Texsox Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 The Day is Coming...or maybe it's here... > Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." > Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." > Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" > Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." > Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?" > Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" > Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir." > Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..." > Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." > Customer: "Whaddya mean?" > Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?" > Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it" > Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" > Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." > Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?" > Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99." > Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." > Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." > Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn." > Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" > Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." > Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" > Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it." > Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!" > Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." > Customer: (Speechless) > Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" > Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Cokeyour ad says I get with the pizzas." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elcaballo45 Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Lol, thats pretty good.... Interesting that i have to write a future paper for my Humanites class coming up this semester, that just gave me a couple of ideas... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soxfan420 Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 Lol, thats pretty good.... Interesting that i have to write a future paper for my Humanites class coming up this semester, that just gave me a couple of ideas... if that really happens im moving to what ever country cant afford that system Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 HEY ya never know son Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supernuke Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 if that really happens im moving to what ever country cant afford that system Welcome to Canada Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 It's going to happen, and it will be world wide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NUKE_CLEVELAND Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 The Day is Coming...or maybe it's here... > Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." > Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." > Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" > Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." > Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?" > Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" > Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir." > Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..." > Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." > Customer: "Whaddya mean?" > Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?" > Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it" > Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" > Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." > Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?" > Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99." > Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." > Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." > Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn." > Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" > Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." > Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" > Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it." > Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!" > Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." > Customer: (Speechless) > Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" > Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Cokeyour ad says I get with the pizzas." > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics!" If things ever get that bad or that Orweillian (sp) then I'm taking my X-Box (minus the X-Box live equipment ) my DVD's and my TV and moving to Idaho and live on a farm or something. I dont think I could deal with a world where the freekin pizza man knows more about my personal life than I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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