Jake Burger IV will have to be like, 19-20 in this scenario, so he's got just as much uncertainty as Glorbatron the Destroyer.
You're telling me you're passing up The Destroyer for Burger #4?
I have horrible news if people think athlete infidelity is a sin.
Which, also, let's add the rest of these quotes.
https://www.thescore.com/mlb/news/2896475