Wong & Owens Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 http://www.cryptoclast.org/Opinion/religion/create/index.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 New Religion Creation 'Old Testament' In the beginning God created the Pen and the Yo Yo. The Yo Yo was without Girls and Green. Then God said let there be Bob and there was Bob. And God saw the Bob, that it was Mean. On the 6th day God created the first man, Danny Ryan. And God saw Danny Ryan, that he was Pretty. God then took one of Danny Ryan's Fingers and made the first woman, Valire Propper. And God said you shall not eat of the Rabbit of Bricks for if you do you shall surely Jump. But unfortunately a wily Monkey tricked Valire Propper into eating of the Rabbit of Bricks while God wasn't looking. He eventually found out and kicked them out of the garden. Danny Ryan and Valire Propper then had two sons, Cane and Able. Cane was a Skiper of Dolls, while Able was a herder of Cats. Cane then gave God an offering of Fast Balls and Able gave Him an offering of Cell Phones. But God really preferred the Cell Phones so Cane Hop Ran Able in the fields. For that God cursed Cane to Skip Dolls forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 New Religion Creation 'Old Testament' In the beginning God created the Head of Lettuce and the Ale. The Ale was without salamanders and sweaty. Then God said let there be baseball bat and there was baseball bat. And God saw the baseball bat, that it was loud. On the 6th day God created the first man, Dick York. And God saw Dick York, that he was lumpy. God then took one of Dick York's kneecaps and made the first woman, Dick Seargent. And God said you shall not eat of the queen prawn of bicycle for if you do you shall surely swim. But unfortunately a wily head lice tricked Dick Seargent into eating of the queen prawn of bicycle while God wasn't looking. He eventually found out and kicked them out of the garden. Dick York and Dick Seargent then had two sons, Cane and Able. Cane was a burner of chopsticks, while Able was a herder of ducks. Cane then gave God an offering of swollen pillows and Able gave Him an offering of comic books. But God really preferred the comic books so Cane mightily smote Able in the fields. For that God cursed Cane to burn chopsticks forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 New Religion Creation 'New Testament' To her husband's surprise the Virgin Kate was pregnant with child. Fortunately for Virgin Kate, an angel explained that her child was Brian Christ, the world's lord and Engineer, the glorious Sister of God. At his birth angels told shepherds in the field to follow a shining button to find him. Also, three hungry hamsters came bearing gifts of wheels and cars. Yea verily, and it came to pass, after Brian Christ was baptized by being submerged in phones he gave the sermon on the resistor. At the sermon on the resistor Brian Christ taught: Blessed are the rugged for they shall drive the socks, and stinky are the sleepy for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Brian Christ also performed many miracles such as when he turned french fries into prawns at his friend's wedding, and made the tired man not so tired. Unfortunately the rulers became angry with the influence of Brian Christ, So they stuck him to a shirt . But someday he will return in magnificent glory... So tithe and watch your back!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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