Steff Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Jim and I found out that a very dear friend of ours son killed himself. Shot himself. 34 years old. I spent most of the weekend thinking about how someone could do such a thing. What thoughts run through a person's head as they sit there with a gun cocked at their temple or in their mouth. I just can't imagine it. I wonder if he was scared. If it hurt. So morbid. His life didn't seem so bad. He was a functioning (closet) alcoholic. His father had done so much for him (gave him a prominant job in his agency), he had a nice house, a couple cool dogs that were like children. A girlfriend occasionally - he was more into doing things with his other single guy friends and liked his freedom too much to marry at this point. I know it's real easy to say "it can't be that bad", and I've been trying to keep in mind that no one knows anything about anyone elses private hell.. but I just can't imagine (from being so close with the entire family) that things were "that bad" (obviously they were). The only thing I am sure of is that suicide is such a cowardly selfish act. The pain that his father is dealing with, he will live with the rest of his life. The vision of seeing his son dead.. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Prayers are with him, his family and you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 My prayers are with everyone connected. When I was in HS my girlfriend's neighbor, 12 years old, placed a family handgun to his head, and ended his own life. I will remember to this day the pain both parents felt. The mom was heaping the guilt on the father who bought the gun over the mom's objection. His sister was blaming herself because he said he was going to do it and she didn't believe him. Later it came out that he called three "friends" who all told him to go ahead. He had threatened this before and they were tired of his threats. He released himself from his pain, multiplied it 100 fold and heaped it on everyone else. It is a cowardly, selfish thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I'm sorry to read this. Ya know, you never know sometimes what can happen. A buddy of mine has some neighbors. A few months ago their son, in his early 30's, killed himself. He was a succes in his job, made a ton of money, and traveled the world. He had accomplished all of his dreams. He then decided he had nothing else to live for, since he had done all the things he had ever wanted to do. His note to his parents was a happy one, that just ended with a "I'm sorry, but I have done everything I care to do in life". You never know what can trigger somebody to make that horrible choice, and I hope to never have to try and figure it out myself. My sister tried when we were teens, but she came through it all O.K., and I still have her around. Again, I am sorry that you are going through this now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Two guys I went to grammar school with took their life. One was 18 (gunshot) the other was about 25 (hanging). The 25 yr old left behind 3 kids whose mother is in prison (she might be out by now). Both families suffered greatly because of the suicides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 21, 2004 Author Share Posted June 21, 2004 I don't know why.. but I'm trying hard to "understand" and I'm struggling with it. I've had my share of bad hands in life, and naturally felt at the end of the rope a couple times. But the fear of pain, or mess, or something... just scares me so badly that I KNOW I would NEVER be able to take my own life. I don't know why I'm trying so hard to understand. I did the "say a prayer and be thankful" thing.. but for some reason I am consumed with trying to understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Two guys I went to grammar school with took their life. One was 18 (gunshot) the other was about 25 (hanging). The 25 yr old left behind 3 kids whose mother is in prison (she might be out by now). Both families suffered greatly because of the suicides. I'll never understand how anybody could leave children behind on purpose. It's the main thing that has helped my sister stay grounded. A good friend of mine found her mother hanging from a closet door. Another friend found his little brother after he had shot himself in the head, and left a note blaming the step-dad. It is amazing how many people have had brushes with suicide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Often times there is no understanding - to rationalize something so irrational is nearly impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I'll never understand how anybody could leave children behind on purpose. It's the main thing that has helped my sister stay grounded. A good friend of mine found her mother hanging from a closet door. Another friend found his little brother after he had shot himself in the head, and left a note blaming the step-dad. It is amazing how many people have had brushes with suicide. Another friend's younger brother took his life too (we were in high school when it happened). He was the same age as my sister and was about 12 or 13 when it happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted June 21, 2004 Author Share Posted June 21, 2004 Often times there is no understanding - to rationalize something so irrational is nearly impossible. I know. And I am so not like this so I don't understand why I can't just say a prayer and move on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xero Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Prayers are with him and his family :headshake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xero Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I know. And I am so not like this so I don't understand why I can't just say a prayer and move on... It still takes time to get over things. My best friends little brother died and he blames himself for his death because he was the driver. It is sad times, takes time to move on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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