx Driver

CLASSICS - "I Eat Cannibals" - Total Coleo "Head Over Heels" - Go-Go's "Head Over Heels" - Tears for Fears "Mexican Radio" - Wall of Voodoo "Peek-A-Boo!" - Devo "The Look of Love" - ABC "Close to the Edit" - Art of Noise THE WORST - Anything by Wang Chung Anything by Madonna Anything by Prince or Princely by-products (Sheila E, et al) Anything by Twisted Sister, especially "Leader of the Pack", starring Bobcat Golthwaite Anything by the Beastie Boys Any of that other talking s*** AND THE GREATEST SONG EVER. I MEAN EVER, IN ANY DECADE, IN ANY CENTURY, AND IT CAME FROM THE 80's - "The Whole of the Moon" - the Waterboys AND THE ULTIMATE FANTASY FROM THE 80's - THE ULTIMATE WOMAN... (Drumroll)

Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!! Yo-Ho!!! Still in the bag with the "Legend of the Potato Chip" on the back! My second favourite chip I can't find anymore, because I could only find them in McHenry, and I don't talk to the loser idiot psychopathic schizophrenic b**** that lives there anymore... They were called "Mrs. Fields", they were so greasy they were actually almost wet, and I loved them. And the bag was scary, because there was a drawing of an evil, pedophile potato dancing in a circle with two young German children, and the potato is leering at them. Which reminds me, Rammstein actually has a new album coming out in a couple months.

Harold Reynolds is a worthless pile of s***. He and the other maggot-ass Ravitch lost all credibility when they both said they actually believed Sosa grabbed the corked bat totally by accident. If they really believed him, then they know nothing about baseball and they have no credibility as baseball reporters. If Disney ordered them to lie and say they believed Sosa, then they are journalistic whores. Either way, I haven't watched BBT since that night, and I won't watch it again until those two boneheads have been replaced.

KENNY - Tampa Bay is fading - GET CARL CRAWFORD!!!

...And just when you thought Cub people couldn't do anything to embarass themselves any more, when you thought they couldn't possibly do anything to make themselves even more hated throughout the country... Cub people have now stooped to going to the Cardinal board, asking Cardinal fans how Daryl Kile is, and mocking Albert Pujols' daughter, who, if you didn't know, has Down Syndrome.

I pulled this off the Cub bored a little while ago...I don't usually bother, but this is so freakin hysterical I couldn't resist...I figured it'll give y'all a chuckle... =================================================== From: kyle casillas Jul-19 11:52 pm To: 9wswins (5 of 9) 102337.5 in reply to 102337.1 hey get the f*ck out of here you POS. cubs fans have more sportsmanship than to go over to your board and gloat. i can't wait until the cubs take the division, and scott rolen breaks his leg, and we shove it back in your face, i may be flying off the handle here, and everyone may think of me what they want. but i know cards barely won tonight, and they havent really crushed us in most of the games they have won. if not for stupid mistakes, we'd have a division lead. but when we comeback to take the central, i hope to see you win the wildcard, so the cubs can kick your @$# in the playoffs. you're one of the luckiest ballclubs around, cards wont get one more win against us this year(that includes when we whoop you in the playoffs). ================================================== Will they never learn?

Cub people once again proving why they are the most classless, idiotic, hated, reviled, ridiculed, humiliating and embarassing fan base in sport. I hope things really get out of hand tomorrow so they can continue the great Cub tradition of littering their "shrine".

I subscribed to the Daily Southtown the day after Jon Garland threw a 1-hitter at Fenway and Mark Prior got his first career win against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Guess what was splattered all over the back page of the Sun-Times? I'm boycotting the Sun-Times until the Sox get equal coverage and Mariotti is gone. I'm still waiting and they're still losing money. Regarding the Southtown - if you live north of I-55, you will have trouble finding it, and the farther North you go, the harder it gets. The Southtown gives fair and equal coverage to both the Sox and Cubs. I don't mind the Cubs getting the bulk of the headlines if it's warranted. What I do mind is: "SAMMY STRIKES OUT IN DOMINICAN CHARITY GAME - SPECIAL 32-PAGE SOUVENEIR PULL-OUT SECTION" "White Sox Win World Series - See pg. 78 between horoscope and 'Drabble'"

They know the game, they have their finger on the pulse of what's going on. I can live without the Vin Scully impressions. I would like to know the score now and then. Cub fans are insanely jealous of both of our announcing teams, and that makes me dig them even more.

"Harold Baines Pinch-Hits for Ben Davis, Hits Game-Winning Home Run" "After Game, Sox Obtain Carl Crawford from Fading Devil Rays"

1. Get off the goddammm cell phone if it's going to suck your brains out of your ears while you're on it!! 2. Why did you make such an effort to blast around me and cut me off if all you're gonna do is slow down once you do it? 3. When the left turn arrow goes off...it means you can't turn left anymore. The fact that you were in the act of acceleration does not legally entitle you to turn left ten seconds after the arrow is no longer there. One of these days, I shall hit you, as will be my legal right, as I have the right-of-way and you blew a red light. 4. If you create a lane out of a non-existent lane to try to blast in front of everybody, and think we're all going to let you in front of us, don't give us s*** when we don't; give yourself s***. 5. You're the one who decided to cruise along in a lane where people will probably be turning left. Stop thinking it's your God given right to charge into the lane next to you when cars are flying by. You got yourself into that lane...wait till EVERYONE has gone by next to you, then get yourself out of it. Thank you.

I've refused to listen to Oasis ever since they said they're better than the Beatles. If they're so much better, why do they have to copy every thing the Beatles do? There's a version of "Ob La Di, Ob La Da" on the "Anthology" that has an almost calypso feel; it's a lot faster and has a totally different rhythym. Listening to "Revolution #9" when CD's were first invented was mind-blowing. Chilling, almost. And, of course, the "White Album" was the first CD I bought. That was when CD cases were these long cardboard sleeves that were twice as long as the actual CD. You can't play anything backwards on CD. SO...here's another one...take your "White Album" ALBUM, play "I'm So Tired". You know John's mumbling between "I'm So Tired" and "Blackbird"? Play that backwards.

"Revolution #9" is not on my list for one reason... If you have a turntable and the "White Album" ALBUM, put "Revolution #9" on. Stop the turntable and play it backwards when they repeat "Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9..." and tell me that isn't one of the coolest things you've ever heard. "Run For Your Life" - written in 30 seconds by John Lennon because the "Rubber Soul" album was one song short. He was ashamed of that song; he always despised it...he came right out and said they were the most "un-Beatle" lyrics ever written.

The one part of "Baby You're a Rich Man" I do like is the strange harmonies on "Natural E".