Jump to content

Opening Day for the Cubs


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 125
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

This is what I think the Cubune headline will be....

 

Wrong Maddux Takes the Hill for The Cubs

by Steve Sullivan

 

In an unfortunate error Dusty Baker sent Mike Maddux to pitch for the Cubs in their 2004 home opener.  Mike Maddux, older brother of Greg "God" Maddux, has been retired for many years from professional baseball.  This mistake would explain the horrible performance of the guy wearing the Cubs uniform with the name "Maddux" on it, because there's no way that Greg Maddux would perform this bad.

 

When asked about the mistake Cubs GM Jim Hendrie said "Well that explains a lot.  I was really confused on what was happening to Maddux because I know I can never make a mistake and be completely wrong about a player.... oh yeah, the beer is still cold at Wrigley."

 

When asked how he accidently sent the wrong Maddux to pitch Cubs manager Dusty Baker responded,  "Well I was a little busy looking at a picture my son Darren drew for me, you should see it, it is of me and him dancing in a field.  Anyways, when I was looking at it I just yelled 'Maddux, go out there and take the field', so I didn't REALLY specify which Maddux.  Oh yeah, Prior's health is fine."

 

When reached for comment Greg Maddux explained why his brother pitched in his place, "I was planning to pitch for the Cubs today, but from what all the Cubs fans and newspapers reported I thought I didn't actually have to throw a ball.  I thought that Dusty would just write my name on the line-up card and the other team and MLB would give me credit for pitching 7 innings and only giving up 2 runs.  By the time I realized that I actually had to take the field and throw the ball it was too late, so Mike went ahead and threw for me.  That didn't work out well because he's been retired for about 53 years now.  Oh yeah, I would like to thank Mr. Boras for getting me a ridiculous amount of money for my current skill level."

 

The Cubs released the following statement about the situation:

 

Everything is OK, come out drink some beer and look at some overrated woman.  We promise next time Mike Maddux won't pitch when Greg Maddux is scheduled.  (Allthough we can't guarantee some other family member won't pitch for him).

Oh yeah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know Atlanta got pasted today, but I hope Juan Cruz had a chance to watch the Cubbie game from the Shea Stadium clubhouse. Because the guy he was traded for just got booed off the field after not being able to throw a strike.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...