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Is infidelity ‘natural’ for men?


GASHWOUND

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Not to mention if you cant be failthful you shouldnt be in a relationship anyway.

Well.. ya know different strokes for different folks. I don't condem anyone for their actions when they don't effect me. Besides.. karma works in mysterious ways.

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Why is sexual exclusivity so important?

For me, sexual ( or romantic, non-sexual ) exclusivity is a matter of trust.

In my mind, intimacy is the most personal thing you can give to someone, and if I vow to share that only with my wife, and she vows the same, it becomes a key component of our relationship.

 

If either of us could break that vow, that throws the entire matter of trust into doubt, and I couldn't live that way. As things are, I have complete and unwavering trust in my wife, and she in me. We each know that we would never hurt each other in any way. If one of us were to betray that, the relationship could NEVER be the same. You can forgive ( or TRY to ) but you can NEVER forget. You'd wonder just a little every time one of you went out without the other. If it happened once, it can happen at any time.

 

The emotional part is as important as the physical, at least in my mind.

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The emotional part is as important as the physical, at least in my mind.

I think the emotional part is more important that the sexual. Keep in mind I do not have the wisdom that many of you guys have, but ALL the girls I have ever really cared about, our relationships were not based on the physical. Often times the sexual stuff wasn't even brought up in common conversation. Girls who the relationship is physical from the beginning, never last, and almost always blow up into some problems I do not need, nor want.

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Ya know, with the talk about physical relationships not lasting long, I have a situation and Id like to know what you guys think.

 

OK, I have two friends, well call em Joe and Jane. Ive been friends with Jane since ninth grade and real tight friends with Joe since the end of last school year. I told Joe about Jane and he laughed at me cuz she was chubby (which wasnt true anyways). Then I had Jane over for dinner one night and Joe came along. He now thinks Jane is hot and eventually (after some disgusting PDAs) they start dating. I always kinda liked Jane (altho Ive known for a long time were nothing more than friends) and honest to God never thought she was ugly. I liked her for who she was. And now Joe and I have gotten into a fight. Were not friends anymore but Joe and Jane are still "dating". Should I reveal Joes previous feelings to Jane or would that just be mean, regardless of whether he is my friend or not?

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Ya know, with the talk about physical relationships not lasting long, I have a situation and Id like to know what you guys think.

 

OK, I have two friends, well call em Joe and Jane. Ive been friends with Jane since ninth grade and real tight friends with Joe since the end of last school year. I told Joe about Jane and he laughed at me cuz she was chubby (which wasnt true anyways). Then I had Jane over for dinner one night and Joe came along. He now thinks Jane is hot and eventually (after some disgusting PDAs) they start dating. I always kinda liked Jane (altho Ive known for a long time were nothing more than friends) and honest to God never thought she was ugly. I liked her for who she was. And now Joe and I have gotten into a fight. Were not friends anymore but Joe and Jane are still "dating". Should I reveal Joes previous feelings to Jane or would that just be mean, regardless of whether he is my friend or not?

ABSOLUTELY not. What he said was mean but it was in the past and people shouldnt have to be punished for something they said and may regret, ESPECIALLY from a friend....... :nono

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But hes no longer a friend. If he was still my friend, I would never say such a thing. But since hes not, why not? Actually, it might be fun to watch it unfold and collapse like SuperSteve says all such relationships do...

Well then think of her, it will hurt her feelings and obviously he has changed his mind............. :nono :nono

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Well then think of her, it will hurt her feelings and obviously he has changed his mind............. :nono  :nono

Once she finds out how superficial this relationship is, shell be hurt anyways. Even tho she chose that piece of s*** Joe over me, I still care for Jane. I dont wanna see her have to deal with this but its too late now. Hopefully shell never find out and this relationship will end some other way...

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Once she finds out how superficial this relationship is, shell be hurt anyways. Even tho she chose that piece of s*** Joe over me, I still care for Jane. I dont wanna see her have to deal with this but its too late now. Hopefully shell never find out and this relationship will end some other way...

Don't say a damn thing. Trust me. This stuff blows up. No matter what you say, and how true it is, she will say your just jealous and trying to break them up. Sometimes you just need to move on. It sucks ass, I have a problem where I have to move on cause I am at school now, so far from home. You should still try to be friends with them, atleast her. If I remember correctly, you're not that old. The relationship won't last through HS, so stay friends with her cause ya never know where that will lead.

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Well like I said, she says shes just my friend and she doesnt seem like shell budge on that. I think this relationship with Joe will soon blow up but Im not gonna be Joes successor, thats Gods honest truth. Jane and I may be friends but really I feel no connection with her. There are some girls I love talking to, I call em just to hear them talk, thats how nice and caring they are. And even tho Janes a wild one whos probably on ritalin, I have no real desire to talk to her. Were slowly drifting apart. Shes friends with my sister tho so Ill probably see a lot of her but not by choice. I still care for her deep down but I just have no real connection with her. Its sad, but Im making new friends and shes stuck in a false relationship with Joe, who I despise more and more by the day. Ill feel sorry for them both really...

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Don't say a damn thing. Trust me. This stuff blows up. No matter what you say, and how true it is, she will say your just jealous and trying to break them up. Sometimes you just need to move on. It sucks ass, I have a problem where I have to move on cause I am at school now, so far from home. You should still try to be friends with them, atleast her. If I remember correctly, you're not that old. The relationship won't last through HS, so stay friends with her cause ya never know where that will lead.

Oh yeah, and Im 16. So good nite for now guys, thanks for the advice... :headbang

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Well like I said, she says shes just my friend and she doesnt seem like shell budge on that. I think this relationship with Joe will soon blow up but Im not gonna be Joes successor, thats Gods honest truth. Jane and I may be friends but really I feel no connection with her. There are some girls I love talking to, I call em just to hear them talk, thats how nice and caring they are. And even tho Janes a wild one whos probably on ritalin, I have no real desire to talk to her. Were slowly drifting apart. Shes friends with my sister tho so Ill probably see a lot of her but not by choice. I still care for her deep down but I just have no real connection with her. Its sad, but Im making new friends and shes stuck in a false relationship with Joe, who I despise more and more by the day. Ill feel sorry for them both really...

Why ya despise Joe some much. I see what you are saying with talking to her. Ya say in one of the posts she got thin (he wouldn't like her if she got chubby again or something like that). I think she is just looking to fit in. She may have felt a lil less than attractive than before, and now she gets attention from a guy and she jumps at the chance. Keep making new friends, that'll really help in the long run. Are ya looking for a relationship, not nessecarily just with her?

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Ya know, with the talk about physical relationships not lasting long, I have a situation and Id like to know what you guys think.

 

OK, I have two friends, well call em Joe and Jane. Ive been friends with Jane since ninth grade and real tight friends with Joe since the end of last school year. I told Joe about Jane and he laughed at me cuz she was chubby (which wasnt true anyways). Then I had Jane over for dinner one night and Joe came along. He now thinks Jane is hot and eventually (after some disgusting PDAs) they start dating. I always kinda liked Jane (altho Ive known for a long time were nothing more than friends) and honest to God never thought she was ugly. I liked her for who she was. And now Joe and I have gotten into a fight. Were not friends anymore but Joe and Jane are still "dating". Should I reveal Joes previous feelings to Jane or would that just be mean, regardless of whether he is my friend or not?

Karma......

 

It'll come back to haunt you. Don't say a word.. :nono

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Adultery has been around forever, and has always given us something to talk about. Most reality TV shows these days center on it, as do gossip mags. But we are far from cracking the big mystery: Why do some men cheat in relationships?

All men know, at some level, that cheating is wrong. From the earliest age, we are taught the virtues of monogamy. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," bellows our Judeo-Christian consciousness. Yet we still do it.

 

blame it on the genes

 

 

 

In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another zip code, it doesn't count.

 

And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity.

 

Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options. Here are the 10 main reasons why some men will opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners.

 

 

Number 10

 

 

 

Your lady doesn't put out

Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

 

Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This, "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

 

In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.

 

 

Number 9

 

 

 

She cheated on you

So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency.

 

 

Number 8

 

 

 

It's challenging and exciting

If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavors for one day after years of sticking to just one.

 

 

Number 7

 

 

 

You can get away with it

"What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting, not to mention boosting their network of spies.

 

 

Number 6

 

 

 

It boosts your ego

Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not.

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Number 5

 

 

 

The opportunity was there

It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe diem, as they say.

 

 

Number 4

 

 

 

Your girlfriend is a nag

Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin.

 

 

Number 3

 

 

 

Women let us

Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton.

 

 

Number 2

 

 

 

She doesn't turn you on anymore

Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women.

 

 

Number 1

 

 

 

You don't love her anymore

Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup.

 

your cheating heart

 

 

 

In the end, cheating is no joking matter. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife, it might be that you are unhappy in the relationship, or that you have issues that you should address. Look at the big picture and see your unfaithfulness as a symptom of a bigger problem.

 

Cheating might feel good as a quick escape from your problems, but it's only an anesthetic -- not a long-term solution.

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Guest hotsoxchick1
Once she finds out how superficial this relationship is, shell be hurt anyways. Even tho she chose that piece of s*** Joe over me, I still care for Jane. I dont wanna see her have to deal with this but its too late now. Hopefully shell never find out and this relationship will end some other way...

you answered your own question right there roman, with the superficial relationship comment... if shes head over heals about this joe and he doesnt feel the same then tell her.....she is your friend afterall.....it wont ruin your karma any because its the truth....... ;) karma only gets f***ed up when you lie.....

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...if shes head over heals about this joe and he doesnt feel the same then tell her...

Are you crazy? If she is head over heals for him, she will not see it. She will only say you are trying to break them up. Obviously the best thing to do is to tell her, but it has consequences. You can not say anything, and just keep that inside aslong as you two are friends, or tell her. If she hates you for it, ya did the right thing. It's up to ya man.

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Guest hotsoxchick1
Are you crazy? If she is head over heals for him, she will not see it. She will only say you are trying to break them up. Obviously the best thing to do is to tell her, but it has consequences. You can not say anything, and just keep that inside aslong as you two are friends, or tell her. If she hates you for it, ya did the right thing. It's up to ya man.

if they are good enough friends then she will listen.. honesty is the best policy......

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