The Sexual Assault problem

[Dick Allen]

I didn't apologize until this movement. Does that make me a s***ty human as well? Or does it just make me human? Dunno.

Were you using your position to keep the person you ultimately apologized to, silent? Were you denying any issue when questioned? Did it take your career to go down the toilet to come clean?

 

If this NYT article wasn't in the pipeline , would his movie have premiered? Would he have issued this apology today?

 

I don't know what you did, but there are several women this guy just whipped it out in front of and started whacking. I would imagine there are more than a couple more who haven't come forward. That's not a human mistake. That's a sick bastard.

 

I understand people make mistakes, but this has been an issue with this guy for a long time, and how it upset others didn't seem to bother him until he realized it was going to cost him his livelihood. His victims livelihood meant s*** to him.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Dick Allen

[BigSqwert]

You're in a f***ing flirty conversation man. Read what I'm f***ing saying. Maybe you don't have many conversations like that. I don't know. Lol

 

Just giving you my personal opinion. I know others will disagree.

[Reddy]

Just giving you my personal opinion. I know others will disagree.

You're one of those holier-than-thou liberal elites who does no wrong so I get it.

[Reddy]

(and FYI I'm not talking about dick pics. women don't even find those attractive without context. )

[BigSqwert]

You're one of those holier-than-thou liberal elites who does no wrong so I get it.

Bingo. Now allow me to go hang out with all my famous actor friends and big-time politicians and not so subtly brag about it.

[StrangeSox]

No woman ever wants a dick pic.

[Rowand44]

I mean, why would you apologize publicly before you're caught? When all this started I reached out an apologized to an ex for a past transgression that'd been eating away at me for a long time, similar to what CK describes, but I hadn't had the guts or the push to make amends (the relationship didn't end well). The #MeToo movement caused me to do so. But I did it privately. If I were a public figure, should I have been expected to make that apology publicly? Not taking a side on this, just honestly asking for perspectives.

For me, it's just the fact that I don't give a f*** about apologies. I'm immune to them, they mean nothing to me at this point(granted it doesn't matter what I think but just sharing my opinion). Like I said, he may very well be sorry for what he did, he may very well be sorry he just got caught, I don't know and I don't care. Fact is, dude is a creep and an apology whether it's sincere or not isn't going to change that for me.

[Dick Allen]

For me, it's just the fact that I don't give a f*** about apologies. I'm immune to them, they mean nothing to me at this point(granted it doesn't matter what I think but just sharing my opinion). Like I said, he may very well be sorry for what he did, he may very well be sorry he just got caught, I don't know and I don't care. Fact is, dude is a creep and an apology whether it's sincere or not isn't going to change that for me.

For me, it's the publicists playbook. Apologize. Go to rehab. Everyone gets second chances. Louis CK got several chances and did the exact same thing over and over and over again. Once it was apparent his career was in jeopardy, boy is he sorry.

 

There are some people who truly are sorry when they do something wrong. But in my book, it doesn't have to take the threat of losing something, a career, freedom,whatever, for them to come to the conclusion they screwed up.

 

I just ask myself with these dopes, would they be so apologetic if their careers weren't going to take a hit? I haven't had one yet where I would think yes. Maybe Dustin Hoffman.

[iamshack]

For me, it's just the fact that I don't give a f*** about apologies. I'm immune to them, they mean nothing to me at this point(granted it doesn't matter what I think but just sharing my opinion). Like I said, he may very well be sorry for what he did, he may very well be sorry he just got caught, I don't know and I don't care. Fact is, dude is a creep and an apology whether it's sincere or not isn't going to change that for me.

You are absolutely right, it isn't going to change anything for a lot of people.

 

But it seems to fulfill the bloodlust that everyone seems to want when a public person does something idiotic or repulsive.

 

 

[iamshack]

Btw, there is no need for folks to take s*** personally.

 

Reddy, I'm in your corner.

 

Sqwert, you've been married forever. Before I got married, I was a single dude in Las Vegas (you know this, you stopped by my place one day), and I definitely was trading pictures with women. I didn't just say "Hey, here's my cock!"

 

But like Reddy says, you come home from a party, you've had a half dozen drinks or so, and all the sudden "beep." You check your phone and it's some chick you went on a date with 3 days ago. Then all the sudden everyone's naked and sending pictures!

 

I confess! I'm guilty!

[Reddy]

No woman ever wants a dick pic.

On its own, nope. Gross.

[StrangeSox]

There were no qualifications for that statement. e: meant for Reddy

 

Nobody wants a dick pic, ever.

Edited November 10, 2017 by StrangeSox

[illinilaw08]

You are absolutely right, it isn't going to change anything for a lot of people.

 

But it seems to fulfill the bloodlust that everyone seems to want when a public person does something idiotic or repulsive.

 

This is a problem that is systemic in Hollywood (and in politics!). What matters at this point isn't whether these guys apologize. What matters is whether the culture changes. What matters is whether we as a society start to listen to victims, and make it ok for victims to speak up without their careers and their livelihoods being threatened.

 

I don't think that's "fulfilling a bloodlust." Since the Weinstein stuff broke, there have been dozens of allegations against dozens of powerful men in Hollywood. This isn't CK doing something stupid as a one-off. He's one of dozens in Hollywood that have been accused of abusing their power. If I'm going to condemn Roy Moore and Donald Trump, I need to also condemn people whose art I like - like CK, when it turns out that they were bad actors as well.

[BigSqwert]

you know this, you stopped by my place one day

 

Yes and that's why it was just one day. To this day I am still struggling with visions of you whipping it out and doing your thing.

 

[iamshack]

There were no qualifications for that statement.

Hah, you are very wrong.

[bigruss]

I have mixed feelings on apologies, they are 100% reactive so I can't trust them fully, but I do think there is some sincerity in them.

 

But that doesn't excuse someone for their actions, I hope that these guys actually try to make changes in the environment. Start up some campaigns (or volunteer in current ones), help empower the victims, help mitigate new occurrences. Do something instead of an online apology after you took advantage of someone.

[iamshack]

This is a problem that is systemic in Hollywood (and in politics!). What matters at this point isn't whether these guys apologize. What matters is whether the culture changes. What matters is whether we as a society start to listen to victims, and make it ok for victims to speak up without their careers and their livelihoods being threatened.

 

I don't think that's "fulfilling a bloodlust." Since the Weinstein stuff broke, there have been dozens of allegations against dozens of powerful men in Hollywood. This isn't CK doing something stupid as a one-off. He's one of dozens in Hollywood that have been accused of abusing their power. If I'm going to condemn Roy Moore and Donald Trump, I need to also condemn people whose art I like - like CK, when it turns out that they were bad actors as well.

But it is bloodlust.

 

Why the hell does this guy owe you or me an apology?

 

He owes these women apologies...you know, the ones he actually harmed.

 

I don't know either party. He doesn't owe me anything.

[illinilaw08]

After separating the sending pictures part out, I can definitely say I under what you're saying with the latter portions. I don't send pictures to girls whether you're referring to dick pics or something else so I can't speak to that.

 

The pendulum is swinging hard one way. With the whole rape-culture hysteria the last decade on college campuses and now this Hollywood stuff, it's getting a bit hairy. Obviously the Hollywood stuff is disgusting and the college campus stuff is a bit more complicated but I would hate to be a teenaged boy now having to grow up with this stuff. As the man, you are expected to make all the moves, advances, buy the drinks, etc. When people are drinking, a lot of interactions and signals, or flirting as you put, can be misread or packaged clumsily. The situations where men are using their power to enable them to satisfy their sexual perversions need to stop. Looking at the dating climate as a whole though, there's a fine line between being the victim of abuse and being a victim of regret.

 

These stories aren't going anywhere either. I think most know I am pretty young and I don't want to scare any parents with teenagers but this whole young generation goes to high school and college and experiences a hookup culture fueled almost entirely alcohol. I have a 25 year old friend. Good looking guy, smart, captain on his high school football team, went to a B10 college. IE - never had any issues getting girls but never has had a girlfriend since we were like 15. He told me has never had sex with a girl sober. It's unbelievable.

 

For me, this part is all about education, and it's about consent. You drill into your son that (a) a woman can't consent when she's drunk; (b) that consent is the most important thing when it comes to sexual encounters; and © if you are unsure, don't do it because if you are wrong, you might ruin your life. It's easier to say this than to do this, and I had my fair share of drunken hookups in college. But sex is just like entering into a contract. Both parties have to have the capacity to consent. Teach your sons that and hope they make the right decisions.

[Rowand44]

I hear you but what are the options here? You can ignore (Dan Scheneider). You can play the victim (Weinstein). You can deny (Piven). Or you can take ownership and apologize. It doesn't change the acts, but it's the best course of action.

You're absolutely not wrong. I wouldn't have cared what his course of action would have been at this moment to be honest. I was just responding to the people who think it's a sincere apology. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, I just don't give a f*** either way.

[StrangeSox]

For me, this part is all about education, and it's about consent. You drill into your son that (a) a woman can't consent when she's drunk; (b) that consent is the most important thing when it comes to sexual encounters; and © if you are unsure, don't do it because if you are wrong, you might ruin your life. It's easier to say this than to do this, and I had my fair share of drunken hookups in college. But sex is just like entering into a contract. Both parties have to have the capacity to consent. Teach your sons that and hope they make the right decisions.

 

and theirs

[Dick Allen]

But it is bloodlust.

 

Why the hell does this guy owe you or me an apology?

 

He owes these women apologies...you know, the ones he actually harmed.

 

I don't know either party. He doesn't owe me anything.

He's apologizing to the rest of us to hopefully save his career. Once everyone knows what he is, do they really want to go see him perform, or watch his movies, or TV shows?

 

It's publicity. Some people donate money and other things anonymously. Others have to make sure as many people know about it as possible IMO, this is pretty similar.

[BigSqwert]

He's apologizing to the rest of us to hopefully save his career. Once everyone knows what he is, do they really want to go see him perform, or watch his movies, or TV shows?

 

It's publicity. Some people donate money and other things anonymously. Others have to make sure as many people know about it as possible IMO, this is pretty similar.

 

That's probably why he listed so many of his TV and film projects in his apology. So people could be like "Oh wait...I like that show. I hope they don't cancel it."

[illinilaw08]

But it is bloodlust.

 

Why the hell does this guy owe you or me an apology?

 

He owes these women apologies...you know, the ones he actually harmed.

 

I don't know either party. He doesn't owe me anything.

 

Yeah, I might have misconstrued what you said. I don't think CK owes any of us an apology. But I also think that this is a transparently fake effort from CK. He's apologizing because he's been caught, and he's apologizing to try to get his career back.

 

CK's acts are despicable, and I'll hold him accountable by not consuming his art.

 

With that being said, it's not bloodlust to hold these guys accountable - publicly - for their bad acts.

[StrangeSox]

I don't know what's caused such a big cultural shift in such a short time period, but it really does seem like the default now is that the accusers are believed rather than dismissed or attacked.

[BigSqwert]

I don't know what's caused such a big cultural shift in such a short time period, but it really does seem like the default now is that the accusers are believed rather than dismissed or attacked.*

 

*Unless the accused is a GOP politician.

 

fixed