Soxy Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Stop dreaming, you pathetic losers! By Eric Neel Page 2 Memo to Cubs and Red Sox fans: Fuggedaboutit. Ignore what the pundits are saying about your pitching staffs and disregard the giddy little poems they're writing about your lineups. It ain't gonna happen. Not this year. Not ever. Dusty's going to grind those young northside arms into dust by July, and the warring superegos in Fenway are going to make a rumble between the Jets and the Sharks look like a knitting circle come August. You're going down. Suck it up. You ought to be used to it by now. I know I am. I count on it. We all do. Nothing makes us happier, really. You're like bad mojo magnets. You keep the stink off the rest of us. And as long as you keep going up in flames every year, no matter how ugly our teams play, we can rest easy in the fact that they're nowhere near Cub Homely or Red Sox Pathetic. Plus, it's fun watching from a distance, wondering when and how things will implode. Me and some buddies of mine have a pool going this year: I've got $5 on Sammy converting to Buddhism and declaring himself philosophically opposed to the violent act of hitting a baseball, and another five on Pedro pulling a Brando, going into hiding, and eating shovelfuls of ice cream straight out of the carton. The Sammy thing's a longshot, but I figure a 300-pound Pedro with Tin Roof Sundae dribbling down his chin is better than even money. Don't feel too bad. Think of the joy you provide for the rest of us. Like Charlie Brown kicking at the air and landing flat on his back, you're always good for a laugh. Sure, we're mocking you, but at least we're paying attention. If you were to actually get off the schneid it'd be like "Moonlighting" after Dave and Maddy kissed: No more tension, no more suffering, and no reason to watch. You don't want that, do you? Who am I kidding? Like what you want has ever mattered ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldmember Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Eric Neel...that article was beautiful.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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