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Ways to Improve Guaranteed Rate Field (joke answers only)


Quin

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2 hours ago, GREEDY said:

16.  Anytime there is boo'ing, a giant Steve Stone fathead pops out of the seat in front of you BLOCKING your view of the game because you are a bad fan.

This one is inspired.

Also: The Crosstown Clash. 

During the Cubs series, a section of the bleachers is given White Sox and Cubs themed sock'em boppers that track hits. Whichever fanbase lans the most hits gets a Manfred Runner starting in the 7th inning.

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Free MLB.TV trial subscription while in the stadium, so you can at least watch one meaningful game while you're there.

"Speed Catch" machine where, instead of clocking your fastest pitch, you get to try to catch a 99-mph fastball.

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Bartering-based concessions where fans can obtain food in exchange for "trading down" to less-expensive seating.

Taste-of-Chicago-style tickets for all concession items. As a cashless venue, force all fans to purchase paper tickets, which will be the only way to acquire any food, drinks, or merchandise. To reduce operating costs, keep no more than three ticket vending stations open at any time. To minimize localized crowding, periodically and randomly close each ticket vending station without warning to provide fans with the ability to explore all parts of the stadium prior to being able to buy something from a vendor while in their seats

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30 minutes ago, Dick Allen said:

Think how much money they could make for charities if the had a JR, KW and RH dunk tank.  All sitting together. I'd pay a lot per toss, and show up at a 35 degree game vs the Tigers in April if I had a shot of getting them wet.

Every Friday is "Foodie Friday" where Portillo's Hamburger, Footlong Comiskey Dog, and all the others are in the dunk tank. 

If they get sunk, their respective food is free for the next 5 minutes in the park.

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2 hours ago, Dick Allen said:

Think how much money they could make for charities if the had a JR, KW and RH dunk tank.  All sitting together. I'd pay a lot per toss, and show up at a 35 degree game vs the Tigers in April if I had a shot of getting them wet.

Could you imagine how many fans would try to dunk Hahn, but only if JR or KW would take the fall for him

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Bring back $5 Pepsi Mondays and Tuesdays where u could get a $5 500 level ticket at the box office simply by holding up a crushed Pepsi product can. Maybe $6 instead to account for inflation. 

Free one liters of RC Cola for every 2 pieces of Beggars Pizza purchased in stadium

Chocolate wax statue recreations of the player statues on the outfield concourse. Have a contest to see which one melts first in the July heat.  

Chicago bucket boy jam sessions on top of the opposing team dugout after the end of each inning. 

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The obvious solution is to buy a piece of Arlington Park from the Bears, build a new stadium that holds only about 22k to 25k so every night looks like a sell out. Since they don’t want to spend on their payroll, they won’t need all those seats anyway. Sox attendance averages well under 30k anyway. They’ll save on payroll. When they draw there usual 22k, the park will look full for TV All seat could be lower bowl seats  

 

Edited by AJ'S Cousin
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1 hour ago, AJ'S Cousin said:

The obvious solution is to buy a piece of Arlington Park from the Bears, build a new stadium that holds only about 22k to 25k so every night looks like a sell out. Since they don’t want to spend on their payroll, they won’t need all those seats anyway. Sox attendance averages well under 30k anyway. They’ll save on payroll. When they draw there usual 22k, the park will look full for TV All seat could be lower bowl seats  

 

Question: "Ways to improve Guaranteed Rate"

AJ's Cousin: "Obvious solution is move to Arlington Park!"

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Honestly, the stadium is basically perfect.  About the only thing you could do to enhance the experience is rip out a few sections of the 500 level and install some high top tables.  At least for me, I like experiencing a Sox game looking at my friends rather than the field and there aren’t a lot of options to do that right now at the Rate.

Edited by Chicago White Sox
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