Chisoxmatt Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 LONDON (Reuters) - Humming sex toy shuts Australian airport. Taiwanese man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten. Talking toilet orders German men to sit down. Chinese get busy signal on Beijing suicide line. Canadian guide dog barred for only answering its master's commands in French. Japanese boy writes apology in blood for dozing in class. Some other weird stuff: German police arrested a flasher who stumbled over his dropped trousers during an aborted attempt to flee. A cost-cutting German theatre was berated for using just four dwarves instead of seven in their Snow White show. A survey revealed that most German men wear the wrong size condoms. Germans said they find smelly co-workers to be the most annoying aspect of their jobs. UK nursing home staff were so proud of a 105-year-old woman who had smoked since the age of 15 that they cremated her with a packet of her favourite cigarettes in the coffin. A British train conductor stamped and carefully returned the ticket of a slumbering passenger without realising the man was dead. A South African radio reporter went a little more live than he anticipated when he was mugged on air for his mobile phone while transmitting from a local squatter settlement. A Norwegian court acquitted a man accused of raping a sleeping woman after he said he was also asleep at the time. All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an unsuccessful triple suicide bid after the youngest wife sparked jealousy by buying an expensive pair of boots. A Malaysian man shot his wife dead after he mistook her for a monkey picking fruit behind their house. A Spaniard tried to have his wife charged with domestic abuse because she refused to have sex with him on five consecutive nights. Two Italians with the nicknames Bull Shark and Nurse Shark donned bubble-helmet immersion suits to get married in a shark tank. But from Latin America to Africa, tainted love turned twice to tragedy. A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight and then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days. And a Zambian man hanged himself in shame after his wife rushed into their house to investigate a noise and found him having sex with a chicken. The chicken was slaughtered afterwards. I thought thesewere so funny i had to post them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerhead johnson Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 QUOTE (Chisoxmatt @ Jan 1, 2005 -> 08:31 PM) Germans said they find smelly co-workers to be the most annoying aspect of their jobs. Umm, yeah. I don't think that the Germans are alone on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 A Malaysian man shot his wife dead after he mistook her for a monkey picking fruit behind their house. Oh man! The old "I thought my wife was a monkey ploy." Why didn't I think of that one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxmatt Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 A Norwegian court acquitted a man accused of raping a sleeping woman after he said he was also asleep at the time. I thought that was pretty weird that he was aquitted. I also thought it was hilarious he would use an excuse that dumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LowerCaseRepublican Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Here's some more hilarity -- police blotters from this California town for 2004 http://www.lodinews.com/articles/2004/12/3...2004_041231.txt July 27, 4:10 p.m.: A 14-year-old girl in the 1300 block of South Lee Avenue received a slanderous letter from Santa. Dec. 21, 6:30 p.m.: A woman may have been attacking her furniture with a knife in the 500 block of Almond Drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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