Texsox

How come we never seem to have a couple hall of famers wanting to play in Chicago? Go Astros.

Editorial Reviews From Publishers Weekly In her newest book, Schlessinger (10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives) relies upon her experience in private practice, radio and letters she received from men and women in tackling the issue of women who mistreat their men and suffer the consequences of unhappiness. The women who criticize their husbands in the stories that Schlessinger relates are depressed in their marriages and feel little love from their husbands. Unabashedly asserting that man is a "very simple creature," who needs only "direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good loving'" to respond with devotion, compassion and love, this controversial marriage and family therapist claims that every woman can achieve a deeply satisfying marriage if she adheres to certain fundamentals men require. Preparing dinner, caring for the children without complaint, greeting her husband with a kiss and engaging in sexual intimacy instead of "tearing down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance" can result in the harmonious marriage women crave. While many of her listeners and readers claim her unequivocal advice has salvaged teetering marriages and improved marital harmony, others perceive Schlessinger as a throwback to what many see as years of female oppression in the home. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Doh, men are like tile, lay them right the first time and you can walk over them for the rest of their lives. Cut the crap, guys will take all sorts of abuse if the sex is great.

January 8, 2004 Dear Diary -- My State of the Union Speech is comin up soon & fer once I'm lookin forward to it. And the best part is Karl promised that I'll get ta give at least four more of em. Although Karl did admit he's just a teeny bit worried about that nasty Dean feller on accounta he's such a loose cannon. He says if Dean's the candidate I'm gonna have ta do a lotta extra debate practicin, cause Dean's the kinda guy that might make me lose my temper. I joked that these days everybody makes me lose my temper. That Karl has no sensa humor. Anyway, I don't know see why I have to debate anybody. After all, I captured Saddam, and that's all anybody needs ta know. But Karl says I won't be able to get outta at least a coupla debates, but that I'll be fine. Especially since I'm way taller than Dean & the tall guy always wins. He also wants me ta watch some of my 2000 election tapes so I can remember how ta do my moderate, humble foreign policy, compassionate conservative shtick. Damn! I was hopin I'd only haveta use the cowboy act, which is a whole lot easier. Plus it gives me an excuse ta hang out at the ranch, clear cedar, and throw horseshoes at Barney. Like I told Karl, I'm not worried about the election cause my pal Pat Robertson says God's on my side and that I'm gonna win no matter what. But Karl says God or no God, I still have to practice my SOTU speech. From here with more

Stop this thread right now or PA will think we actually need him around here

I wouldn't mind being the last straight guy on earth. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "I'm straight" "Ohh I guess you are too busy to work . . ."

It's been more than that. Now if school districts were open about this problem we could start going back to school.

Sad, sad, sad.

MARINE CITY, Mich. -- The Vatican has upheld the suspension of a Michigan priest and has defrocked a second priest, both of whom were accused of sexually abusing minors, the Archdiocese of Detroit said Sunday. The Roman Catholic Church upheld Detroit Cardinal Adam Maida's decision to place the Reverend James Wysocki, 63, on leave from his job as pastor of Holy Cross Parish in Marine City on Feb. 1, 2003. Maida acted after an Archdiocesan Review Board found evidence of sexual abuse during the early years of Wysocki's ministry. Prosecutors did not seek charges because of statute of limitations issues. Maida asked Wysocki to resign, but the priest declined and instead appealed to the Vatican. The Rev. Timothy Birney was installed Sunday as pastor of Holy Cross, the archdiocese said. Wysocki was ordained in 1967 and became associate pastor at St. Michael Parish in Pontiac. In 1972, he took on additional responsibility as chaplain and counselor at Pontiac Catholic High School. In 1977, he became pastor of St. Mary Queen of Creation Parish in New Baltimore. In a letter to parishioners, Maida asked for "continued prayers for the church, for Father Wysocki and Father Birney," the archdiocese said in a news release. "It is my hope and prayer ... Holy Cross Parish will continue to move forward in our common service of the Lord and his people." Maida also announced Sunday that Pope John Paul II had issued a decree dismissing the Rev. Joseph Sito, 68, from the priesthood, a process known as laicization. Sito has been on leave since 1993 from his job as pastor of St. Cletus Parish in Warren "due to substantive allegations of sexual abuse of minors," the archdiocese said. In 1999, Sito was charged with fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct after he was accused of convincing a 17-year-old boy to expose himself, court records show. In a deal with the prosecutor's office, Sito pleaded no contest to a reduced charge of assault, and the sex offense was dismissed. He paid a fine and did not go to jail. hypocrites

She had mentioned once it was one of her favorite stores and one of my gift rules is shop where the receipant shops. Part of her dating problem is she works in the local Boy Scout shop, so she's only meeting old fathers and she doesn't drink and really dislikes bars. At college, guys would just be intimidated by her looks.

I found a little pocket book titled "Words to Comfort" at my local Christian Book Store and bookmarked a couple passages for her. She started to cry a little. Sometimes it really is the thought that counts. She's doing fine. She has had such a difficult time dating for some reason. She is very attractive with a perfect figure, and such a sweet personality. I guess some younger guys are intimidated.

Pucker Up by Tristan Taormino Best and Worst of 2003 January 9th, 2004 3:00 PM Best Queer Moment: Despite protests, the Episcopal Church confirmed the Reverend Gene Robinson as bishop of New Hampshire, making him the first openly gay bishop in the church's history. The Backfire Award: The American Family Association launched an online poll about gay marriage with the hope of presenting proof of America's anti-gay venom to Congress in the form of statistics. But pro-gay-marriage activists rallied and came out ahead; the site is still taking votes (afa.net/petitions/marriagepoll.asp). Best Legal Victory (tie): Queer marriage and sodomy legalized! The Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that the ban on lesbian and gay marriage was unconstitutional, thus clearing the way for homo marriage in the state and going beyond Vermont, where same-sex civil unions, but not marriages, are legal. And in Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court struck down a Texas law banning private consensual sex between same-sex adults—a decision that impacts all states with sodomy laws still on the books. The "What Is It With Texas?" Award: George Bush's home state uses its resources for important crime fighting: getting dildo peddlers off the street! Joanne Webb was arrested for selling sex toys to two undercover police officers in a sting operation (hello?) in Cleburne, Texas. Webb is a consultant for Passion Parties, a company that produces in-home sex toy parties, à la Tupperware gatherings. She could face up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine. Best Sex Worker Purchase: Savvy booty-shakers alert! Just a few years after starting the only union for strippers, the dancers at the Lusty Lady in San Francisco bought the business, making it the only worker-owned cooperative peep show in the country. That's what I call putting your money where your coochie is. Most Humorous DIY Sex-Ed Experiment: Six 13-year-old British schoolboys in southern England were rushed to the hospital after taking Viagra at lunchtime. The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the school as saying, "By the time the afternoon lessons began, there was no hiding what they had done." All received a "stiff" penalty for violating the school's anti-drug policy: suspension. Best Gender Performance by a Pop Star (tie): Whether he's the love child of Nicole Kidman and K.D. Lang or a female-to-male transsexual (look at those dainty hands, people!), Clay Aiken has given sex appeal to geeks, fey boys, and girly-but-straight guys everywhere. Similarly, man-f***ing rocker Pink continues to be one of the coolest and butchest women, making music and being a girl on her terms. Sexiest Use of Pasties and Punk Rock: The goth, pierced, and tattooed lovelies of underground-no-more suicidegirls.com announced their first national burlesque tour. The acts are inspired by the sex-positive pinup site, featuring music from Björk and Siouxsie and the Banshees as well as the winner of their indie-rock contest. Hottest New Porn Couple: Speaking of multiple interpretations of the Sex Pistols, Rob and Rachel Rotten (rachelrotten.com) have paved the way for an entirely new genre of porn with the first ever punk-rock porno Little Runaway, featuring punky (and I don't mean Brewster) performers and the bands Di, US Bombs, the Sick, and 100 or so Punks. Rachel Rotten's working a killer Betty Crocker-Betty Page combo; it's no wonder Jenna Jameson handpicked her to do in the Vivid remake of The Devil in Miss Jones. Thus far, the only guy she f***s on-screen is her inked, Mohawk-sporting husband, who has the word POISON tattooed on his dick. Yup, they are serious. Best Sex (Spoof) Awards: In response to the seemingly endless list of AVN Award nominations (93 categories, over 1,200 nominees), porn PR maven Carly Milne enlisted some colleagues to acknowledge the more inventive side of smut flicks. The First Annual Pornblography Awards recognize such important contributions to the adult-film industry as: Performer Whose Sex Noises Most Closely Resemble the Sounds of a Tortured Farm Animal (Lexington Steele), Most Gaping Asshole to the Point It Stopped Being Sexy and Started Being Gross (Mila), and Best Drool (Belladonna). Best Dyke Quote in Worst Dyke Article: In an otherwise muddled and poorly researched New York magazine piece about the phenomenon of the emerging lesbian identity "boi," Ariel Levy quotes interviewee Deborah about her love of butch-femme relationships and her difficulty in finding a good butch: "I've gotten to the point where I see men on the street and go Damn. If that were a woman? That's how far I've been pushed in this city: I look at pictures of Johnny Depp longingly and think, If only you didn't have a penis." So brilliant! The "Wow, Cocks Are More Various (and Sensitive) Than I Thought" Award: Retailer Condomania began marketing They-Fit condoms, the only custom-sized prophylactics that come in a wad-blowing 55 different sizes. How does one know what size he is? By measuring length and width with the "Fit Kit," a ruler that, incidentally, does not show inches, but nonsequential letter and number codes like S77 or B17, which is also how They-Fit condoms are sold. Best Full-Frontal Male Nudity and Best Sex Scene in a Mainstream Movie: Kudos to William H. Macy for nearly showing it all in The Cooler, and for diving on Maria Bello's muff as if it were his last meal. When was the last time you saw a man go down on a woman for more than one second in a Hollywood movie? According to Premiere magazine, director Wayne Kramer had to cut a few seconds off the oral-sex scene in order to secure an R rating, so I for one cannot wait for the DVD! The Thinking With Their Bones Award: Radio personalities Opie and Anthony were fired after they encouraged listeners to have sex in public and a couple was caught and arrested for doing just that at St. Patrick's Cathedral. The "Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow" Award: Sunset Thomas—former porn star and the most high-profile rabbit at Nevada's Bunny Ranch—left the famous brothel for one of its competitors, the Kit Kat Guest Ranch. Thomas cited "philosophical differences" with owner Dennis Hof as the reason for her departure, which conjures images of whores debating Nietzsche in between clients, doesn't it? The Reverse-Reverse Cowgirl Award (for Crossing Over From Hollywood Into Porn Instead of the Other Way Around): Heiress and media darling Paris Hilton made her amateur-porn debut in a vid of her and ex Rick Solomon that circulated on the Internet. Impressed with her, um, performance, Vivid Video publicly offered her a contract. At press time, she had neither accepted nor declined.

Even those who admire Von Dutch don’t call him a nice guy. No, they use words like bitter and racist and violent. They describe someone who was jaded young and spent much of his life hiding from the world. His name was a reflection of that, the very symbol of his obstinacy, anger and distrust of the world. So is it ironic or just cruel that his name wound up co-opted by what Mencken called the booboisie, stitched onto hats and baby doll T-shirts worn by an army of pretty girls like Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Ashton Kutcher? Is Von Dutch doomed, as one admirer put it, "to be forever remembered for his name in 4-inch letters on someone’s ass"? He was Von Dutch, uh-huh, that guy, that name. He was one of hot rodding’s wise men, up there on a stinky, toxic lacquer cloud with painter George Barris, the late customizer Ed "Big Daddy" Roth and artist and hot rodder Robert Williams. Starting in the 1950s, Von Dutch reinvented automotive pinstriping, turning each paint job into a painting, doing way-out takes on woodland creatures and scenes of the day—then making up stories to explain them. He was a superb craftsman who made his own knives, guns and motorized roller skates. He’s most famous for two images that, while perhaps not wholly original, have sent art aficionados and marketing whizzes to the auction blocks. One is the stylized version of the nickname he adopted for himself, Von Dutch. Some say it bears an interesting resemblance to the Norton motorcycle logo, but virtually everyone agrees on its significance. The other is the flying eyeball, Von Dutch once said originated, sans wings, with the Macedonian and Egyptian cultures 5,000 years ago. Don't stop here, read about Carson, Britney, and more

supstitute from the BEGOOD dictionary What happens when your favorite diner is out of your supper. "I was going to have the liver pie but they had to supstitute woodchuck"

That same argument would also open up bigomy. This is, for many politicians, a financial matter. Businesses would have spend money on benefits that they do not already have to spend. Opposition isn't just from organized religion,

Shall we make a roll call of those who aren't ordained and place everyone else there? Hitler, Dahlmer, Speck,

but would you stop going to school, all doctors, etc.? To say "I'm not going to Church because there are pedaphile Priests and Ministers" is a cop out. They are human just like teachers and plumbers.

ahem, It's your turn in the barrel. Only an idiot wouldn't know that

I guess first time offenders of the Texas Decency Laws are only sentenced to one week AMF, have a nice trip.

I've heard he was a very good baseball Scout

We keep saying the Church, which is, by definition, everyone including the parishioners. We do not condem all cops because some are corrupt and hinder prosecuting their buddies? So all police departments are hypocrits? There have been pedaphiles in other Churches, yet only the Catholic's get the black eye? What are some of the other hypocrasies?

Did Britney and Jason file a joint Federal Tax return?

The Top 5 Things Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon 5> "You didn't use a condom?!? Well, don't worry -- we can get *that* mistake annulled, too." 4> "Well, we still had more sex than Liza and David Gest and Michael and Lisa Marie combined." 3> "Hello, room service? I have a complaint: Someone has already eaten my Pop Tart." 2> "It's not pierced; it was wired shut by my record label." and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon... 1> "You are soooo cute. Look at you! You are absolutely adorable. You are-- I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, JASON... I'M IN THE BATHROOM!" Join ClubTop5 to see the whole list: http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml

There have been pedaphile cops, firemen, coaches, school teachers, etc. People who have been in positions of influence and responsibility. Let us not condem an entire Church because of the actions of a few members. Do you think police forces and schools did not try and minimize the publicity? Do you not think that the parents of some victims also wanted the privacy? If you truly believe that not attending Church because of the pedaphiles; you would also not be on line because of the pedaphiles or visit a Doctor, or watch a movie, etc.

fat people? Show me that one.