Texsox Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 By Ashley Bovee Not sure how to sweet talk your woman in the sack? If you have to inquire about the do's and don'ts of pillow talk, here's a hint: Try not talking at all. There's nothing worse than a guy who rambles on while we women are trying to get our rocks off. We don't want to hear about how your boss didn't like your T.P.S. report -- you can tell us about that later, while you're cleaning up. We could not care less if you have a cramp in your butt -- just keep going. If you absolutely must say something, keep it in the "Wow, you're beautiful" or "I've never felt so good in my life" range. We thrive on those kinds of compliments, even if you don't entirely mean them. On the other hand, whatever you do, under no circumstances should you mutter the following things. Because before you know it, you'll be back to Saturday nights spent ogling the Victoria's Secret catalog: 10. "Are you wearing courderoy pants, or have you not shaven your legs in months?" 9. "Wow! You remind me exactly of my mother when you do that." 8. "Let's turn off the lights so I don't have to look at your jiggly, fat ass." 7. "Honey, have you ever considered applying for Extreme Makeover?" 6. "It smells like hot garbage in here!" 5. "That feels okay, but my last girlfiend used to do it like this. Watch, I'll show you..." 4. "The guys are all over at ___________'s watching the game, gambling and drinking. I wonder what the score is." 3. "Too much tequila -- I think I'm gonna puke." 2. "I'm trying to think of this episode of The Simpsons and for the life of me I cannot remember the entire plot line. Help me out, will ya? It starts out when Homer and Bart are in the grocery store loading up on Duff..." 1. "By the way, I'm a raging homosexual." Just in case anyone here actually gets some anytime soon[/color] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sox4lifeinPA Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 11) "are we playing with "do-overs"?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandoFan Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 That Ashley woman is a moron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 11) "are we playing with "do-overs"?? 12) PA is that you? Take off that silly mask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBAHO Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 12) PA is that you? Take off that silly mask. It should be a Bag not a Mask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 13) Hi, my name is Jason Gage. What? You're not really a man?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Honda Civic Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 14) That's not the way your sister likes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sox4lifeinPA Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 12) PA is that you? Take off that silly mask. Mrs Southsider likes my mask though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danman31 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 14) That's not the way your sister likes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandoFan Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Mrs Southsider likes my mask though [insert a really tasteless Helen Keller reference] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted January 3, 2004 Author Share Posted January 3, 2004 12) PA is that you? Take off that silly mask. This is even funnier ~ or sicker ~ if you don't know PA is a nickname or did you men father or grandpa? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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