Life as a New Parent

[Yoda]

On December 22, 2016 my gf and I welcomed into this world a blessing that has changed our lives in a positive way. Since that moment our new role as parents has opened up our eyes to how much beauty there is to life in the small things we take for granted as adults.

 

We read stories about the baby blues, depression, postpartum psychosis, and other emotions parents go through but luckily, so far, it has been a smooth ride. We’re definitely not getting much sleep right now (as the baby is only 1 mo. 3 wks old) but we’ve adjusted to taking naps when we can.

 

Anyone else a new parent or have any stories they would like to share about their experiences with having a newborn at home? I know if we didn’t have the support of our close family and friends we probably wouldn’t have our sanity in place. They have been 110% supportive.

 

[RockRaines]

You'll want to shoot yourself in the face for the first year. Stick with it, it gets better.

[StrangeSox]

Came here to say congrats and that I'll be joining the club come July, saw rock's post and had the anxiety level tick up a notch again

[Yoda]

You'll want to shoot yourself in the face for the first year. Stick with it, it gets better.

 

So far it’s only gotten as bad as wanting to close the door to his room while I finish washing dishes but honestly he will not stop crying. I thought “Oh he’ll wear himself out” but it never happens.

[Yoda]

Came here to say congrats and that I'll be joining the club come July, saw rock's post and had the anxiety level tick up a notch again

 

Thank you, sir.

 

I hope to give you some optimism.

 

If the baby is crying non-stop he/she is hungry, needs diaper changed (or will soon), or just wants to be held. If it's none of those, then pray a lot. My gf and I have been very careful about taking him outside. Luckily, this winter has been mild so there have been a few weekends where we've gone out to eat without much of a hassle. If it's too darn cold than we're staying in. Once it gets real nice we plan on taking nice strolls to the lake. The experience has been positive overall.

[bmags]

The only thing we really followed was making sure he slept as much as he wanted. Got him to 4 feedings and then he was on a 7-7 schedule by week 4. Has made it all a lot simpler/easier. Wife has not had to go back to work yet though, so that's what I'm holding out for before I stop knocking on wood.

[Jenksismyhero]

I've got a 4.5 year old and an 8 month old. It's amazing how much you "forget" about the infant stage after so many years.

 

I would say that the first year is rough, mostly because of the sleep routine. The hardest part is the first few months. You've basically got this thing that does nothing but eat, sleep, poop, pee and cry. You feel very little love back. Your wife will get this the worst, especially if she's breastfeeding and is forced to be the one doing a lot of the over night feedings and general care.

 

But after those few months you start to get smiles. They start to coo at you. They start to say "da da" or smile when you enter a room or reach out for you and your heart melts. From there you'll encounter various firsts (first solid food, first handheld food, first crawl, first walk, etc) and the next thing you know 4 years have passed and they're a real little person with a unique personality. It's cliche, but they grow up FAST, so enjoy it.

 

As a first time parent you'll be overprotective and anxious/stressed about every little thing. By kid 2 you care less about those things because you've seen how strong/resilient those little guys can be.

 

My wife and I were one of the firsts of our group to have kids. I've repeated the same thing to each new subsequent parent: at 6 months start sleep training, i.e., the cry it out method. Every parent we know who just dealt with their kid overnight ended up spending 1-2 years without good sleep. You almost do a disservice by not allowing the baby to learn how to calm him/herself down and get back to bed. You become a major crutch and they will lean on it for a long, long time. I've seen it with some of my nieces/nephews and now some of my friends. We allowed both of our kids to cry it out starting around 6 months and it was maybe 2 nights of doing it and then they slept through the night without a problem.

 

[Kyyle23]

I've got a 4.5 year old and an 8 month old. It's amazing how much you "forget" about the infant stage after so many years.

 

I would say that the first year is rough, mostly because of the sleep routine. The hardest part is the first few months. You've basically got this thing that does nothing but eat, sleep, poop, pee and cry. You feel very little love back. Your wife will get this the worst, especially if she's breastfeeding and is forced to be the one doing a lot of the over night feedings and general care.

 

But after those few months you start to get smiles. They start to coo at you. They start to say "da da" or smile when you enter a room or reach out for you and your heart melts. From there you'll encounter various firsts (first solid food, first handheld food, first crawl, first walk, etc) and the next thing you know 4 years have passed and they're a real little person with a unique personality. It's cliche, but they grow up FAST, so enjoy it.

 

As a first time parent you'll be overprotective and anxious/stressed about every little thing. By kid 2 you care less about those things because you've seen how strong/resilient those little guys can be.

 

My wife and I were one of the firsts of our group to have kids. I've repeated the same thing to each new subsequent parent: at 6 months start sleep training, i.e., the cry it out method. Every parent we know who just dealt with their kid overnight ended up spending 1-2 years without good sleep. You almost do a disservice by not allowing the baby to learn how to calm him/herself down and get back to bed. You become a major crutch and they will lean on it for a long, long time. I've seen it with some of my nieces/nephews and now some of my friends. We allowed both of our kids to cry it out starting around 6 months and it was maybe 2 nights of doing it and then they slept through the night without a problem.

 

I have a 16 year old, 6 year old, and 3 year old. That ten year gap dumped a ton of infant basics right out of the back of my head.

[Steve9347]

You'll want to shoot yourself in the face for the first year. Stick with it, it gets better.

For us it was about 6-8 months. But seriously, it becomes the best thing you ever do.

[Steve9347]

On December 22, 2016 my gf and I welcomed into this world a blessing that has changed our lives in a positive way. Since that moment our new role as parents has opened up our eyes to how much beauty there is to life in the small things we take for granted as adults.

 

We read stories about the baby blues, depression, postpartum psychosis, and other emotions parents go through but luckily, so far, it has been a smooth ride. We’re definitely not getting much sleep right now (as the baby is only 1 mo. 3 wks old) but we’ve adjusted to taking naps when we can.

 

Anyone else a new parent or have any stories they would like to share about their experiences with having a newborn at home? I know if we didn’t have the support of our close family and friends we probably wouldn’t have our sanity in place. They have been 110% supportive.

Congrats!

 

Keep your eyes on your wife until she's done breastfeeding. It's really quite the mental f*** on their end.

 

Your kid will get more fun every day.

 

Oh, and propose to your girlfriend. She's earned it.

[RockRaines]

For us it was about 6-8 months. But seriously, it becomes the best thing you ever do.

It's hard to understand the effect it has on you until you wake up tired as hell in the morning and your kid's smile and hello gives you legit energy.

[shipps]

Being a parent turns your life upside down. My wife and I were always on the run and lived everyday with a new adventure but once the kids came that obviously ended that. Honestly that was a difficult adjustment but we made time when we could to have our date nights at least and now we take the kids with. Life is good and I am thankful. I wouldn't change a thing.

[kevo880]

We welcomed our daughter into the world in September. It's been quite the experience already. She is on the verge of crawling so soon enough she will be all over the place. I personally can't wait for that, as I think it will be a lot of fun, and everyone I mention that to just laughs at me like I am clueless. Guess we shall see. But I echo those statements, when your kid smiles at the sight of you, that's what it's all about. Forget about any other problems in life.

 

We signed contract to build a house about a week after she was born and my wife's family offered to let us stay with them while the house is being built. I feel like it's been a blessing and a curse. There are now 6 adults and our daughter staying there...in a 1 bathroom house...But it has been cool for them and for us that they have been such a big part of the first year of her life, and they are very helpful with her. Any of you that have lived with your in-laws for an extended period of time should feel my pain though. Just can't wait until the house is finished in May/June and get back to how we want to do things on a daily basis.

[hogan873]

First, congratulations. Having children completely changes your life...for the better. It's the most rewarding thing, and it's also one of the hardest things you'll ever do. I have three kids, and my youngest is 12, so most of the newborn stuff is a distant memory. However, I remember that feeling of being overwhelmed; not so much because of the lack of sleep and whatnot, but because of the thought that we were going to screw it up.

 

But I think Rock's note is pretty accurate. It is difficult, you won't sleep much, you'll be constantly scared for the baby, but when you see that smile and feel that warmth when they fall asleep on you, you'll know there's nothing better than being a parent.

[Steve9347]

We welcomed our daughter into the world in September. It's been quite the experience already. She is on the verge of crawling so soon enough she will be all over the place. I personally can't wait for that, as I think it will be a lot of fun, and everyone I mention that to just laughs at me like I am clueless. Guess we shall see. But I echo those statements, when your kid smiles at the sight of you, that's what it's all about. Forget about any other problems in life.

Those people are lazy. Birdie getting mobile relieved her frustration and made her an even happier little person. When they can move, playing becomes even better.

[StrangeSox]

Not sure if this is the right thread, but what are people doing for college savings? Are 529 plans worth it? Anything else we should be considering?

[smalls2598]

Congrats Yoda and soon-to-be-daddy StangeSox! I love being a dad; I love watching my daughter grow and learn and get so excited when she figures something out. It's such an amazing experience.

 

My daughter (who is 33 months) loves to watch the same movie over and over and over and over again. First it was Inside Out, then The Good Dinosaur, then Beauty and the Beast, then Frozen, then the Toy Story series, and we are now on the Despicable Me series. My question to whomever has seen the Despicable Me series....why does Kevin go from short and 1 eyed in the original movie, to tall and 2 eyed in both Minions and DM2?

Edited February 17, 2017 by smalls2598

[RockRaines]

Congrats Yoda and soon-to-be-daddy StangeSox! I love being a dad; I love watching my daughter grow and learn and get so excited when she figures something out. It's such an amazing experience.

 

My daughter (who is 33 months) loves to watch the same movie over and over and over and over again. First it was Inside Out, then The Good Dinosaur, then Beauty and the Beast, then Frozen, then the Toy Story series, and we are now on the Despicable Me series. My question to whomever has seen the Despicable Me series....why does Kevin go from short and 1 eyed in the original movie, to tall and 2 eyed in both Minions and DM2?

Holy f***, Im in the same boat with my almost 3 year old. Same movies, tv shows. We are on a Mickey Mouse kick and watching Trolls and Beauty and the Beast now. Zootopia, storks, Minions etc have all been in the rotation. I just drop coin in the Apple store over and over.

[LittleHurt05]

My #1 "Nobody told me this before I had kids" thing is:

 

You start losing the freedom of taking a s*** in peace and quiet. Either a kid is too young to be left alone for 5-10 minutes, or the kid is older and just wants to be around you and knocks and knocks or just tries to keep opening the door.

[Yoda]

Congrats!

 

Keep your eyes on your wife until she's done breastfeeding. It's really quite the mental f*** on their end.

 

Your kid will get more fun every day.

 

Oh, and propose to your girlfriend. She's earned it.

 

Thanks Steve.

 

She’s a stay-at-home mom so I gotta give her a lot of credit for keeping sane while I’m at work.

 

As far as marriage – we’re looking at next year. Right now we just want to enjoy this 1st year of being new parents and enjoy our new home since we moved in not too long ago. We have a couple of very good friends also getting married this year so we want 2018 to be our year.

 

[smalls2598]

Holy f***, Im in the same boat with my almost 3 year old. Same movies, tv shows. We are on a Mickey Mouse kick and watching Trolls and Beauty and the Beast now. Zootopia, storks, Minions etc have all been in the rotation. I just drop coin in the Apple store over and over.

Oh, how did I forget about Zootopia?? That one was definitely in there, too.

 

Please tell me it's not Mickey Mouse Funhouse. That show is horrible. Does your child watch Bubble Guppies? That's another one that drives me crazy.

[RockRaines]

Oh, how did I forget about Zootopia?? That one was definitely in there, too.

 

Please tell me it's not Mickey Mouse Funhouse. That show is horrible. Does your child watch Bubble Guppies? That's another one that drives me crazy.

Mickey Mouse Club house and Roadster Racers. This week he's picking up on the show Super Why.

[StrangeSox]

my boss's 2yo is super into nature documentaries, we're hoping to replicate that somehow

Edited February 17, 2017 by StrangeSox

[caulfield12]

The hardest part with a 23 month old is balancing overprotectiveness with the opposite instinct to let them learn how to fall and pick themselves up.

 

It's still mostly gestures, as the vocab is limited a bit...partly because English is his second language, primary is Chinese. But you can really see and feel the growing cleverness at about 1 1/2 years.

 

He really loves police cars, wheels, anything technical like air conditioners, fans, remote controls, phones...and his Italian scooter, which will soon be replaced by a tricycle. We also just bought him a pan drum to develop the musical side but he's not quite patient enough yet. He has a lot of children's books but he wants to hold them and turn the pages himself instead of listening to the stories for very long. When we play with any type of ball, he throws with both hands so I'm envisioning him as a future loogy, haha.

 

The thing that freaks me out is his running everywhere and how quickly he can get away if you're not paying attention...especially targeting any escalator going the wrong direction. He will cross his fingers a lot and point and you wonder if that's normal. Then the doctors said he had flat feet but everything I read about shoe inserts and orthotics says to wait until at least 4-5 for any intervention.

Edited February 17, 2017 by caulfield12

[Chisoxfn]

The only thing we really followed was making sure he slept as much as he wanted. Got him to 4 feedings and then he was on a 7-7 schedule by week 4. Has made it all a lot simpler/easier. Wife has not had to go back to work yet though, so that's what I'm holding out for before I stop knocking on wood.

We lived and breathed by schedules for our little one. In hindsight, outside of those first few weeks (due to lack of sleep and just the adjustments), they are actually their easiest at that point (less mobile, etc...haha). Plus even though there is the lack of nighttime sleep, I forgot (when we had our 2nd) how much they sleep during the day those first few months. Kids bring much joy, but they also definitely test your patience at times.