Texsox Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 The Top 15 Signs That You *Haven't* Married a Millionaire (Part I) 15> Most people named Bubba haven't made it past "thousandaire." 14> He tells you that "finances are very complicated and you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about it," but you still don't see how a "liquidity problem" makes a millionaire drive a Ford Fiesta. 13> "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Chris White." 12> Guy in a limo asks you for Grey Poupon at the red light, but all you can find is an empty Yoo-Hoo bottle and some packets of Taco Bell hot sauce. 11> Got Silk? 10> You soon learn that "liquid assets" refers to the cash he gets from selling his blood. 9> Millionaire: money coming out the wazoo. Your spouse: fermented by-products of the improper digestion of canned pork & beans coming out the wazoo. 8> His "special imported caviar" looks suspiciously like Cheez Whiz and ground up Beer Nuts. 7> The pre-nup says he gets to keep the Chia Pets. 6> As you reach for the fancy canned peas, he gently steers you toward the "stunning neo-minimalist earthen packaging" of the generic brand. 5> The financial news report came on while you were making love in the living room, and he didn't miss a beat. 4> He winces visibly when you insist on supersizing your dinner. 3> The moving company calls the honeymoon suite at Motel 6 to inform you that your grandmother's baby grand won't fit through the door of the double-wide. 2> Two words: NASCAR coasters and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign That You *Haven't* Married a Millionaire... 1> Your new wife's previous life: famous Olympic figure skater Your new wife's current life: drunk b**** with hubcap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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