C.Rector Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 From: http://www.blackhawkzone.com/commentaries/020404.php Wirtz Announces 120 Year Plan By Hawkey Date: 02/04/2004 In response to an ESPN poll which ranked the Chicago Blackhawk hockey franchise as the worst professional sports franchise in North America, longtime Blackhawk Owner, Bill Wirtz, at a hastily-called press conference this morning, unveiled a 120 year plan to bring his franchise back to respectability. (Blackhawkzone.com) "Fortunately," said Wirtz, "because we're ranked last, there is nowhere to go, but up. Under the terms of our 120 year plan, we only have to move up one ranking spot per year, y'know, baby steps, instead of trying to do it all at once. "We've been devising this plan over the last 43 years (since the Hawks last won the Stanley Cup.) We've been testing different approaches as far has hiring/firing coaches, general managers and related personnel, as well as various drafting and trading techniques, and we feel we have perfected these areas." When asked for specific examples, Wirtz replied, "In the area of coaching, for example, we've found that it is best to hire one without any input from the general manager, since Bob (Pulford) is the true general manager-for-life; and, since the gm is replaced, on average, every 18 months, he is nothing more than a figurehead, anyway. As far as firing coaches, we prefer the way we did it with Billy Reay (a note under his hotel room door.)" Wirtz also stated that his 120 year plan also included a revamped marketing approach. "I've determined that I have to relinquish the marketing duties, for which I have been solely responsible. Pully will be my new Director of Marketing. It is simply too much for me to handle, anymore. I have instructed him to try to eliminate the televising of away games, and to work with the print and broadcast media to eliminate any mention of the Blackhawks in their publications and broadcasts, from here on in. I feel that this will expand the team's "mystique", and it will protect our loyal fan base and season ticket holders." When it was posed to Wirtz that this type of marketing wasn't working now, he countered with, "Of course, it's working! We are light-years ahead of every other sports franchise in the marketing department. Time will be our judge." Wirtz then wondered aloud why the same person was posing all the questions at this press conference, at which point Bob Pulford stood up and said, "Because I'm the only other person here, Bill." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NUKE_CLEVELAND Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 The day Bill Wirtz dies and goes to hell will be the happiest day in all of Blackhawk history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBAHO Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 There's a betta chance of da team bein contracted bf they eva get to be da #1 sports franchise in America. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I knew that story was fake when the Billy Worst character called them "season ticket holders" instead of his favorite phrase, "Season RESERVATIONISTS". What a pathetic dumping ground that once-proud franchise has become. And their owner couldn't care less. I feel like WSI's "Lip Man" when it comes to the SlackHawks - he has nothing good to say about the Sox, and I have nothing good to say about the Slackeys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slick03 Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 how could wirtz let an original six team become this pathetic!!?!? it's just not right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I think it is the curse of Bobby Hull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I dunno, 120 years sounds pretty optimistic to me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NUKE_CLEVELAND Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I think it is the curse of Bobby Hull. There's no curse or anything like that. It's all about a greedy owner putting the lining of his pockets before the fans. Cut and Dried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitesoxin' Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 It said in the ESPN article about them being the worst franchise that the team only turned a $1 million profit last year. That is unbelieveable for a major sports franchise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSteve Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Pretty comical...120 year plan, damn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 I think it is the curse of Bobby Hull. Bwahhhhaaaaa hahahahaha... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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