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Dumb criminal stories


Soxplosion

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Dont ya love reading stories about idiotic criminals? I do, so Im gonna start a thread just for this. Where everyone can tell the funniest true crook stories they can. Hell, even jokes are acceptable. So Ill start with a true story:

 

A man with a ski mask and a gun walked into a Florida bank, aimed his gun at the guard and screamed "Freeze, mother stickers! This is a f*** up!". It was rather quite for a moment and then everybody started laughing. The guard keeled over laughing and this was probably a good thing because he was about to draw his gun and he wouldnt have been able to fire before the crook. The crook then ran out in embarrassment and got away. The bank now has a plaque of the hilarious slip...

 

Well, I hope that gives yall something to start on! Have fun! :lol:

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I can't remember exact details of when and where, but it doesn't matter

 

Anyway, these two people robbed a bank, and when they went to deposit the money into their accounts asked the banker "how much money can we deposit without you contacting the authorities." Talk about a giveaway. If that wasn't enough, the money in the bag still had the wrappers on it from the mint. Some people are apparently that damn stupid.

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paul harvey used to do these all the time

 

i remember one about a guy that on a sunday afternoon walked into the guys house pointed a gun at the first person he saw and yelled freeze...ends up he was a cop and he was having a party wirth his cop buddies and about 15 off duty police officers drew on the guy..

 

i remember one where a guy went to rob a bank and used his own deposit slip to write the stick up note on

 

a guy went into a 7-11 and bought a candy bar and gave the clerk a 20...when he opened the cash register the guy jumped the counter , pushed the cleck out of the way , grabbed a handful of cash and ran...leaving the 20 and the candy on the counter...the guy got away with 17 dollars in cash:)

 

another guy saw a cop pulled this lady over and was giving her a ticket...the cop left his door open so the thief thought it would be funny to jump in the cop car and take off...so he does...as he takes off down the street he looks to his right and is starring at the cop's partner..and his pistol pointing at his head...

 

a guy robbed a store after it closed and got locked in with a couple of security dogs so he called 911 to get him out..

 

this happened when i lived in oregon...a couple robbed a bank and it was so easy the very next day they robbed the same bank..got away with it both times

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"Whoa video taping this crime spree was the best idea we ever had"- The Simpsons.

 

Guy walks into a bar...ouch.

 

Oh ya crimnal stories, I got funny ones of my own but I don't think I could type them their propper justice.

 

Guy Robs a bank, looks like an idiot teller says sure sign here, 20 mins later found swimming naked in cash at the address he gave, who knows if any of this stuff happened, but I'm sure there are some real stupid f***ing criminals, judging by the people I went to high school with.

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All of those are pretty good. Ive heard ones similar to yours Matthew and its pretty funny that anyone can be so dumb. Baggs, I like yours about the 7-11 and stealing the cop car. And KT, its kinda hard to believe anyone is so stupid but they are. Soms people cant do anything right. Good job guys, these are good! :lol:

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