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Living wills...?


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Starting a living will

 

Legal documents that will make decisions for you if you’re in a condition where you can’t express these things for yourself

By Jean Sherman Chatzky

Today show

 

Updated: 3:12 p.m. ET Dec. 12, 2003Oct. 16 - Yesterday the feeding tube was removed from Terri Schiavo, the 39 year-old woman in Florida who has been in a coma for nine years. While Terri’s husband believes he is carrying out his wife’s wishes by not keeping her alive artificially, her parents have waged a six-year battle to keep her alive. The tragic situation could have been avoided with a simple document called a living will, and by naming healthcare proxy. “Today” financial planner Jean Chatzky has advice on how to start one.

 

What’s a living will?

It’s a legal document that speaks to doctors and hospitals as well as family members to tell them what you want in the way of medical treatment — including life support — if you’re in a condition where you can’t express these things for yourself.

 

It goes hand and hand with a durable power of attorney for healthcare (also sometimes called a healthcare proxy). That document gives one person the ability to be the medical decision maker — just as a durable power of attorney for finances does for money-related issues — if you’re unable to make these decisions on your own.

 

According to data a 2002 National Council on the Aging survey, 74 percent of people believe that writing a living will is “very important” preparation for later life (in fact, it tied with building up your savings as the most important preparation for later life). Yet only 20 to 30 percent of people have actually written one.

 

How and when should you get one?

As the Schiavo case shows — Terri Schiavo was only 29 when she fell ill — it’s not a document that’s specifically for older people, although it’s often thought of that way. You can and should get both living wills and healthcare proxies as soon as you turn 18.

 

Is it expensive?

It doesn’t have to be. One document that covers both the living will and the healthcare power of attorney is called the Five Wishes Living Will. It’s put out by a not-for-profit called Aging With Dignity (agingwithdignity.org, 1-888-5WISHES) that has backing from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. And it’s accepted in 35 out of 50 states. That makes it as close as the country has to a national living will document. The Five Wishes form isn’t free. Copies are $5 ($1 if you order more than 25). You can download free forms for your state at partnershipforcaring.org. But I prefer the Five Wishes because it’s written both in plain English and in such a way that it will get you and your loved ones talking about what you would want — and how and where you would want it —- when facing a truly dire healthcare situation.

 

So how do you do it?

Fill out the forms — whichever ones you choose — for yourself. Then use that experience as an entrée to sit down with your spouse or parents or other loved one to say, “I want you to know about the choices I’ve made.” It will open the door for them to talk about what they’d want as well.

 

Chosing your healthcare proxy

What happens if the person you’ve chosen to be your healthcare proxy can’t do it when the time comes because they’re out of the country — or just because they can’t step up to the plate emotionally.

 

It’s always a good idea to have one if not two different back-ups. The Five Wishes document has a place to name in rank order, three people you’d like to make decisions for you.

 

Where do you put it when you're done?

Your family gets a copy, so do your doctor, your lawyer, and the people you name as your healthcare proxies.

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I'm getting a living will done, as is my girlfriend. Since we don't plan on getting married, anything we have defaults to our parents if one of us ever died, with the exception of our house and our cars. 401k stuff, bank accounts, possessions, etc. all have to be written in there to make sure we cover for each other in case of death. Also, death service arrangements, organ donor stuff, et al is also being put in there. The last thing I would want if I died would be my stupid mother insisting on a catholic wake and burial. Like I want my rotting ass sitting in a hole, wasting land.

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They are very necessary.

 

After what happened to my gramma, you could have one and if the hospital/nursing home/doctor misfiles it, they will continue to sustain life until they rectify their error.

Fan, not sure what happened with your gram.. but my Great Aunt had one and copies were kept by her, her attny, all of her kids, her Dr.s office, and the hospital. They had no issues and her wishes were followed exactly.

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Fan, not sure what happened with your gram.. but my Great Aunt had one and copies were kept by her, her attny, all of her kids, her Dr.s office, and the hospital. They had no issues and her wishes were followed exactly.

The hospital she was rushed to would only accept the one that was on file with the nursing home that she came from. They lost it and it took them a few days to find it. Those few days were very painful for my family.

 

In the long run, after my experiences with my grandparents and their doctors, I really think the medical profession should examine how the elderly are treated. I think this because I can tell you that they aren't treated, medically speaking, as they should be. Sorry that was a bit clumsy, but it's the best I can do while working lol.

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The hospital she was rushed to would only accept the one that was on file with the nursing home that she came from.  They lost it and it took them a few days to find it.  Those few days were very painful for my family. 

 

In the long run, after my experiences with my grandparents and their doctors, I really think the medical profession should examine how the elderly are treated.  I think this because I can tell you that they aren't treated, medically speaking, as they should be.  Sorry that was a bit clumsy, but it's the best I can do while working lol.

I'm very sorry for your experience. It's a shame when hospitals are careless. But overall I think they are usefull.

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I'm getting a living will done, as is my girlfriend.  Since we don't plan on getting married, anything we have defaults to our parents if one of us ever died, with the exception of our house and our cars.  401k stuff, bank accounts, possessions, etc. all have to be written in there to make sure we cover for each other in case of death.  Also, death service arrangements, organ donor stuff, et al is also being put in there.  The last thing I would want if I died would be my stupid mother insisting on a catholic wake and burial.  Like I want my rotting ass sitting in a hole, wasting land.

GOWT, get yourself a good attorney to get all those documents as you want them. Everything is doable if you do not marry your significant other if the right documents are drafted except... depending on your state law... the body.

 

You can control your body in your lifetime even when unconscious through a Designation of Patient Advocate or whatever term is used in your state. (Note: "Living Wills" is a common use name and not recognised in a number of states; in Michigan, specific language must be in a DPA to be valid. Everyone should have one. Granted that I work in a law office by day but if you do not see an attorney for the "living will" I suggest not using a national one supplied by a national organization because it might not do what you want in your state. State-specific forms should be available on the internet for designations of patient advocates, i.e., living will).

 

You can control your assets after death by trust, will, forms of ownership, etc.

 

You probably cannot control your body after death.

 

The body goes to the nearest living relative who decides what happens to your body. (That is one reason gays want the right to marry, by the way.) If your significant other is not your legal spouse (straight or gay) then the closest living relative makes the decision -- and that means Mom is having her funeral if she so chooses and buries you, if she survives you. If she doesn't, it will be your closest living relative. And closest living relative can in most cases over-ride organ donor.

 

See an attorney is my best advise.

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