Is infidelity ‘natural’ for men?

[GASHWOUND]

Since it's been so slow I thought i bring something to talk about

I thought this was an interesting article...I have never cheated while in a relationship, but haven't been in many...But I have been tempted, but have never actually gone through with it..

 

I remember I told that story on these boards months ago about a girl I met at Stardust and she was kinda hittin on me...But I was still involved..That was the only situation where I was so close on going for it, but I have to much conscious and really ain't that kind of guy...I'm kinda shy really

 

Has anybody on here actually cheated on a spouse(girlfriend, wife, husband)???

And what was your motivation?

 

http://stacks.msnbc.com/news/946836.asp

[whitesoxfan99]

I haven't really been in very many relationships either. In fact I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to dating. But no I have never cheated on in any of my very few relationships.

[Chisoxfn]

I'm pretty futile as well. But in the relationships I've had I've never cheated, never was tempted either.

 

Sure I'd look at other girls and awe at them, but when I'm with a girl I ain't gonna cheat on her. Of cousre I've never been married an in a situation where things are just going horrible with that person and your hammered and a fine fine girl comes up to ya.

 

Don't know what would happen in that situation, but I'm still pretty comfortable saying I don't think I'd cheat.

 

If I wanted to cheat, then its cause I just ain't happy with the girl I'm with, so in that case I'd probably break up with her cause it just ain't working.

 

But i'm pretty damn picky

[Bmr31]

Since it's been so slow I thought i bring something to talk about  

I thought this was an interesting article...I have never cheated while in a relationship, but haven't been in many...But I have been tempted, but have never actually gone through with it..

 

I remember I told that story on these boards months ago about a girl I met at Stardust and she was kinda hittin on me...But I was still involved..That was the only situation where I was so close on going for it, but I have to much conscious and really ain't that kind of guy...I'm kinda shy really

 

Has anybody on here actually cheated on a spouse(girlfriend, wife, husband)???

And what was your motivation?

 

http://stacks.msnbc.com/news/946836.asp

No. Its natural in weak people.

[Rex Kickass]

I'm sorry I missed the first part of this conversation... was having lots of sex with different people. Could someone clue me in?

[The Critic]

Never cheated on anyone.

Looking at people is natural.

Being tempted is even natural.

Acting on it is weak and deceitful.

[Steff]

Never cheated on anyone.

Looking at people is natural.

Being tempted is even natural.

Acting on it is weak and deceitful.

That pretty much sums it up.

[Wong & Owens]

Males are not biologically "wired" for monogamy. Every guy who's married, in a relationship, dating whatever has fantasized about f***ing other women, and if they say they haven't they're lying(kind of like the masturbation question). However, thinking/fantasizing about doing it is one thing, acting on it is another. Some people are better than others at controlling their natural urges, otherwise the divorce rate would be even higher than it already is.

[southsider2k5]

MUST PROCREATE, NEED WOMAN....

[Yossarian]

Males are not biologically "wired" for monogamy.  Every guy who's married, in a relationship, dating whatever has fantasized about f***ing other women, and if they say they haven't they're lying(kind of like the masturbation question).  However, thinking/fantasizing about doing it is one thing, acting on it is another.  Some people are better than others at controlling their natural urges, otherwise the divorce rate would be even higher than it already is.

I believe your post comes closest to the truth. I also remember reading somewhere that "men are as faithful as their options." I guess that is why so many athletes, movie stars, rock stars, etc. have their little harems. It's not so hard for a common working stiff like me to stay faithful to my wife. Real tempations are few and far between. I will say this. There's no quicker way to ruin your marriage than to go out and have that affair. Monogamy is definitely the best policy.

[Steff]

I believe your post comes closest to the truth. I also remember reading somewhere that "men are as faithful as their options." I guess that is why so many athletes, movie stars, rock stars, etc.  have their little harems.

That is such bulls***!

 

If a man cheats because "he's surrounded by women".. then he is a pathetic looser.

 

You stay faithful because your relationship means something to you. No matter who you are around.

[RibbieRubarb]

"You want monogamy? Marry a swan." - Robert Loggia "Jagged Edge"

 

Seriuosly though, I agree Steff.

 

I have been married for 5 years and any man who cheats is weak and pathetic.

Temptation is natural, you just don't act on it. It's common sense.

 

But then again I just may be

[Yossarian]

That is such bulls***!

 

If a man cheats because "he's surrounded by women".. then he is a pathetic looser.

 

You stay faithful because your relationship means something to you. No matter who you are around.

Ouch! Perhaps I did not make myself clear. I don't think most men are particularly monogamous by nature. If I'm wrong sorry, but that's the way I see it. More than a few times I've observed a married or taken man get embarrasingly weak when showered with attention by another woman. It stands to reason that in our celebrity driven culture that the men I mentioned in my previous post were going to have many more opportunities to stray than a shmo like yours truly. It seems painfully obvious that many of these athletes, rock stars, etc get weak in the face of all this temptation. I believe that a lot of average joes would act in the same manner if they had the chance to live that lifestyle. That's all I was trying to say. Sorry if I hit your tripwire, but this is what my life experience has taught me.

[Steff]

That is such bulls***!

 

If a man cheats because "he's surrounded by women".. then he is a pathetic looser.

 

You stay faithful because your relationship means something to you. No matter who you are around.

Ouch! Perhaps I did not make myself clear. I don't think most men are particularly monogamous by nature. If I'm wrong sorry, but that's the way I see it. More than a few times I've observed a married or taken man get embarrasingly weak when showered with attention by another woman. It stands to reason that in our celebrity driven culture that the men I mentioned in my previous post were going to have many more opportunities to stray than a shmo like yours truly. It seems painfully obvious that many of these athletes, rock stars, etc get weak in the face of all this temptation. I believe that a lot of average joes would act in the same manner if they had the chance to live that lifestyle. That's all I was trying to say. Sorry if I hit your tripwire, but this is what my life experience has taught me.

Sounded like you were "excusing" cheating because of who a man is and who he has around. That's the bulls*** I was referring to.

I know plenty of athletes who aren't total loosers that don't cheat on their wives. And yes, I know those that do. And have called them looser to their faces as well.

[The Critic]

That is such bulls***!

 

If a man cheats because "he's surrounded by women".. then he is a pathetic looser.

 

You stay faithful because your relationship means something to you. No matter who you are around.

TRUTH.

Fact of the matter is, if you were in your relationship for any length of time, there would probably have been a situation where you could have cheated or gotten out BEFORE it got too serious.

If you didn't then, there is NO excuse for cheating later.

The "number of opportunities" theory is a LAME excuse - "OH, they WORE ME DOWN!!! SO MANY WOMEN HEAPING THEMSELVES ON ME.... I could refuse until the 243rd woman, but a man can only take SO MUCH...."

Please.

[SuperSteve]

Sorry to say, maybe I am weak and pathetic. I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved. You go on one date with girls now adays, and they think you are married. That's a little much for me personally. It is different with ages too. I am 18 and not looking for marriage. When you get older, I think cheating becomes less abundent.

[Steff]

That is such bulls***!

 

If a man cheats because "he's surrounded by women".. then he is a pathetic looser.

 

You stay faithful because your relationship means something to you. No matter who you are around.

TRUTH.

Fact of the matter is, if you were in your relationship for any length of time, there would probably have been a situation where you could have cheated or gotten out BEFORE it got too serious.

If you didn't then, there is NO excuse for cheating later.

The "number of opportunities" theory is a LAME excuse - "OH, they WORE ME DOWN!!! SO MANY WOMEN HEAPING THEMSELVES ON ME.... I could refuse until the 243rd woman, but a man can only take SO MUCH...."

Please.

This is absolutely true!

 

You make a decision to cheat, or not to cheat. It really IS that simple.

[Steff]

Sorry to say, maybe I am weak and pathetic. I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved. You go on one date with girls now adays, and they think you are married. That's a little much for me personally. It is different with ages too. I am 18 and not looking for marriage. When you get older, I think cheating becomes less abundent.

Steve...

 

Everyone is different and experiences are never the same. What you just posted here I would bet is how a lot of 18 year old - males and females - view relationships. How many people really do you find their "soulmate" at 18..?

 

And I think what you said here:

 

"I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved."

 

Sets the tone. If you don't care about the relationship.. how can you be committed to it?

 

No worries.. I don't think you're a loser

[SuperSteve]

Steve...

 

Everyone is different and experiences are never the same. What you just posted here I would bet is how a lot of 18 year old - males and females - view relationships. How many people really do you find their "soulmate" at 18..?

 

And I think what you said here:

 

"I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved."

 

Sets the tone. If you don't care about the relationship.. how can you be committed to it?

 

No worries.. I don't think you're a loser 

I am honest though. How many people on her probably said 'oh no I'd never cheat,' even though they have done it.

[The Critic]

Steve...

 

Everyone is different and experiences are never the same. What you just posted here I would bet is how a lot of 18 year old - males and females - view relationships. How many people really do you find their "soulmate" at 18..?

 

And I think what you said here:

 

"I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved."

 

Sets the tone. If you don't care about the relationship.. how can you be committed to it?

 

No worries.. I don't think you're a loser 

I am honest though. How many people on her probably said 'oh no I'd never cheat,' even though they have done it.

Being single and 18 is an ENTIRELY different situation, and not one I really was addressing.

In my opinion, NO 18-year-old should be in an exclusive relationship. I don't think you've experienced enough in life to limit your possibilities.

 

But once you're committed ( even if the other person is committed and BELIEVES that you are ), then you have to think before you act. If you don't, then you are a selfish pig.

 

I hate to sound holier-than-thou, but I really feel strongly about that.

I was cheated on once, and I remember that feeling too well.

[Wong & Owens]

Steve...

 

Everyone is different and experiences are never the same. What you just posted here I would bet is how a lot of 18 year old - males and females - view relationships. How many people really do you find their "soulmate" at 18..?

 

And I think what you said here:

 

"I have cheated before in relationships which did not mean a great deal to me. Those relationships never lasted longer than a few months or so. It is different with someone who you truely care about. I would never cheat on someone who I truely loved."

 

Sets the tone. If you don't care about the relationship.. how can you be committed to it?

 

No worries.. I don't think you're a loser 

I am honest though. How many people on her probably said 'oh no I'd never cheat,' even though they have done it.

Being single and 18 is an ENTIRELY different situation, and not one I really was addressing.

In my opinion, NO 18-year-old should be in an exclusive relationship. I don't think you've experienced enough in life to limit your possibilities.

 

But once you're committed ( even if the other person is committed and BELIEVES that you are ), then you have to think before you act. If you don't, then you are a selfish pig.

 

I hate to sound holier-than-thou, but I really feel strongly about that.

I was cheated on once, and I remember that feeling too well.

I agree 100%. If I had an 18-yr old kid, I would STRONGLY advise him/her to not get tied to one person that young.

 

I also agree that you make a choice to cheat, and that is a selfish thing to do, but this isn't like a choice to not steal or not kill. An animal's innate compulsions are eating, self-defense, and procreation. You can force yourself to not eat, or to just sit there and do nothing if someone attacks you, but both are very difficult to do for any long period of time. If you take, say, a pro athlete, and put him in a situation where he is constantly bombarded by feasible procreation partners, fighting that urge is almost as hard. Especially when society still somewhat expects you to fight that urge for your entire life, which is now 76 years or so, as opposed to when it was 35 years. I am in an exclusive relationship, and I do not cheat. I do this out of love and respect for my girlfriend, but if she ever said to me, "Honey, I no longer need to be sexually exclusive, go out and screw whomever you want," would I take it? Absolutely. And so would every male not beholden to some religious code of ethics.

 

Why is sexual exclusivity so important? Wasn't the concept drawn up years ago by religious leaders, most of whom didn't adhere to it anyways? Is there some reason, other than the shame and discomfort doled out by brow-beating religious folk, that this arrangement even exists? Does it hold any advantegs for humanity as a whole? Just more topics up for debate. This is one of my favorite subjects to argue/discuss.

[Steff]

Why is sexual exclusivity so important?  Wasn't the concept drawn up years ago by religious leaders, most of whom didn't adhere to it anyways?  Is there some reason, other than the shame and discomfort doled out by brow-beating religious folk, that this arrangement even exists?  Does it hold any advantegs for humanity as a whole?  Just more topics up for debate.  This is one of my favorite subjects to argue/discuss.

AIDS, other STD's, unwanted pregnancy.....

[Soxplosion]

Im kinda pathetic too when it comes to dating. Tons of girls like me and are my friend, but they all have boyfriends so Im the guy they run to for help. Not bad I guess. But in the relationships Ive been in, Ive never cheated...

[Bmr31]

AIDS, other STD's, unwanted pregnancy.....

Not to mention if you cant be failthful you shouldnt be in a relationship anyway.

[Wong & Owens]

AIDS, other STD's, unwanted pregnancy.....

AIDS, other STD's and pregnancy can all be avoided for the most part by using some common sense and some discretion. Yes, using all forms of contraception/protection still carries a small level of risk, but so does driving a car. Anyways, the reason most people do not cheat has little to do with the risk of STD's or pregnancy.