The Winter Break To Do List

[greasywheels121]

Courtesy of Collehumor.com....

 

The Winter Break To Do List

 

1. Get Dad to let me do easy work around the house so I don’t have to pick up crappy shifts at old job.

 

2. Bang hot girl from high school that I talked to on IM a few times over the semester.

 

3. Wear school hoodie and/or sweat pants as much as possible.

 

4. Convince Mom and Dad to let me take car back to school with me; use excuse that “I’m always late for Bio because it’s on other side of campus and the bus never comes on time.”

 

5. Avoid shoveling snow and/or raking yard by complaining of back pain; get Vicadin prescription to sell once back at school.

 

6. Eat as much non-diarrhea-causing food as possible.

 

7. Promise myself I will work out; sit on couch.

 

8. Complain about how boring town is after first three days.

 

9. Make unreasonable New Years plans with high school friend; end up at basement party thrown by said high school friend’s little brother.

 

10. Take advantage of Mom and Dad’s superior “Movies On Demand” digital cable package.

 

11. Craft believable lies about how cool my semester was to impress attentive high school friends. NOTE: make sure to offer to “totally call my roommate” in case high school friend doubts sincerity of story.

 

12. Protest loudly about decorating the house for Christmas since, “I’m only gonna be here for a few more weeks…what’s the point?”

 

13. Go through “history” on house computer; learn that little brother is interested in marine animals, rap music and Swedish girl-on-girl.

 

14. Convince parents that more money is needed to purchase textbooks for next semester; offer to “mail you the receipt if you don’t believe me.” NOTE: Do not mail receipt.

 

15. Make fun of “townie” friends that didn’t attend college; overlook the fact that they make much more money than I do.

 

16. Reminisce about High School at bar with old friend; use phrases such as, “Jeeeeeezus, did we really do that?,” “Man, I can’t believe how old we are,” and “Oh God, Shirley Hanson…Soooooo hot back then…I hear she had a kid.”

 

17. Drive past High School numerous times; wish I could go back and do it again. NOTE: Never admit to wishing to go back to High School.

 

18. Get extremely excited to see family dog; realize after ten minutes that he farts and drools all the time; put dog outside for rest of break.

 

19. Call college friends immediately after Christmas to brag about presents; pretend iPod is 40 Gig version when it is really 20 Gig version.

 

20. Wish break would end so I can get back to school and party; immediately after returning to school complain about workload and s***ty class schedule; wish it was break again.

[Soxy]

My fave isn't on there:

Run into old classmates or parents at Jewel--listen to their hard luck stories about how hard/unfair/blah, blah, blah college is and how they are currently back working at McDonalds

Edited December 15, 2004 by ChiSoxyGirl

[DBAHO]

Can I get a Summer Break To Do List?

[ZoomSlowik]

An important addition that I plan on doing-

 

Raid liquor cabinet full of stuff that isn't Smirnoff(replace with other cheap liquor as necessary) to simulate a college weekend (or Tuesday night, or whatever other excuse we find to drink).