Addison Russell drama

[ptatc]

Agreed. Also, the accusation is that he struck her in front of their children.

 

If anyone here holds adultery and violence against women on the same level, they need to recalibrate their morality.

My original comment wasn't that adultery was worse than domestic abuse. My response was to the comment that "no one cares about adultery." In my view that is still a sad comment on society. And more or less leads to much of the problems. Once someone loses respect for commitments and other people, the ball just starts rolling downhill.

[shipps]

It's not a crime. It's not particularly unnatural. I don't do it because many humans are predisposed to have single partners, but adultery is NOT a crime.

 

 

That is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I have read in this forum in some time. And I read greg's stuff.

 

 

Agreed. Also, the accusation is that he struck her in front of their children.

 

If anyone here holds adultery and violence against women on the same level, they need to recalibrate their morality.

 

Have you REALLY thought about this or are you just allowing your favorite TV/Radio personalities sway your thinking about this subject nowadays?

 

You are underestimating the damage and complete devastation that it can do to someone. Now every circumstance is different and there are different levels of physical abuse and many different dynamics to adultery. Some are worse than others and thats not what I am trying to debate. I just dont see for the life of me how you can just say "Aww get over it, we are all adults here" when someone gets cheated on by their spouse. Thats one of the most ridiculous thing i have read on here sometimes, mind you I dont read gregs stuff for the most part.

 

Imagine some woman walking in on her husband who she thought was dedicated to her for the rest of their lives, banging some girl in their living room. A man who she stuck with through hard times. A man she made sacrifices for. A man she loved. Shes an adult though, she needs to suck it up.

[shipps]

I guess I need to make it clear if I havent already that I am not trying to debate what is worse for someone to have to go through. Obviously both adultery and physical abuse are terrible but I cant see how people are able to get off so easily from society in our judgement of their character when they sleep around on their wife. Call me old school.

[ptatc]

Have you REALLY thought about this or are you just allowing your favorite TV/Radio personalities sway your thinking about this subject nowadays?

 

You are underestimating the damage and complete devastation that it can do to someone. Now every circumstance is different and there are different levels of physical abuse and many different dynamics to adultery. Some are worse than others and thats not what I am trying to debate. I just dont see for the life of me how you can just say "Aww get over it, we are all adults here" when someone gets cheated on by their spouse. Thats one of the most ridiculous thing i have read on here sometimes, mind you I dont read gregs stuff for the most part.

 

Imagine some woman walking in on her husband who she thought was dedicated to her for the rest of their lives, banging some girl in their living room. A man who she stuck with through hard times. A man she made sacrifices for. A man she loved. Shes an adult though, she needs to suck it up.

It's tough for some people to understand that sometimes the mental and emotional trauma is worse than physical trauma. It's not always the case but the mental part of healing sometimes takes longer.

 

Even in a simple case in sports. I can't tell you how many times I've worked with a professional athlete who had an ACL tear for their first significant injury and was terrified to go back on the field. They don't show it outward but you can see the tentativeness in their movements. This is why you see some athletes take much longer to return to play than others. it's not that they aren't physically ready. it's that they will do more damage to themselves if they are too tentative on the field. They need to overcome the mental trauma of the issue.

 

I'm not saying that this scenario equates to the domestic issues. But it's just an example for those who haven't experienced the issues of severe mental/emotional vs. physical trauma.

[caulfield12]

Then there are many women who would rather have their husband cheat physically than have a psychological affair where the man really falls in love with another woman and shares every bit of himself...whereas he might have been closed off with his wife for a long period of time.

 

That's yet another form of betrayal than can be even more impactful. Granted, lots of women in Thailand will try to cut off the man's you know what if they even suspect him of cheating...that type of jealousy is often common here in Asia.

[ptatc]

Then there are many women who would rather have their husband cheat physically than have a psychological affair where the man really falls in love with another woman and shares every bit of himself...whereas he might have been closed off with his wife for a long period of time.

 

That's yet another form of betrayal than can be even more impactful. Granted, lots of women in Thailand will try to cut off the man's you know what if they even suspect him of cheating...that type of jealousy is often common here in Asia.

you've convinced me not to go there.

[Bananarchy]

Have you REALLY thought about this or are you just allowing your favorite TV/Radio personalities sway your thinking about this subject nowadays?

 

You are underestimating the damage and complete devastation that it can do to someone. Now every circumstance is different and there are different levels of physical abuse and many different dynamics to adultery. Some are worse than others and thats not what I am trying to debate. I just dont see for the life of me how you can just say "Aww get over it, we are all adults here" when someone gets cheated on by their spouse. Thats one of the most ridiculous thing i have read on here sometimes, mind you I dont read gregs stuff for the most part.

 

Imagine some woman walking in on her husband who she thought was dedicated to her for the rest of their lives, banging some girl in their living room. A man who she stuck with through hard times. A man she made sacrifices for. A man she loved. Shes an adult though, she needs to suck it up.

The effects of domestic violence are far, far worse. Countless spouses are victims of domestic violence and feel powerless to do anything about it. Fear of physical harm is far greater than the heartbreak of adultery, to the point where victims of domestic violence try to cover up wounds, make excuses for abusive fathers, or are driven to suicide or worse.

 

Turn off MLB.TV and read about these issues. Adultery is terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to physically abuse.

Edited June 9, 2017 by Sox-35th

[Swingandalongonetoleft]

Adultery is terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to physically abuse.

Adultery/Getting cheated on hurts. A lot. I agree, however, that it's not something that can be made a crime like physical abuse. Personally, though, I would rather catch 10,000 high heels to the face/endure physical pain than relive that awful feeling.

[shipps]

The effects of domestic violence are far, far worse. Countless spouses are victims of domestic violence and feel powerless to do anything about it. Fear of physical harm is far greater than the heartbreak of adultery, to the point where victims of domestic violence try to cover up wounds, make excuses for abusive fathers, or are driven to suicide or worse.

 

Turn off MLB.TV and read about these issues. Adultery is terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to physically abuse.

 

That's your opinion. Unless you can provide some evidence that proves this to be true other than stating that it is just because it is I will continue to be open to the idea that its ALL bad and that adultery can actually result in all of the above that you stated in physical abuse. I understand the effects of physical abuse but all those things can happen with a cheating spouse/parent as well. I have friends who have had a cheating father that cant get past it 20 years after it happened. In your world they should grow up because its not the popular concern of our society. Adults sleep around right? Reality is that it f***s people up man. It has an effect on their romantic relationships and their relations ships with their family. Its all bad.

[Bananarchy]

That's your opinion. Unless you can provide some evidence that proves this to be true other than stating that it is just because it is I will continue to be open to the idea that its ALL bad and that adultery can actually result in all of the above that you stated in physical abuse. I understand the effects of physical abuse but all those things can happen with a cheating spouse/parent as well. I have friends who have had a cheating father that cant get past it 20 years after it happened. In your world they should grow up because its not the popular concern of our society. Adults sleep around right? Reality is that it f***s people up man. It has an effect on their romantic relationships and their relations ships with their family. Its all bad.

It's not particularly debatable. No one concedes that cheating is somehow more damaging than physical violence.

 

You're way out of your league on this.

[shipps]

It's not particularly debatable. No one concedes that cheating is somehow more damaging than physical violence.

 

You're way out of your league on this.

 

I will wait then. You don't have evidence but this is somehow your league?

 

 

[ptatc]

The effects of domestic violence are far, far worse. Countless spouses are victims of domestic violence and feel powerless to do anything about it. Fear of physical harm is far greater than the heartbreak of adultery, to the point where victims of domestic violence try to cover up wounds, make excuses for abusive fathers, or are driven to suicide or worse.

 

Turn off MLB.TV and read about these issues. Adultery is terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to physically abuse.

This is the point you are missing. It's not heartbreak. It's the total lack of trust and respect for another person that is the issue. Once someone has made a commitment to another person they place total trust in them. Once this has been broken, the ability to gain respect and trust in other people can be difficult to ever attain again. This can be more devastating than any physical abuse delivered to a person.

 

You see this all the time in domestic abuse situation and why it's not reported as often as it should. The spouse rationalizes that "he hit me because I did something wrong and he still loves me." They rationalize it because the psychological damage of the spouse leaving and breaking the trust between them would be worse.

[shipps]

This is the point you are missing. It's not heartbreak. It's the total lack of trust and respect for another person that is the issue. Once someone has made a commitment to another person they place total trust in them. Once this has been broken, the ability to gain respect and trust in other people can be difficult to ever attain again. This can be more devastating than any physical abuse delivered to a person.

 

You see this all the time in domestic abuse situation and why it's not reported as often as it should. The spouse rationalizes that "he hit me because I did something wrong and he still loves me." They rationalize it because the psychological damage of the spouse leaving and breaking the trust between them would be worse.

 

Just stop ptatc, we are out of our league on this. Let him, the expert, explain to us how its not even debatable...no one has even attempted to debate it in fact because its so silly.

[ptatc]

Just stop ptatc, we are out of our league on this. Let him, the expert, explain to us how its not even debatable...no one has even attempted to debate it in fact because its so silly.

On bended knee, I concede.

[Bananarchy]

Just stop ptatc, we are out of our league on this. Let him, the expert, explain to us how its not even debatable...no one has even attempted to debate it in fact because its so silly.

At least you recognize it. Good for you.

 

There are people in my life who are ongoing victims of domestic abuse. There are people in my life that are victims of adultery. Adultery is awful. Adultery wounds run deep.

 

I have a person in my life who lives with a man who abuses her. She is a shell of what she was. Her husband has stolen a piece of her and her children and she is essentially unable to continue.

 

Your opinions on this make two things obvious: You have no idea what you are talking about and our education system has failed to teach you the damage caused by physical violence.

 

The story is the domestic violence. The adultery is a compounding variable, but it's the violence that is the problem.

Edited June 10, 2017 by Sox-35th

[ptatc]

At least you recognize it. Good for you.

 

There are people in my life who are ongoing victims of domestic abuse. There are people in my life that are victims of adultery. Adultery is awful. Adultery wounds run deep.

 

I have a person in my life who lives with a man who abuses her. She is a shell of what she was. Her husband has stolen a piece of her and her children and she is essentially unable to continue.

 

Your opinions on this make two things obvious: You have no idea what you are talking about and our education system has failed to teach you the damage caused by physical violence.

 

The story is the domestic violence. The adultery is a compounding variable, but it's the violence that is the problem.

I would say it's the opposite. You are using an instance which is horrible, which they all are, and applying it to all situations and all people. Everyone will deal with these situations differently. You cannot take one or a few examples and apply it to everyone and all situations. People are different.

 

However, I go back to my original point. The comment of "no one cares about adultery" is a really sad comment on society. both are really stemming from the same problem, lack of respect for another human being, just acted upon differently.

[iamshack]

I would say it's the opposite. You are using an instance which is horrible, which they all are, and applying it to all situations and all people. Everyone will deal with these situations differently. You cannot take one or a few examples and apply it to everyone and all situations. People are different.

 

However, I go back to my original point. The comment of "no one cares about adultery" is a really sad comment on society. both are really stemming from the same problem, lack of respect for another human being, just acted upon differently.

+1

[Middle Buffalo]

For the sake of this argument, let's say Addison Russell cheated one time and never again and got someone pregnant. He apologized, and they agreed to work on their relationship and stay together.

 

Let's also say he lost his temper and hit his wife one time in front of his kids and never again. He apologized, and they agreed to work on their relationship and stay together.

 

Which event would weigh more heavily on his wife's mind over the next 18 years? My guess is that the constant reminder that your spouse is a cheater is pretty hard to move on from, especially when there is an out of wedlock child and your spouse travels regularly as part of his job.

 

i agree that constant physical abuse is probably more damaging, but I don't know that the other situation should be dismissed because it really depends on the circumstances and individuals involved. In either case, my hope is that the abused person finds the strength to get away from the bad situation.

 

Also, since it's just an allegation, it's probably not fair to speculate about the abuse in regard to Addison Russell.

[shipps]

At least you recognize it. Good for you.

 

There are people in my life who are ongoing victims of domestic abuse. There are people in my life that are victims of adultery. Adultery is awful. Adultery wounds run deep.

 

I have a person in my life who lives with a man who abuses her. She is a shell of what she was. Her husband has stolen a piece of her and her children and she is essentially unable to continue.

 

Your opinions on this make two things obvious: You have no idea what you are talking about and our education system has failed to teach you the damage caused by physical violence.

 

The story is the domestic violence. The adultery is a compounding variable, but it's the violence that is the problem.

 

You are clearly stating your opinion as fact based on anecdotal evidence. The education system that taught me showed me not to draw conclusions in the manner that you have formed yours. Unless you have actually researched or performed the scientific method yourself that could support your findings? I am sure there are many studies on all of this and maybe I will delve into them but its not priority on my list right now. I do see that there is at least one scientific study that found that emotional trauma has the exact same reaction in the brain as physical trauma. Interesting but that's only one study.

 

I am not trying to argue with you which is worse. You keep on trying to do that because that's what you do. Most of us have people in our lives that have been effected by both of these issues but not many that would claim to be experts such as yourself.

[Bananarchy]

You are clearly stating your opinion as fact based on anecdotal evidence. The education system that taught me showed me not to draw conclusions in the manner that you have formed yours. Unless you have actually researched or performed the scientific method yourself that could support your findings? I am sure there are many studies on all of this and maybe I will delve into them but its not priority on my list right now. I do see that there is at least one scientific study that found that emotional trauma has the exact same reaction in the brain as physical trauma. Interesting but that's only one study.

 

I am not trying to argue with you which is worse. You keep on trying to do that because that's what you do. Most of us have people in our lives that have been effected by both of these issues but not many that would claim to be experts such as yourself.

I just don't get how an entire board of adults can be so uneducated on the effects of domestic violence. My only hope is that you and your fellow posters are simply the outspoken minority. I hope to god more people here are just smarter because you are a scathing indictment on the education level of men in today's society.

Edited June 13, 2017 by Sox-35th

[Kyyle23]

I just don't get how an entire board of adults can be so uneducated on the effects of domestic violence. My only hope is that you and your fellow posters are simply the outspoken minority. I hope to god more people here are just smarter because you are a scathing indictment on the education level of men in today's society.

 

You need to stop calling people uneducated because you disagree with them. This is the first and last warning

[ptatc]

I just don't get how an entire board of adults can be so uneducated on the effects of domestic violence. My only hope is that you and your fellow posters are simply the outspoken minority. I hope to god more people here are just smarter because you are a scathing indictment on the education level of men in today's society.

On the contrary, I am a mandatory reporter in the state of Illinois. I have been to numerous courses on the topic. However, I also have the same for psychological and emotional abuse as well, something I have a feeling you do not.

[greg775]

Most will be happy to know I have read the thread and will not comment on the topic. I'm no expert so I'm not gonna go there.

[southsider2k5]

Bye, bye investigation.

 

Bob Nightengale‏Verified account @BNightengale 2m2 minutes ago Addison Russell's wife says she won't speak with MLB investigators. #Cubs