Dan Pasqua's FedEx Driver

CLASSICS - "I Eat Cannibals" - Total Coleo "Head Over Heels" - Go-Go's "Head Over Heels" - Tears for Fears "Mexican Radio" - Wall of Voodoo "Peek-A-Boo!" - Devo "The Look of Love" - ABC "Close to the Edit" - Art of Noise THE WORST - Anything by Wang Chung Anything by Madonna Anything by Prince or Princely by-products (Sheila E, et al) Anything by Twisted Sister, especially "Leader of the Pack", starring Bobcat Golthwaite Anything by the Beastie Boys Any of that other talking s*** AND THE GREATEST SONG EVER. I MEAN EVER, IN ANY DECADE, IN ANY CENTURY, AND IT CAME FROM THE 80's - "The Whole of the Moon" - the Waterboys AND THE ULTIMATE FANTASY FROM THE 80's - THE ULTIMATE WOMAN... (Drumroll)

Yo-Ho! Yo-Ho!! Yo-Ho!!! Still in the bag with the "Legend of the Potato Chip" on the back! My second favourite chip I can't find anymore, because I could only find them in McHenry, and I don't talk to the loser idiot psychopathic schizophrenic b**** that lives there anymore... They were called "Mrs. Fields", they were so greasy they were actually almost wet, and I loved them. And the bag was scary, because there was a drawing of an evil, pedophile potato dancing in a circle with two young German children, and the potato is leering at them. Which reminds me, Rammstein actually has a new album coming out in a couple months.

Harold Reynolds is a worthless pile of s***. He and the other maggot-ass Ravitch lost all credibility when they both said they actually believed Sosa grabbed the corked bat totally by accident. If they really believed him, then they know nothing about baseball and they have no credibility as baseball reporters. If Disney ordered them to lie and say they believed Sosa, then they are journalistic whores. Either way, I haven't watched BBT since that night, and I won't watch it again until those two boneheads have been replaced.

KENNY - Tampa Bay is fading - GET CARL CRAWFORD!!!

...And just when you thought Cub people couldn't do anything to embarass themselves any more, when you thought they couldn't possibly do anything to make themselves even more hated throughout the country... Cub people have now stooped to going to the Cardinal board, asking Cardinal fans how Daryl Kile is, and mocking Albert Pujols' daughter, who, if you didn't know, has Down Syndrome.

I pulled this off the Cub bored a little while ago...I don't usually bother, but this is so freakin hysterical I couldn't resist...I figured it'll give y'all a chuckle... =================================================== From: kyle casillas Jul-19 11:52 pm To: 9wswins (5 of 9) 102337.5 in reply to 102337.1 hey get the f*ck out of here you POS. cubs fans have more sportsmanship than to go over to your board and gloat. i can't wait until the cubs take the division, and scott rolen breaks his leg, and we shove it back in your face, i may be flying off the handle here, and everyone may think of me what they want. but i know cards barely won tonight, and they havent really crushed us in most of the games they have won. if not for stupid mistakes, we'd have a division lead. but when we comeback to take the central, i hope to see you win the wildcard, so the cubs can kick your @$# in the playoffs. you're one of the luckiest ballclubs around, cards wont get one more win against us this year(that includes when we whoop you in the playoffs). ================================================== Will they never learn?

Cub people once again proving why they are the most classless, idiotic, hated, reviled, ridiculed, humiliating and embarassing fan base in sport. I hope things really get out of hand tomorrow so they can continue the great Cub tradition of littering their "shrine".

I subscribed to the Daily Southtown the day after Jon Garland threw a 1-hitter at Fenway and Mark Prior got his first career win against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Guess what was splattered all over the back page of the Sun-Times? I'm boycotting the Sun-Times until the Sox get equal coverage and Mariotti is gone. I'm still waiting and they're still losing money. Regarding the Southtown - if you live north of I-55, you will have trouble finding it, and the farther North you go, the harder it gets. The Southtown gives fair and equal coverage to both the Sox and Cubs. I don't mind the Cubs getting the bulk of the headlines if it's warranted. What I do mind is: "SAMMY STRIKES OUT IN DOMINICAN CHARITY GAME - SPECIAL 32-PAGE SOUVENEIR PULL-OUT SECTION" "White Sox Win World Series - See pg. 78 between horoscope and 'Drabble'"

They know the game, they have their finger on the pulse of what's going on. I can live without the Vin Scully impressions. I would like to know the score now and then. Cub fans are insanely jealous of both of our announcing teams, and that makes me dig them even more.

"Harold Baines Pinch-Hits for Ben Davis, Hits Game-Winning Home Run" "After Game, Sox Obtain Carl Crawford from Fading Devil Rays"

1. Get off the goddammm cell phone if it's going to suck your brains out of your ears while you're on it!! 2. Why did you make such an effort to blast around me and cut me off if all you're gonna do is slow down once you do it? 3. When the left turn arrow goes off...it means you can't turn left anymore. The fact that you were in the act of acceleration does not legally entitle you to turn left ten seconds after the arrow is no longer there. One of these days, I shall hit you, as will be my legal right, as I have the right-of-way and you blew a red light. 4. If you create a lane out of a non-existent lane to try to blast in front of everybody, and think we're all going to let you in front of us, don't give us s*** when we don't; give yourself s***. 5. You're the one who decided to cruise along in a lane where people will probably be turning left. Stop thinking it's your God given right to charge into the lane next to you when cars are flying by. You got yourself into that lane...wait till EVERYONE has gone by next to you, then get yourself out of it. Thank you.

I've refused to listen to Oasis ever since they said they're better than the Beatles. If they're so much better, why do they have to copy every thing the Beatles do? There's a version of "Ob La Di, Ob La Da" on the "Anthology" that has an almost calypso feel; it's a lot faster and has a totally different rhythym. Listening to "Revolution #9" when CD's were first invented was mind-blowing. Chilling, almost. And, of course, the "White Album" was the first CD I bought. That was when CD cases were these long cardboard sleeves that were twice as long as the actual CD. You can't play anything backwards on CD. SO...here's another one...take your "White Album" ALBUM, play "I'm So Tired". You know John's mumbling between "I'm So Tired" and "Blackbird"? Play that backwards.

"Revolution #9" is not on my list for one reason... If you have a turntable and the "White Album" ALBUM, put "Revolution #9" on. Stop the turntable and play it backwards when they repeat "Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9..." and tell me that isn't one of the coolest things you've ever heard. "Run For Your Life" - written in 30 seconds by John Lennon because the "Rubber Soul" album was one song short. He was ashamed of that song; he always despised it...he came right out and said they were the most "un-Beatle" lyrics ever written.

The one part of "Baby You're a Rich Man" I do like is the strange harmonies on "Natural E".

How about that? That's one of MY favourites!! I always had the sneaking suspicion that "Maxwell" was McCartney's rip on the Manson Family, the lyrics just fit so well...the whole imagery of the courtroom, and the way it mirrored the conduct of Manson and his followers... ("Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery...") ("Painting testimonial pictures...")

There's a great conversation going on about everyone's favourite Beatle song - I think it'd be really interesting to hear what everyone's LEAST favourite Beatle songs are. I live and die with the Beatles (and the Sox), so I'm not being blasphemous, I'm just really curious to know which Beatle songs just don't make the grade in your book. Leaving out the stuff on the "Anthology" (they never released that stuff for a reason, ya know!) here's my least favourite Beatle songs: 1. The Inner Light 2. Mr. Moonlight 3. Only a Northern Song 4. Baby You're a Rich Man I'd add "Flying", but I thought it was hysterical, and total Beatle genius, that they recorded an instrumental that is nothing but standard blues changes, then made it the only song credited to ALL 4 BEATLES! Priceless. What have you guys got?

This is a gear idea for a conversation! 01. Old Brown Shoe 02. Strawberry Fields Forever 03. "Abbey Road" side 2 medley 04. Lovely Rita 05. Hello, Goodbye 06. Help! 07. And Your Bird Can Sing 08. Martha My Dear 09. Two Of Us 10. Happiness is a Warm Gun 11. Penny Lane 12. Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite 13. Tomorrow Never Knows 14. Dig a Pony 15. Drive My Car 16. She Said, She Said 17. We Can Work it Out 18. Ticket To Ride 19. A Day in the Life 20. Paperback Writer 21. I've Just Seen a Face 22. Thank You, Girl 23. I'll Be Back "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"

Can we trade Mariotti straight-up for Posnanski? Better yet, don't you think it's time to help Jay realize he's desperately needed as a war correspondent in Fallujah? Except from Mariotti's "Inside Fallujah" column: "My captors try to tell me the Americans have brought about the collapse of their society and lifestyle. I tell them they haven't seen anything until they've seen the war zone known as Come-Hit-Me Park in Chicago. All the missiles, AK-47's and car bombs in Iraq blend into the background when I tell them about the unspeakable horrors of William Ligue. Sure, mosques may be in flames, suicide bombers eradicate entire shopping districts; even as I write this, the red glare and thunderous bursts of artillery shells fall around me...yet, these streets are still safer than the streets around 35th and Shields. On a daily basis, the Iraquis gamble with their existence in pursuit of their liberation and their religion; thank Allah they will never have to face the chilling terror of risking life and limb in pursuit of a churro at the Ballmall..." Ribster, you got the second paragraph?

I was at Busch with Ribbie/Rhubarb during the Cub/Card series previous to the one you were at. Cardinal fans are the class of the National League, they tolerate the Cub filth with maturity and they take it in stride. I liked Busch Stadium a lot, there's a lot of history and baseball lore packed in there. I took the tour and saw plans for the new stadium; it looks phenomenal. After the Cub loss, two drunken Cub people were sitting in front of us, just staring at the field. They were good-natured about it, though; Cardinal fans were dancing artound them, posing for pictures with them, they were either to stunned or too drunk to do anything about it. One thing I thought was great about the telecast Sunday; ESPN had absolutely no qualms about showing a pathetic drunken Cub maggot standing up in the middle of Busch taunting Cardinal fans. WGN would never, ever show anyone blatantly embarassing and humiliating Lemming Nation. Cardinal fans are taking more s*** from Cub people than Sox fans have; they're lucky, they haven't played any good teams yet, they have no pitching, they're old, they're going to self-destruct in the second half, they're playing way over their heads, blah, blah, blah. If and when the Cub are mathematically eliminated this year, their board is going to crash from overload; they will reap what they sow. Here's the Prior\Wood boys from Busch. Enjoy.

"Hey...is there a keg in the back of this thing? Honk honk, Cardinal fans!"

Dear Lorelei; I've changed my mind again; I think Keira Knightley is probably a little out of my league. So I'm replacing you in my heart with Queen Rania of Jordan instead.

Dear Minnesota Person; Yes, she WAS in her 30's. When I went to look for an uploadable picture of hers, I found a lengthy interview with her where she shares that information. My 25-year-old passion for her has just gone up in flames. What a conceited, arrogant, condescending prima-donna! I wish I hadn't read that whole interview, which basically boiled down to, "I'm so incredibly gorgeous, I'm so incredibly gorgeous, I'm so incredibly gorgeous...I don't even like baseball, and it was disturbing to have all these little boys gawking at me because I'm so incredibly hot...did I tell you how gorgeous I am? I'd NEVER take my clothes off, because I'm SO...did I tell you how gorgeous I am?" Well I have news for you, Lorelei; Kiera Knightley has replaced you forever!

Bluesox; I wonder if Lorelei still has her Loop T-shirt? I can't upload my picture of her, dammit! Hey, I guess I could!! Special Message to CWSOX: Did you KNOW that the exact frequency of the Loop is 98.76, or was that just a fantastic coincidence? Damn, look at that set of...eyes...on her. They don't make eyes like that anymore.