Mplssoxfan

My addition to the thread... A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting, and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir." The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... "A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"

QUOTE(SoxFan1 @ Feb 24, 2006 -> 10:08 PM) Sport: Football Team: Juventus Position: Striker Legacy: Most goals by a striker all-time. Ha! Good one! If this were the case: Tottenham Hotspur Centrehalf Nodding home goals to ice each part of the Treble I still say golf would be best, though.

Golf. No question. Team Sport: Baseball. White Sox Shortstop

From Iowahawk BUSH INKS IRISH FIRM TO GUARD NATIONAL WHISKEY RESERVE Washington DC - The Bush Administration today angrily defended its controversial approval of the Irish company Donnybrook Lads Ltd. to oversee security at the National Strategic Whiskey Reserve in Lynchburg, TN, vowing to veto a new House bill that would force the two-man firm to undergo federal breathalizer testing. "During the rigorous 7 minute review process, both Seamus and Kevin gave us an express oral promise that they never touch the stuff," said White House Spokesman Scott McClelland. "Well, maybe just a wee nip at wakes, and on All Saints Day." "Congressional postering on this issue plays into the worst anti-Irish stereotypes," added McClelland, who said that the security contract included a failsafe Designated Driver clause to keep the Irish firm away from sensitive whiskey truck keys. "We can reassure the American people that all Strategic Whiskey Reserve transportation and driving duties will be handled by highly-skilled elderly Koreans," said McClelland. There's other funny stuff there, too.

Here's a link to a piece which is a pretty good argument in favor of the ports deal.

FINALS. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan vs. A Day In The Life - The Beatles Although this certainly isn't my all-time favorite, it's my vote here.

QUOTE(YASNY @ Feb 24, 2006 -> 02:39 AM) Their are a lot strange people out in San Francisco. Truer words were never spoken, or typed.

Cool as all hell. If they counted your chat time, you'd have been there a lot quicker!

I got my new laptop today!

QUOTE(Flash Tizzle @ Feb 22, 2006 -> 04:07 PM) No--both you and Kap are instead citing the origins behind the perceived outrage. Which, as we gather, were incited by Syrian and Iranian clerics. How do you explain the thousands rioting through streets in various cites across Africa, Europe, and Asia? To them, these protests are entirely about the sacreligious caricatures of their prophet. Flash, are you contending that all these protests are spontaneous? I would strongly suggest that they are not.

QUOTE(Rex Kickass @ Feb 22, 2006 -> 02:07 PM) And authoritarian governments. True. These "spontaneous" protests are a simple way for the corrupt totalitarian ruling cabals to control their people, or, more accurately, make their people forget in what dire straits they're in. "See! The West is against us! Let's show them what we're made of. Pay no attention to all the gold bullion my servants are carrying for me, your true enemy is Denmark! Or America! Or Oceania!"

QUOTE(YASNY @ Feb 21, 2006 -> 12:09 PM) Yes, I've thrown 1984 as an example out there a couple times to those that think we are going to waltz to a repeat. 1984 was a nightmare, due to the facts the we flopped and the Cubs won their division. Thank goodness for Leon Durham. Leon Durham Day was especially sweet for those of us fans who also cheer for the Bears. What the hell happened to Floyd Bannister? Great stuff, but diddly/squat between the ears.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473692/ It's definitely worth seeing. His newest work is very good, and he relives some of his best old stuff.

Maybe we should have seen this coming. It's as inevitable as a snowstorm in March.

QUOTE(KipWellsFan @ Feb 21, 2006 -> 04:32 PM) http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/2006/...E1401BE718.html Good article on an overview of the replacement process. Likely to be an Asian. Among the 18 distinguished candidates Equality Now proposes are Latvian President Vaira Vike-Freiberga; UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Louise Arbour; and Aung Sang Suu Kyi, a prominent dissident and prime minister-elect of Myanmar (Burma). I doubt it, but it'd be great.

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Feb 20, 2006 -> 05:45 PM) Ah playing the "They all do it card". Don't worry the thread police should be here with a legally obtained warrent for your posting arrest over this grevious offense. Frank Drebin, reporting for duty.

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Feb 21, 2006 -> 04:19 PM) So has anyone yet come up with an idea of why exactly it is Bush seems so adamant about this deal going forward, when it certainly doesn't pass the "does this smell right" test if nothing else? Because he can't admit to a mistake? Because he doesn't want to show weakness? Because he won't tell us the full story, including any backroom dealings with the Emirs? Because he's still not sure who killed Arthur Gwynn Geiger?

QUOTE(The Critic @ Feb 21, 2006 -> 12:27 PM) No, you don't get one anymore. If you go to Spring Break at YOUR age, you'll be taken for a creepy old dude or a narc, or both! There's lots of creepy old dudes in Key West, and no one there really pays any attention to narcs (or so I'm told). Unfortunately, my trip South this year is going to be the Mall of America. Limited funds, don't you know.

Oh my gawd! That's SoxFan1's music!

QUOTE(Heads22 @ Feb 20, 2006 -> 08:22 AM) Like I said, I'm suspending myself for a week if KU beats Texas. Don't need to worry about talking about ISU then.... Besides, I need to be back so Rowand and I can talk NOT.....err...NIT hoops. Hey! Don't forget the Gophers! Kings of the NIT, they are.

Happy happy, B>W!

Section 1. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan vs. Baba O' Riley - The Who Section 2. All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix vs. Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones vs. A Day In The Life - The Beatles

QUOTE(LowerCaseRepublican @ Feb 19, 2006 -> 10:41 AM) That's why when I read it, I thought two things. 1) What a bunch of government idiots trying to do this. 2) Holy Hell! What balls to surf porn in the middle of the afternoon at a public library! Happens all the time in Minneapolis, so much so that the librarians are getting sick of it.

QUOTE(LowerCaseRepublican @ Feb 19, 2006 -> 06:28 PM) http://www.heralddemocrat.com/articles/200...ews/state01.txt Houston’s police chief proposed Wednesday placing surveillance cameras in apartment complexes, downtown streets, shopping malls, and even private homes as a way of combatting crime with a shortage of police officers. “I know a lot of people are concerned about Big Brother, but my response to that is if you are not doing anything wrong, why should you worry about it?” -- Um...I worry about it because of the UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION, you soft-headed moron. If you want to intrude into peoples' privacy, get a f***ing warrant. Pffft -- the Constiution? That's so last century. Conform or die, you America hater.

QUOTE(Balta1701 @ Feb 16, 2006 -> 12:04 PM) From the "They keep finding new ways to make me think they're inept" category: Come on. Even my 78 year old father uses email.