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What They Need - Hahn Type Ideas Only*


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Rick Hahn calls a press conference to announce that Jerry Reinsdorf has agreed to and supports Rick and Kenny to begin immediately to implement a full blown, "knock it all down" rebuild, effective immediately! Rick assures the fan base that the prior rebuild which didn't go as well as planned, assures everyone this time around the rebuild will be a "you can take it to the bank" Home Run.

The mission statement from Jerry which Rick reads because Jerry was too busy to attend, is to trade most of players away and gut the roster to dramatically lower the team payroll and begin immediately the 2023 full tanking mode to secure the #1 draft pick. Jerry officially announces his belief and trust in his two senior executives. Thus Jerry informs everyone he has torn up their current long term contracts signed in 2017 and given both of them a new 10-year extended contract that includes a huge salary increase. 

During this press conference, Rick reassures the fan base that within 3-4 years you can definitely count on multiple WS championships and yearly routine playoff appearances. 

As the press conference ends and the reporters all screaming to ask questions, Rick waves bye to everyone with his traditional condescending smirk and says, "I'll see you all at the parade in a couple of years." 

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Bring back Leury as he was great for clubhouse chemistry on a 4 year, 75 million contract

Blame the other teams in baseball for not wanting to do business with the White Sox, then suggest how there's no one more upset than yourself

Talk more about negative fans (though with the amount of fans left, any fan should be considered good)

Throw Eloy at SS then talk about how playing SS is less load on the joints and muscles than DHing

Bad talk Jose Abreu because "he didn't want to be here anymore and any conjecture otherwise doesn't have the full story"

Give an open ended deadline about when negative fans will eat their crow - "Jump on the bandwagon now because in a few months, you're going to regret it, take that to the bank"

Summarize your points by talking about a "Us against the world" mentality that no one in the clubhouse cares about anymore

 

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Rick Hahnstanza's ideas for 2023 -

Switch the uniforms to cotton...because cotton breathes better.

Rick takes over batting practice -  “Hitting is not about muscle. It’s simple physics. Calculate the velocity ‘V’ in relation to the trajectory ‘T’ in which ‘G’ gravity, of course, remains a constant. It’s not complicated.”

Book these clowns in the Ramada on the road.

Edited by cuban_sammiches
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19 minutes ago, cuban_sammiches said:

Rick Hahnstanza's ideas for 2023 -

Switch the uniforms to cotton...because cotton breathes better.

Rick takes over batting practice -  “Hitting is not about muscle. It’s simple physics. Calculate the velocity ‘V’ in relation to the trajectory ‘T’ in which ‘G’ gravity, of course, remains a constant. It’s not complicated.”

Book these clowns in the Ramada on the road.

Like Henry Aaron said, it’s all in the wrists. This is why little guys like Willie Mays can hit 660 homeruns and the best hitter of all time was a splendid splinter

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2 words....Odrisamer Despaigne

He can start or relieve every day because he never needs to warmup.  Ok that fixes the pitching.

For offense, let's get Beckham out of the booth and see if he can do any better....looks pretty easy from the cheap seats eh Gordo??

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2 hours ago, The Kids Can Play said:

Rick Hahn calls a press conference to announce that Jerry Reinsdorf has agreed to and supports Rick and Kenny to begin immediately to implement a full blown, "knock it all down" rebuild, effective immediately! Rick assures the fan base that the prior rebuild which didn't go as well as planned, assures everyone this time around the rebuild will be a "you can take it to the bank" Home Run.

The mission statement from Jerry which Rick reads because Jerry was too busy to attend, is to trade most of players away and gut the roster to dramatically lower the team payroll and begin immediately the 2023 full tanking mode to secure the #1 draft pick. Jerry officially announces his belief and trust in his two senior executives. Thus Jerry informs everyone he has torn up their current long term contracts signed in 2017 and given both of them a new 10-year extended contract that includes a huge salary increase. 

During this press conference, Rick reassures the fan base that within 3-4 years you can definitely count on multiple WS championships and yearly routine playoff appearances. 

As the press conference ends and the reporters all screaming to ask questions, Rick waves bye to everyone with his traditional condescending smirk and says, "I'll see you all at the parade in a couple of years." 

My side hurts, thanks

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3 hours ago, The Kids Can Play said:

Rick Hahn calls a press conference to announce that Jerry Reinsdorf has agreed to and supports Rick and Kenny to begin immediately to implement a full blown, "knock it all down" rebuild, effective immediately! Rick assures the fan base that the prior rebuild which didn't go as well as planned, assures everyone this time around the rebuild will be a "you can take it to the bank" Home Run.

The mission statement from Jerry which Rick reads because Jerry was too busy to attend, is to trade most of players away and gut the roster to dramatically lower the team payroll and begin immediately the 2023 full tanking mode to secure the #1 draft pick. Jerry officially announces his belief and trust in his two senior executives. Thus Jerry informs everyone he has torn up their current long term contracts signed in 2017 and given both of them a new 10-year extended contract that includes a huge salary increase. 

During this press conference, Rick reassures the fan base that within 3-4 years you can definitely count on multiple WS championships and yearly routine playoff appearances. 

As the press conference ends and the reporters all screaming to ask questions, Rick waves bye to everyone with his traditional condescending smirk and says, "I'll see you all at the parade in a couple of years." 

No rebuild simply because they are not qualified to carry out a rebuild. Fool me twice shame on me. 

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