jasonxctf Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 last night I chose to bypass Bush's speech and head on over to ABC Family to watch Good Will Hunting for the 50th time. It got me thinking of great movie quotes.. and I'll start with GWH. Keep in mind that the movie was made in '97, probably written in '96. It's somewhat weird how close this could resemble some of the issues in Iraq today. Will : Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a s***. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juddling Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 In the B-movie "They Live" Roddy Piper walked into a bank with a gun and announced "I'm here to do two things.....kick ass and chew bubble gum....and i'm all out of bubble gum!" i use that quote often. juddling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFanForever Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Jesse Ventura in Predator when he offers some of the guys in the chopper chew and they don't want any... "Bunch of slack-jawed f**gots around here! This stuff will make you a god damnned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 The one from Happy Gilmore is my of my favorite's of all time: Happy's Grandma: "Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep." Nursing Home Orderly (Ben Stiller, a.k.a. Dan's favorite actor ): "You could trouble me for a warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now grandma!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Nursing Home Orderly : Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today. Elderly Woman : My fingers hurt. Nursing Home Orderly : What's that? Elderly Woman : My fingers hurt. Nursing Home Orderly : Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Happy Gilmore: The price is wrong, b****!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Happy Gilmore : You little son of a b**** ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS BALL! -And lastly- Shooter : Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say. Happy Gilmore : Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say? Can anyone tell that I like Happy Gilmore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scwible Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From Old School--- Therapist : Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here. Frank : Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scwible Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Again From Old School--- Beanie : Spanish what the hell are you doing? Spanish : I'm just going to get some water. This suit is crazy hot, yo. Beanie : Put your head back on. That can be very traumatic for the kids. Spanish : You're right, I'm sorry, sir. Beanie : Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From Old School--- Therapist : Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here. Frank : Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not? I love that movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From Pulp Fiction, I don't know why, but, imo, this is one of the funniest scenes ever: Captain Koons : The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Also from Pulp Fiction: Jules : What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett : What? Jules : What country you from? Brett : What? Jules : "What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What? Brett : What? Jules : ENGLISH, MOTHERf***ER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT? Brett : Yes! Jules : Then you know what I'm saying! Brett : Yes! Jules : Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like! Brett : What, I-? Jules : [pointing his gun] Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherf***er. Say "what" one more goddamn time. Brett : He's b-b-black... Jules : Go on. Brett : He's bald... Jules : Does he look like a b****? Brett : What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules : DOES HE LOOK LIKE A b****? Brett : No! Jules : Then why you try to f*** him like a b****, Brett? Brett : I didn't. Jules : Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to f*** him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be f***ed by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 This is a classic from Office Space: Tom Smykowski : It's a "Jump to Conclusions Mat". You see, you have this mat, with different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO. Michael Bolton : That is the worst idea I've ever heard. Samir : Yes, this is horrible, this idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubKilla Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Sandler sucks. "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses." Elwood in The Blues Brothers "It tastes so good when it touches your lips!" Frank 'the Tank' in Old School Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Sandler sucks. You know what? You suck! jk, 'killa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Love this one from my boy Stiffler from American Wedding.. " C'mon.. don't f*** around, just relax.. and let it go. I'm sick of waiting,.. will you f***ing take a s*** already!!! **Afterwards still talking to Finch "Aw..f***ing right doggy, it's about damn time... JACKPOT!!" **Talking to Finch** "Now will you excuse me, I have some s*** to attend to." what a funny character he is.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scwible Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Office Space again. WHY DOES IT SAY PAPER JAM WHEN THERE IS NO PAPER JAM? I SWEAR TO GOD, ONE OF THESE DAYS I-I-I JUST KICK THIS PIECE OF s*** OUT THE WINDOW! You can listen to it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scwible Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From Strange Brew Bob: This movie was shot in 3-B! 3 Beers and it looks good, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Tizzle Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Cheech Marlin, From Dusk Till Dawn. SOLID! Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it! Risky Business: Every now and then say, "What the f***." "What the f***" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From Kindergarten Cop: Detective John Kimble : I Have a headache. Lowell : It might be a tumor. Detective John Kimble : It's not a tumor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnB Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 From the big lebowski: Walter Sobchak : I told those f***s down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos! Donny : What's Shabbos? Walter Sobchak : Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as s*** [shouts] Walter Sobchak : DONT f***ING ROLL! SHOMER SHABBOS! Walter Sobchak : Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. The Dude : f***in' Quintana... that creep can roll, man. Walter Sobchak : Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. The Dude : Yeah. Walter Sobchak : No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. The Dude : Oh! Walter Sobchak : When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast. Donny : What's a... pederast, Walter? Walter Sobchak : Shut the f*** up, Donny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santo=dorf Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Sandler sucks. My favorite Adam Sandler movie is that one where he acts all stupid, but then he runs into a girl that he likes, and then he tries to change his ways or does something to impress the girl, but then eventually she accepts him for being stupid, and everyone is happy. Does anyone know which Adam Sandler movie I'm talking about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerbaho-WG Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 The Dude : Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the f*** are you talking about? Walter Sobchak : Huh? No, what the f*** are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude. Donny : What the f*** is he talking about? The Dude : My rug. Walter Sobchak : Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element! The Dude : Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the f*** are you talking about? Walter Sobchak : What the f*** are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerbaho-WG Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 (edited) Uncle Rico : So what do you think? Kip : It's pretty cool, I guess. Uncle Rico : Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state. Napoleon Dynamite : This is pretty much the worst video ever made. Kip : Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. Uncle Rico : You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. Napoleon Dynamite : You guys are retarded! Napoleon Dynamite : I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could probably be drinking whole milk. I cried when I saw that. Edited September 3, 2004 by Cerbaho-WG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubsSuck1 Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 Uncle Rico : So what do you think? Kip : It's pretty cool, I guess. Uncle Rico : Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state. Napoleon Dynamite : This is pretty much the worst video ever made. Kip : Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. Uncle Rico : You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. Napoleon Dynamite : You guys are retarded! Napoleon Dynamite : I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could probably be drinking whole milk. I cried when I saw that. On the bus.. Kid: What are you going to do today, Napoleon? Napoleon: I'll do whatever I feel like, GOD! -- Kid in class: Napoleon, gimme some of your tots. Napoleon: No go find your own Kid: Cmon, gimme some of your tots. Napoleon: No, I didnt get to eat anything today! -- And the greatest part was when Uncle Rico threw the steak at his face. It was hilarious, I almost cried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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