GASHWOUND Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Gotta a little problem and need some advice...I've been seeing this girl on and off for about 6 months..mostly on... we were separated for about 2 weeks 4 months in, but we got back together.. Well, I'm gonna moving in into a small home that I bought in September...It's a 3 BR ranch house..really nice and my mother's best friend is a reality agent so got a good deal on it.. BUT now my girlfriend wants to move in with me and I don't want to live with anybody...I like being alone and having my space..And other than that what other excuse can I use? " Uhh,I don't have that much room for ya babe." "Come on, livin with 3 roommates ain't that bad babe." "You don't want to live with me, I'm a slob and watch alot of porn." Franky, I don't think saying any of that is gonna convince her. And yeah, I can say I don't think it's a good idea to move in with somebody UNLESS they're married..If it breaks off we'll be on Judge Judy within the month arguing on who bought the bedroom dresser... And I'm afraid if I simply just say I don't want you to move in she'll get mad and break up with me...and I don't want to break up with her... Am I being selfish on insisting on living in a house all by myself????? I do.....sorta..kinda but I'm scared as hell with living with somebody... I know, its stupid.. What do ya guys think? and has anybody on the boards lived with somebody before they were married and ended badly? Or good thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baggio202 Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 my personal view falls along the lines of my conservative christian beliefs so you can guess my advice would be definately not to do it..but stepping back from that you might want to check out the legal ramifications in your state on living together...cwsox would be a better source to get info on this but you need to find if you let her move in does she become a tennant??..how long before the state considers you as married for legal purposes??..suppose you guys have a fight and decide to break up and she isnt ready to move out???....do you have to evict her??...does the state consider you for all practical purposes married and maybe she's entitled to half of all your guys stuff??..or maybe just the stuff bought after you guys moved in together???...i dont know how all that works but i would find out before i would even consider it and if you do decide to let her move in you might want to check with a lawyer to maybe draw up some documents to protect yourself incase things turn ugly.. i would look at it from a worst case scenario and if that happens , how much of a negative effect would it have on your life???... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Semi-serious suggestion: You're 23 or 24 right? Well, it might be a stretch but maybe you can BLAME YOUR MOM. That would certainly work if you were only 18 or 19 at any rate. Tell her your mom will flip out if you guys start living together. Screw honesty in a relationship and all that.. More serious suggestion: There are some upsides to moving in together right off the bat IF you think she'll get in there eventually. If at the outset you each have a bedroom, etc, and (more importantly) it is clear how much of the rent you'll both be paying you at least have some of that stuff settled. If she has a place and ends up spending most of her time at your place eventually, she'll be paying rent there and so won't be paying for your place. Nor will she have any space of her own staked out for herself and her stuff... In truth it's completely up to you. If she gets so bent out of shape about not being invited to live with you that it threatens the relationship, that is somewhat telling. If she's never lived with anyone before she may have some of the same feelings, so talk to her and (forget what I said about honesty above) tell her what you're thinking. I made a huge move from Illinois to Florida after college with a girlfriend. We found a place and moved in together, and down the line it blew up in our face. It turns out she was actually a spul-devouring demon spawn dressed in human skin and everybody but me knew it at the time though, so it all worked out good in the end. The next person I lived with eventually took leave of her senses after a couple of years and married me, so it can lead to good things too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerhead johnson Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 years now. I purchased a house back in the summer of 2002 & we've been living in sin ever since. We are now engaged to be married, however. But it depends on the individual. I knew after maybe two months into our relationship that I'd be with her for the rest of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 years now. I purchased a house back in the summer of 2002 & we've been living in sin ever since. We are now engaged to be married, however. But it depends on the individual. I knew after maybe two months into our relationship that I'd be with her for the rest of my life. LOL! Brian and I have been doing the 'living in sin' thing for about two years now. We are leaving in about 30 minutes to go talk to the priest (we set the date with him and are going in for the 'are you really sure you want to do this' talk and to get the info on what we need to do before the wedding - pre-cana, paperwork, rehearsal etc.). As for her moving in with you, I suggest being honest, but I know that doesn't work with all women. I lived by myself for a year and a half before living with the Brain. I loved it. Brian's friend tried begging him to let him move in with Brain (so he didn't have to live at home) and his gf would accept that if he did, she wasn't going to be moving in so Brain put the kabosh on the whole thing. It also helped him to make his decision that I told him if his friend did it would be over between us because we both knew damned well his buddy's gf would be there 24/7. (I had issues with that because she was already trying to break us up and I wasn't going to endure putting up with her skank ass while visiting with him. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldmember Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 It also helped him to make his decision that I told him if his friend did it would be over between us because we both knew damned well his buddy's gf would be there 24/7. (I had issues with that because she was already trying to break us up and I wasn't going to endure putting up with her skank ass while visiting with him. ) oh, you go girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 Semi-serious suggestion: You're 23 or 24 right? Well, it might be a stretch but maybe you can BLAME YOUR MOM. That would certainly work if you were only 18 or 19 at any rate. Tell her your mom will flip out if you guys start living together. Screw honesty in a relationship and all that.. More serious suggestion: There are some upsides to moving in together right off the bat IF you think she'll get in there eventually. If at the outset you each have a bedroom, etc, and (more importantly) it is clear how much of the rent you'll both be paying you at least have some of that stuff settled. If she has a place and ends up spending most of her time at your place eventually, she'll be paying rent there and so won't be paying for your place. Nor will she have any space of her own staked out for herself and her stuff... In truth it's completely up to you. If she gets so bent out of shape about not being invited to live with you that it threatens the relationship, that is somewhat telling. If she's never lived with anyone before she may have some of the same feelings, so talk to her and (forget what I said about honesty above) tell her what you're thinking. I made a huge move from Illinois to Florida after college with a girlfriend. We found a place and moved in together, and down the line it blew up in our face. It turns out she was actually a spul-devouring demon spawn dressed in human skin and everybody but me knew it at the time though, so it all worked out good in the end. The next person I lived with eventually took leave of her senses after a couple of years and married me, so it can lead to good things too. I'm a MATURE 24 years old.......Oh wait...BOOBIES!!!!! Uhh, sorry..saw something on the TV Anyways...She does have a part time job, and she's a student at IUN and lives with her 2 friends of her... Doesn't make all that much. And like I said, she lives with roomates...I hear her complain about not having much room in the apartment...she hasn't brought up directly that she would like to move in with me..just giving subtle hints here and there.. But not only do I have the strong desire to live by my lonesome, I don't think it's a good idea to live your GF unless maybe you're engaged at the least.. Not that I have any religious beliefs, just that it can blow up in your face. Look at you...your girlfriend turned into a demon spawn... But also turned out good..I don't know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 years now. I purchased a house back in the summer of 2002 & we've been living in sin ever since. We are now engaged to be married, however. But it depends on the individual. I knew after maybe two months into our relationship that I'd be with her for the rest of my life. How old were you when she moved in with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 LOL! Brian and I have been doing the 'living in sin' thing for about two years now. We are leaving in about 30 minutes to go talk to the priest (we set the date with him and are going in for the 'are you really sure you want to do this' talk and to get the info on what we need to do before the wedding - pre-cana, paperwork, rehearsal etc.). As for her moving in with you, I suggest being honest, but I know that doesn't work with all women. I lived by myself for a year and a half before living with the Brain. I loved it. Brian's friend tried begging him to let him move in with Brain (so he didn't have to live at home) and his gf would accept that if he did, she wasn't going to be moving in so Brain put the kabosh on the whole thing. It also helped him to make his decision that I told him if his friend did it would be over between us because we both knew damned well his buddy's gf would be there 24/7. (I had issues with that because she was already trying to break us up and I wasn't going to endure putting up with her skank ass while visiting with him. ) I've lived by myself for 2 years in my apartment and I love it...When you live with your mom and brothers and sisters for your whole life you have a STRONG desire in wanting to reside alone... And with me buying me first home I want to live by myself in my brand new home(well, new to me) I don't think that's asking for much..although i do feel a bit guity..with me having a house and she living with 2 other people.. I'm dazed and confused on the situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 my personal view falls along the lines of my conservative christian beliefs so you can guess my advice would be definately not to do it..but stepping back from that you might want to check out the legal ramifications in your state on living together...cwsox would be a better source to get info on this but you need to find if you let her move in does she become a tennant??..how long before the state considers you as married for legal purposes??..suppose you guys have a fight and decide to break up and she isnt ready to move out???....do you have to evict her??...does the state consider you for all practical purposes married and maybe she's entitled to half of all your guys stuff??..or maybe just the stuff bought after you guys moved in together???...i dont know how all that works but i would find out before i would even consider it and if you do decide to let her move in you might want to check with a lawyer to maybe draw up some documents to protect yourself incase things turn ugly.. i would look at it from a worst case scenario and if that happens , how much of a negative effect would it have on your life???... Well, I don't think there would be any legal ramifications unless she has her name on the lease or title..or any of the utilities Which she wouldn't I don't know what legal obligation she would have if things would to explode.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerhead johnson Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 How old were you when she moved in with you? We were both 23 years old when we moved in together. But like I said, I had been with her for almost 5 years beforehand. 5 years=very long time. That's the difference between "Please Please Me" and "Revolution". That is more than enough time to determine what you have. I agree that 6 months is nowhere near enough time in the vast majority of cases. I've always been a guy who was interested in long term relationships, even back in grade school. Same story in her case. If this applies to the both of you, that might help you in your decision. Has she revealed anything about her past? It might be time to conduct a baseball/quickman type investigation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelasDaddy0427 Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 I'm 23... I share a 2 bedroom apartment with my girlfriend and it's not that bad. If I ever told her that I didn't want to live with her anymore she would automatically assume I was trying to cheat on her. Really no way to avoid it you either are serious enough to be with her or not. If your not ready just tell her that. If she dumps you your better off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSteve Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Wow, all that after such a short time. I'm sure it'd be a blast though. I couldn't help ya in the least bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wong & Owens Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Stick to your guns, Gashie. My advice as someone living "as I f***ing choose, shove it along with your 50% divorce rate up your ass, religious nutbags" for 2 years? If you don't want to live with someone, but you let her move in anyways, you'll constantly be resenting her (outwardly or not) for encroaching on your space, and you two won't last three months together. If you lay out your reasons for not wanting a roommate, and she explodes, or pouts, or pressures you to change your mind, well, then she's a selfish fugitive from Whore Island, and you would be better off without her anyways. If you do decide to be foolish and let her move in, I believe that as long as she pays rent(and can prove it) she has legal tenant rights after 4 months. It doesn't matter if there's a written lease or not. To legally kick her out, you'd have to give her 30 days notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GASHWOUND Posted July 13, 2004 Author Share Posted July 13, 2004 Stick to your guns, Gashie. My advice as someone living "as I f***ing choose, shove it along with your 50% divorce rate up your ass, religious nutbags" for 2 years? If you don't want to live with someone, but you let her move in anyways, you'll constantly be resenting her (outwardly or not) for encroaching on your space, and you two won't last three months together. If you lay out your reasons for not wanting a roommate, and she explodes, or pouts, or pressures you to change your mind, well, then she's a selfish fugitive from Whore Island, and you would be better off without her anyways. If you do decide to be foolish and let her move in, I believe that as long as she pays rent(and can prove it) she has legal tenant rights after 4 months. It doesn't matter if there's a written lease or not. To legally kick her out, you'd have to give her 30 days notice. You're right...I'm gonna stick to my guns and avoid the subject all together....I'll just bring up something else if she steers towards the moving in with me.. How do ya like this.. GF: So, you're gonna be living in this big olé house all by yourself..won't you be lonely? ME: Of course not...my large collection of porn and masturbatory habits will keep me plenty company.... No???? How 'bout this GF: So honey, you don't mind if I stay with you for a couple days...I need some quiet time to study...I'll only stay for a few days... ME: Well of course honey..but you can't do it this week..first I'm having the place fumigated..and the next week I'm bringing in a medium...you do know my place is haunted, don't you???? Think any of that will work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperSteve Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 h3eiwuqi ricock@!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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