Life as a New Parent

[Steve9347]

Yoda congrats man!

 

I just had my first in November and he's the coolest thing ever. We put him to bed every night at 9 but he sure gets pissed every night at 8. Like clockwork almost, just insta-pissed, nothing one can do but walk him. Anybody else with Witching/Arsenic Hour experience?

Why 9pm? Kids need 12 hours of sleep overnight - do you want him to sleep in?

 

Birdie has been an amazing sleeper. I like to think it's because we Baby Wised the s*** out of her and got her on a schedule. She's been sleeping 7p-7:20am since she was like 6 weeks old. Sleep training ftw.

 

She's at one nap a day. Every single day is as follows:

 

7:20a up

12:30-3p nap

7:00p bedtime

 

She likes the schedule and so do we.

[Kyyle23]

Why 9pm? Kids need 12 hours of sleep overnight - do you want him to sleep in?

 

Birdie has been an amazing sleeper. I like to think it's because we Baby Wised the s*** out of her and got her on a schedule. She's been sleeping 7p-7:20am since she was like 6 weeks old. Sleep training ftw.

 

She's at one nap a day. Every single day is as follows:

 

7:20a up

12:30-3p nap

7:00p bedtime

 

She likes the schedule and so do we.

 

You were lucky. My middle child was a scheduled sleeper, done at 8-830, up around 6-6:30, naps around 10 and 2. My youngest, nope. We did the exact same things with him, he just refused naps. The best we could do is get him to snooze 10-20 minutes, wouldn't sleep in his crib or bassinet, only wanted to sleep next to mom. It was maddening

[LittleHurt05]

Yoda congrats man!

 

I just had my first in November and he's the coolest thing ever. We put him to bed every night at 9 but he sure gets pissed every night at 8. Like clockwork almost, just insta-pissed, nothing one can do but walk him. Anybody else with Witching/Arsenic Hour experience?

 

What are some tricks you have all come up with during the years?

 

One of mine is popping the dryer on and walkbouncing him in the laundry room. Powerless to it's lulling charms. Powerless

 

Also the hairdryer track on youtube is just an hour of straight hairdryer sounds. She's used that if he pops up from a nap all pissed.

 

If he is getting pissed at 8 PM, I would think he is just really tired already and needs to be put to bed for the night already. At that age, they can never get enough sleep.

[Steve9347]

You were lucky. My middle child was a scheduled sleeper, done at 8-830, up around 6-6:30, naps around 10 and 2. My youngest, nope. We did the exact same things with him, he just refused naps. The best we could do is get him to snooze 10-20 minutes, wouldn't sleep in his crib or bassinet, only wanted to sleep next to mom. It was maddening

That very much sounds maddening.

[brett05]

Yoda congrats man!

 

I just had my first in November and he's the coolest thing ever. We put him to bed every night at 9 but he sure gets pissed every night at 8. Like clockwork almost, just insta-pissed, nothing one can do but walk him. Anybody else with Witching/Arsenic Hour experience?

 

What are some tricks you have all come up with during the years?

 

One of mine is popping the dryer on and walkbouncing him in the laundry room. Powerless to it's lulling charms. Powerless

 

Also the hairdryer track on youtube is just an hour of straight hairdryer sounds. She's used that if he pops up from a nap all pissed.

A car ride with the heat maxed out, even if it was a summer month. Baby would fall asleep within 10 minutes usually. Out cold so my girls did not wake up transferring them from the carrier to the crib.

[Jenksismyhero]

You were lucky. My middle child was a scheduled sleeper, done at 8-830, up around 6-6:30, naps around 10 and 2. My youngest, nope. We did the exact same things with him, he just refused naps. The best we could do is get him to snooze 10-20 minutes, wouldn't sleep in his crib or bassinet, only wanted to sleep next to mom. It was maddening

 

I'm in the same boat. My first was an amazing sleeper. 7:30pm-7am like clockwork with a 2-3 hour nap midday. My second (9 months) sleeps from about 8 to 5:30-6. Can't get him to sleep past that. And he refuses to take naps. Our daycare is lucky if he takes two 20-30 minute power naps during the day. He doesn't get to the point of being over tired. He just doesn't want (need?) to sleep.

 

 

[Chisoxfn]

Great post mark, thanks for all of the advice.

Echo those sentiments. Great post.

[RockRaines]

Mine now is 3 and he still takes 4 hour naps from 1-5. I'm hoping my second will be as good.

 

 

[Chisoxfn]

Mine now is 3 and he still takes 4 hour naps from 1-5. I'm hoping my second will be as good.

Wow, that is a long nap. Our 3 year old is an okay sleeper (ends up walking into our room probably 30% of the time, but at least knocks out when they show up). Our 2 year old is a very good sleeper. Either way, getting sleep is something that is always appreciated. When a sickness goes through the house, it is the worst, because you aren't getting sleep and typically you are sick (or are about to get sick) so it just double whammy's. Hard enough when you are feeling good vs. when no one in the house is.

[StrangeSox]

Good Lord child care is expensive

[bmags]

In home daycare is way to go especially in active neighborhoods where you can get lots of recs. About $5/hr normally.

[StrangeSox]

My wife really wants the socialization aspect, and my cop cousin warned us off of home day care places (he gets lots of calls out to them for various issues). I think the couple of places we've checked out work out to about $6/hour.

[Yoda]

My wife really wants the socialization aspect, and my cop cousin warned us off of home day care places (he gets lots of calls out to them for various issues). I think the couple of places we've checked out work out to about $6/hour.

 

You can't beat that.

 

The gf and I have been lucky so far that our employers have been flexible with our schedules. I work 6-2:30p and she works 4p-8p. It's worked out pretty well.

[StrangeSox]

You can't beat that.

 

The gf and I have been lucky so far that our employers have been flexible with our schedules. I work 6-2:30p and she works 4p-8p. It's worked out pretty well.

 

It's still $300+ a week if we're looking at 45-50 hours (7:30 drop-off, 4:30 pickup), ugh. At least we get a 10 week or so relief during the summers since my wife's a teacher.

[smalls2598]

In home daycare is way to go especially in active neighborhoods where you can get lots of recs. About $5/hr normally.

We originally had our daughter in an in home daycare, and things were going great until the nanny broke her hip. We then had to put our daughter into Childtime, and the price was about $200 more per month. Our daughter did not like it there, and the place smelled like dirty diapers (the staff was very nice, though). Luckily, we were able to find another in home daycare about 2 months later, and she has been going there since March 2015, and she loves it.

 

[Jenksismyhero]

It's still $300+ a week if we're looking at 45-50 hours (7:30 drop-off, 4:30 pickup), ugh. At least we get a 10 week or so relief during the summers since my wife's a teacher.

 

Wait until you have 2 or 3 in daycare at one time.

[Yoda]

Wait until you have 2 or 3 in daycare at one time.

 

Basically just work to pay for daycare.

[bmags]

It's still $300+ a week if we're looking at 45-50 hours (7:30 drop-off, 4:30 pickup), ugh. At least we get a 10 week or so relief during the summers since my wife's a teacher.

 

Ha, yes I am so far past this stage. After a moment where it looked like the only in home option would be $9 an hour, I quickly pivoted to spending an additional $1000 a month as a super great deal.

 

But, we are also keenly aware due to family that this will be a bargain comapred to 2/3 kids where we will almost certainly need a nanny or nanny share.

[bmags]

We originally had our daughter in an in home daycare, and things were going great until the nanny broke her hip. We then had to put our daughter into Childtime, and the price was about $200 more per month. Our daughter did not like it there, and the place smelled like dirty diapers (the staff was very nice, though). Luckily, we were able to find another in home daycare about 2 months later, and she has been going there since March 2015, and she loves it.

 

We have not yet started our daycare (start monday), but your experience mirrors my coworkers and siblings that steered me toward in home when before I did not expect a positive view toward it.

[RockRaines]

Basically just work to pay for daycare.

And thats brutal.

 

Doing the financial comparison between my wife going back to teaching and just staying home is awful.

[ptatc]

My wife really wants the socialization aspect, and my cop cousin warned us off of home day care places (he gets lots of calls out to them for various issues). I think the couple of places we've checked out work out to about $6/hour.

We used two separate places that were excellent for daycare. No matter where you go it is expensive. The two biggest "raises" when you have kids is when they get out of diapers and when you are done with daycare.

[StrangeSox]

And thats brutal.

 

Doing the financial comparison between my wife going back to teaching and just staying home is awful.

 

yeah if we do decide to have two (which would be a absolute cap), we'll have to seriously consider whether it's worth it for my wife to keep working or to take a few years off until at least one is in regular school.

[Jenksismyhero]

Really though, even if it's a financial wash, she still may want to work. It all depends on your kids obviously, but mine are two very energetic boys. I'd burn out very quickly if I had to stay at home alone with them all day. My wife, I think, would be in a similar boat. And just getting out of the house and feeling productive may be a benefit, even if it's not really a contribution to the family financially.

 

Both of my kids are in daycare. My almost-5 year old is leaving to start real school in the fall. We'll go from paying about $325/week for him to $90 (before and after school care). My 11 month old still has a ways to go, but at least we've figured out how to manage 2 in daycare at a time, so if #3 happens we can handle it.

 

 

[southsider2k5]

Really though, even if it's a financial wash, she still may want to work. It all depends on your kids obviously, but mine are two very energetic boys. I'd burn out very quickly if I had to stay at home alone with them all day. My wife, I think, would be in a similar boat. And just getting out of the house and feeling productive may be a benefit, even if it's not really a contribution to the family financially.

 

Both of my kids are in daycare. My almost-5 year old is leaving to start real school in the fall. We'll go from paying about $325/week for him to $90 (before and after school care). My 11 month old still has a ways to go, but at least we've figured out how to manage 2 in daycare at a time, so if #3 happens we can handle it.

 

And even if the dollars are close to even, being out of the workforce for 5 years or more could also mean a loss of future earnings, and any potential advancements that could have happened during that time as well.

[bmags]

We had to seriously consider it but the killer part was largely even if we made up our fixed costs (housing/car/etc), I had no idea how I would make up the retirement/savings on my own. It was a huge hit.