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Favorite Family Guy Quote


MurcieOne

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Brian: Peter, I'm in love with this girl...

(awkward pause)

Peter: Oh my God! You can talk!!!

Parking attendant: Oh you don't need to park here, Mr. Griffin. You have an executive parking space now.

Peter: But that looks exactly like my old space.

Attendant: Yeah, but this one comes with your own company suck-up!

Suck-up: Morning, Mr. Griffin! Nice day!

Peter: Ehh, it's a little cloudy.

Suck-up: It's absolutely cloudy. One of the worst days I've seen in years! So, good news about the Yankees!

Peter: I hate the Yankees.

Suck-up: Pack of cheaters, that's what are! I love your tie.

Peter: I hate this tie.

Suck-up: It's awful, it's gawdy, it's gotta go.

Peter: And I hate myself.

Suck-up: I hate you too. You make me sick, you fat sack of crap.

Peter: But I'm the president.

Suck-up: The best there is!

Peter: But you just said you hated me.

Suck-up: But- not you the- president. The- you who said- you- hated- you? You who love. Hate. Yankees. Clouds?

[suck-up's head explodes]

[in the court]

Guy:You swear to tell the truth,the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Peter:I do.....ya bastard

Vacuum repair guy: There you go, it's all fixed. Turns out there was a half-eaten meatball clogging the intake.

Peter: Well, did you save it?

Vacuum repair guy: Uh... no.

Peter: Ya Bastard!

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The scene where Peter comes back from a court ordered feminist retreat and breast feeds Stewie. I fell off the coach and begged for mercy I was laughing so hard at Stewie's expression.

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The scene where Peter comes back from a court ordered feminist retreat and breast feeds Stewie. I fell off the coach and begged for mercy I was laughing so hard at Stewie's expression.

That was a good one!

 

My personal favorite...

 

Lady: Are you even part of this organization? What's your name?

Peter starts stuttering...as he's trying to make up a name, then sees a green pea and says: Uhhhmmm, Pea!

Then Peter sees a girl crying and while still stuttering says: Tear!

Peter still looking frantically around and sees a griffin flying around the restaurant and says: Griffin!

 

Peter: Peter Griffin!

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The scene where Peter comes back from a court ordered feminist retreat and breast feeds Stewie. I fell off the coach and begged for mercy I was laughing so hard at Stewie's expression.

:headbang that seriously will stop me in my tracks everytime because I'm laughing so much, oh here's another one

"Mr. Griffin, my name is Paddy Tanager, the caddy manager, yeah it rhymes, big whoop, you wanna fight about it?"
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Quagmire: So Meg you 18 yet?

Meg: No

Quagmire: Alriiiight

 

(Later in the Episode)

Quagmire: How old are you girls?

Girls: 16

Quagmire: 18! alriiight!

Girl: Mom

Quagmore: This is getting interesting...Giggity

LMFAO, damn I wish I had Family Guy on down here. I hav to put up with episodes up Futurama and King of the Hill for the moment. ;)

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Quagmire talking to two women kissing in a bar  " Hey! Either of you lesbians ever been  penatrated????? 

 

or

Cleveland talking to Peter "I have to get upstairs to Loretta while the gettings good"
followed by BANG OW BANG OW BANG OW When's it gonna be MY turn??

 

there are so many good quotes...

 

jake

:fthecubs :drink

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  • 5 months later...
Peter: Wow Lois, me and Chris are such a good father and son team, just like the Gumbels.

Lois:Peter, Greg and Bryant Gumbel arent Father and son, theyre brothers.

Peter: Lois, just because theyre black doesnt mean you cant learn anything from them.

 

Peter at a job interview:

Boss: Peter, where do you see yourself in ten years?

Peter, thinking to himself: dont say doin your wife, dont say doin your wife. "uhh.... doin your.....son

 

"Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.

Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Auctioner: She had nine STDs.

Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.

Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.

Quagmire: Fifty bucks. "

 

"Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?

Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.

Peter: Wrong, the ugly one! " :lolhitting :lolhitting :lolhitting :lolhitting :lolhitting :lolhitting

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couple more really good ones:

"Lois: You're drunk again.

Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking. "

 

"Peter: Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France. "

 

"Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep. "

 

"Peter: At least they don't put their feminine ointments next to the mustard, Lois. That was the worst hot dog I ever ate."

 

"Peter:Lois a boats a boat, but the mystery box could be anything....it could even be a boat!"

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