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The Sexual Assault problem


Brian

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QUOTE (TheTruth05 @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 02:30 PM)
Feel bad for the women that go through this s***, like what are they supposed to do at the moment? Glad these scumbags are being exposed at least. Hopefully we never see them winning awards and being media darlings again.

Now as long as the guy is whipping it out, they should whip out their phones and take pictures and post them or show them to the proper people.

 

If you are in private, is it considered legal?

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QUOTE (Dick Allen @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 02:32 PM)
Now as long as the guy is whipping it out, they should whip out their phones and take pictures and post them or show them to the proper people.

 

If you are in private, is it considered legal?

 

 

They are probably terrified the person will act violently.

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QUOTE (Dick Allen @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 02:32 PM)
Now as long as the guy is whipping it out, they should whip out their phones and take pictures and post them or show them to the proper people.

 

If you are in private, is it considered legal?

 

Then you get busted by the new revenge porn laws.

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QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 02:57 PM)
That, or completely crush their career. Especially if you're a woman in comedy trying to make an accusation against a big name.

 

At their base, that is what all of these scandals have in common. People in positions of power abusing those positions to feed their sexual appetites, then using that power to bury any threats that come out of those activities. Meanwhile people who view their circle as being more important than anything else they talk about (equal rights or God as the case may be, etc) use it as an opportunity to beholden themselves to the original offender(s) by finding ridiculous excuses to defend said behavior.

 

While the offenders are absolutely horrible people, the secondary group that sells out everything to defend the offenders is almost worse because they have absolutely no spine at all.

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can we somehow have a bot that just posts these because it seems like there's going to be a lot?

 

‘Mad Men’ Creator Matthew Weiner Accused of Sexual Harassment by Writer Kater Gordon

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/11/matthew-w...men-1201895936/

 

In an interview with The Information, Gordon says she was harassed by Weiner late one night when he allegedly said to her that she owed it to him to let him see her naked. She says she “froze and tried to brush [the comments] off” by continuing to work with Weiner that evening in the office. Gordon believed it was “lose-lose situation,” as confronting Weiner would “end her career” and not confronting him would “make it impossible to work with him.”

 

Gordon says she shared what Weiner told her to a number of confidants over the years, several of which confirmed the allegation to The Information. The writer has not worked in television since leaving “Mad Men” and is currently forming a nonprofit to help victims of sexual harassment called Modern Alliance. Weiner is currently developing the Amazon drama series “The Romanoffs.”
Edited by StrangeSox
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QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 04:18 PM)
At their base, that is what all of these scandals have in common. People in positions of power abusing those positions to feed their sexual appetites, then using that power to bury any threats that come out of those activities. Meanwhile people who view their circle as being more important than anything else they talk about (equal rights or God as the case may be, etc) use it as an opportunity to beholden themselves to the original offender(s) by finding ridiculous excuses to defend said behavior.

 

While the offenders are absolutely horrible people, the secondary group that sells out everything to defend the offenders is almost worse because they have absolutely no spine at all.

 

You know there are a ton of people that publicly praised these sickos knowing full well what they were doing because it benefited careers.

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QUOTE (JenksIsMyHero @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 04:40 PM)
One concern I have is that this stuff is all getting lumped together. Hoffman's dirty old man antics with a young girl is vastly different than Weinstein/Spacey rape/assault behavior.

 

Well this seems to be the one time that people are actually believing victims (in general that is) so I would imagine that is why the dam seems to be breaking here.

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QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 04:24 PM)
can we somehow have a bot that just posts these because it seems like there's going to be a lot?

 

‘Mad Men’ Creator Matthew Weiner Accused of Sexual Harassment by Writer Kater Gordon

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/11/matthew-w...men-1201895936/

 

You mean you aren't a bot?

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QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 05:43 PM)
Well this seems to be the one time that people are actually believing victims (in general that is) so I would imagine that is why the dam seems to be breaking here.

 

Yep. Dustin Hoffman's bad act might not be as bad as Weinstein's, but it's still a bad act. It's a good thing (IMO) that so many women (and men!) have not only become empowered to come forward, but also that people are believing the accusations.

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QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 06:18 PM)
At their base, that is what all of these scandals have in common. People in positions of power abusing those positions to feed their sexual appetites, then using that power to bury any threats that come out of those activities. Meanwhile people who view their circle as being more important than anything else they talk about (equal rights or God as the case may be, etc) use it as an opportunity to beholden themselves to the original offender(s) by finding ridiculous excuses to defend said behavior.

 

While the offenders are absolutely horrible people, the secondary group that sells out everything to defend the offenders is almost worse because they have absolutely no spine at all.

I can't say I know all the literature on this, but "Feed their sexual appetites" is sometimes a poor description of the psychology of this, compared to the feeling of dominance and power involved.

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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Nov 9, 2017 -> 07:08 PM)
I sure hope we see more in the corporate world as well. Its rampant.

My wife was sexually harassed interviewing for a law job with EEOC many years ago. It is everywhere. She was going to file a charge, but was worried her name would be mud, and her career would be over before it began. Of course that is where long dong Silver came from. Anita Hill wasn't lying.

Edited by Dick Allen
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“You should f*** her to make her realize she’s gay.” He said this about me during a cast and crew “meet and greet” before we began filming, X Men: The Last Stand. I was eighteen years old. He looked at a woman standing next to me, ten years my senior, pointed to me and said: “You should f*** her to make her realize she’s gay.” He was the film’s director, Brett Ratner.

 

I was a young adult who had not yet come out to myself. I knew I was gay, but did not know, so to speak. I felt violated when this happened. I looked down at my feet, didn’t say a word and watched as no one else did either. This man, who had cast me in the film, started our months of filming at a work event with this horrific, unchallenged plea. He “outed” me with no regard for my well-being, an act we all recognize as homophobic. I proceeded to watch him on set say degrading things to women. I remember a woman walking by the monitor as he made a comment about her “flappy p****”.

 

We are all entitled to come into an awareness of our sexual orientation privately and on our own terms. I was young and although already a working actor for so long I had in many ways been insulated, growing up on film sets instead of surrounded by my peers. This public, aggressive outing left me with long standing feelings of shame, one of the most destructive results of homophobia. Making someone feel ashamed of who they are is a cruel manipulation, designed to oppress and repress. I was robbed of more than autonomy over my ability to define myself. Ratner’s comment replayed in my mind many times over the years as I encountered homophobia and coped with feelings of reluctance and uncertainty about the industry and my future in it. The difference is that I can now assert myself and use my voice to to fight back against the insidious queer and transphobic attitude in Hollywood and beyond. Hopefully having the position I have, I can help people who may be struggling to be accepted and allowed to be who they are –to thrive. Vulnerable young people without my advantages are so often diminished and made to feel they have no options for living the life they were meant to joyously lead.

 

I got into an altercation with Brett at a certain point. He was pressuring me, in front of many people, to don a t-shirt with “Team Ratner” on it. I said no and he insisted. I responded, “I am not on your team.” Later in the day, producers of the film came to my trailer to say that I “couldn’t talk like that to him.” I was being reprimanded, yet he was not being punished nor fired for the blatantly homophobic and abusive behavior we all witnessed. I was an actor that no one knew. I was eighteen and had no tools to know how to handle the situation.

 

I have been a professional actor since the age of ten. I’ve had the good fortune to work with many honorable and respectful collaborators both behind and in front of the camera. But the behavior I’m describing is ubiquitous. They (abusers), want you to feel small, to make you insecure, to make you feel like you are indebted to them, or that your actions are to blame for their unwelcome advances.

 

When I was sixteen a director took me to dinner (a professional obligation and a very common one). He fondled my leg under the table and said, “You have to make the move, I can’t.” I did not make the move and I was fortunate to get away from that situation. It was a painful realization: my safety was not guaranteed at work. An adult authority figure for whom I worked intended to exploit me, physically. I was sexually assaulted by a grip months later. I was asked by a director to sleep with a man in his late twenties and to tell them about it. I did not. This is just what happened during my sixteenth year, a teenager in the entertainment industry.

 

Look at the history of what’s happened to minors who’ve described sexual abuse in Hollywood. Some of them are no longer with us, lost to substance abuse and suicide. Their victimizers? Still working. Protected even as I write this. You know who they are; they’ve been discussed behind closed doors as often as Weinstein was. If I, a person with significant privilege, remain reluctant and at such risk simply by saying a person’s name, what are the options for those who do not have what I have?

 

Let’s remember the epidemic of violence against women in our society disproportionately affects low income women, particularly women of color, trans and queer women and indigenous women, who are silenced by their economic circumstances and profound mistrust of a justice system that acquits the guilty in the face of overwhelming evidence and continues to oppress people of color. I have the means to hire security if I feel threatened. I have the wealth and insurance to receive mental health care. I have the privilege of having a platform that enables me to write this and have it published, while the most marginalized do not have access to such resources. The reality is, women of color, trans and queer and indigenous women have been leading this fight for decades (forever actually). Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Winona LaDuke, Miss Major, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, to name a few. Misty Upham fought tirelessly to end violence against indigenous women, domestic workers and undocumented women. Misty was found dead at the bottom of a cliff three years ago. Her father, Charles Upham, just made a Facebook post saying she was raped at a party by a Miramax executive. The most marginalized have been left behind. As a cis, white lesbian, I have benefited and have the privileges I have, because of these extraordinary and courageous individuals who have led the way and risked their lives while doing so. White supremacy continues to silence people of color, while I have the rights I have because of these leaders. They are who we should be listening to and learning from.

 

These abusers make us feel powerless and overwhelmed by their empire. Let’s not forget the sitting Supreme Court justice and President of the United States. One accused of sexual harassment by Anita Hill, whose testimony was discredited. The other proudly describing his own pattern of assault to an entertainment reporter. How many men in the media – titans of industry - need to be exposed for us to understand the gravity of the situation and to demand the fundamental safety and respect that is our right?

 

Bill Cosby was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. Harvey was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. We continue to celebrate filmmaker Roman Polanski, who was convicted of drugging and anally raping a young girl and who fled sentencing. A fugitive from justice. I’ve heard the industry decry Weinstein’s behavior and vow to affect meaningful change. But let’s be truthful: the list is long and still protected by the status quo. We have work to do. We cannot look the other way.

 

I did a Woody Allen movie and it is the biggest regret of my career. I am ashamed I did this. I had yet to find my voice and was not who I am now and felt pressured, because “of course you have to say yes to this Woody Allen film.” Ultimately, however, it is my choice what films I decide to do and I made the wrong choice. I made an awful mistake.

 

I want to see these men have to face what they have done. I want them to not have power anymore. I want them to sit and think about who they are without their lawyers, their millions, their fancy cars, houses upon houses, their “playboy” status and swagger.

 

What I want the most, is for this to result in healing for the victims. For Hollywood to wake up and start taking some responsibility for how we all have played a role in this. I want us to reflect on this endemic issue and how this power dynamic of abuse leads to an enormous amount of suffering. Violence against women is an epidemic in this country and around the world. How is this cascade of immorality and injustice shaping our society? One of the greatest risks to a pregnant woman’s health in the United States is murder. Trans women of color in this country have a life expectancy of thirty-five. Why are we not addressing this as a society? We must remember the consequences of such actions. Mental health issues, suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, to name a few.

 

What are we afraid to say and why can’t we say it? Women, particularly the most marginalized, are silenced, while powerful abusers can scream as loudly as they want, lie as much as they want and continue to profit through it all.

 

This is a long awaited reckoning. It must be. It’s sad that“codes of conduct” have to be enforced to ensure we experience fundamental human decency and respect. Inclusion and representation are the answer. We’ve learned that the status quo perpetuates unfair, victimizing behavior to protect and perpetuate itself. Don’t allow this behavior to be normalized. Don’t compare wrongs or criminal acts by their degrees of severity. Don’t allow yourselves to be numb to the voices of victims coming forward. Don’t stop demanding our civil rights. I am grateful to anyone and everyone who speaks out against abuse and trauma they have suffered. You are breaking the silence. You are revolution.

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