Texsox Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 You might be a republican if you believe . . . Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwsox Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 bump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 26, 2004 Author Share Posted July 26, 2004 bump CW, change your settings to 30 per page and no need to bump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwsox Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 You might be a Republican if you are the vice preisdent and say f*** You to a US Senator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 26, 2004 Author Share Posted July 26, 2004 You might be a epublican if you are the vice preisdent and say f*** You to a US Senator epublican? Is that a person who only posts his opinions, never votes them? If so, I love epublicans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 epublican? Is that a person who only posts his opinions, never votes them? If so, I love epublicans. I think it's slang for hypocrite.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwsox Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 You might be a Republican if: you run for US Senate as Mr. Clean and Mr. Religious and couldn't get your wife to go to sex clubs for public sex with you you are a member of a party in a major US state that has no one running for an open US Senate seat your party leaders, Bob Dole, Mike Ditka, earn their spending money by doing commericals for penile disfunction (Democrats can get it up without drugs, which so stuns Republicans they impeach people for that ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwsox Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 epublican? Is that a person who only posts his opinions, never votes them? If so, I love epublicans. bad typing on my part.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 your party leaders, Bob Dole, Mike Ditka, earn their spending money by doing commericals for penile disfunction (Democrats can get it up without drugs, which so stuns Republicans they impeach people for that ) Naaah, members of (huh huh, he said "member") the Democratic party just can't get any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilMonkey Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 You might be a Republican if: you run for US Senate as Mr. Clean and Mr. Religious and couldn't get your wife to go to sex clubs for public sex with you you are a member of a party in a major US state that has no one running for an open US Senate seat your party leaders, Bob Dole, Mike Ditka, earn their spending money by doing commericals for penile disfunction (Democrats can get it up without drugs, which so stuns Republicans they impeach people for that ) You might have been a little busy playing with your Democratic chubby to realize that Bob and Mike are not exactally party 'leaders'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.