3E8 Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Cubs' bad luck will continue-- at hands of Sox Rick Morrissey Published January 2, 2005 The new year opens up before us, full of promise, and even though it might turn out like all the other new years, full of disappointment and excess body hair, we push on, knowing that if the Red Sox can win a World Series, then it is entirely possible for us to be bequeathed $100 million by a crazy uncle who had insisted on being referred to as "Don Corleone" and who, unbeknownst to his relatives, had invested wisely in pork belly futures. But it probably will turn out like the other years. A lot of people found hope in Boston's accomplishment in 2004, in the way the Red Sox boldly came back from three games down to the Yankees in the AL Championship Series and in the way they scoffed at the Curse of the Bambino and dismissed the Cardinals. If Boston could win, the thinking went, then anything was possible--peace, ceaseless blue skies and a complete media blackout of "Apprentice" winner Bill Rancic. But there are those of us who see the situation differently. You can't miss us. We're the people wearing rain slickers on a sunny day. This is the way we look at it: So much energy had to go into nudging the Red Sox past 86 years of bad history that the cosmic forces responsible for it are absolutely spent. They need their personal time. It's written in their contracts: The gods must be lazy. We, of course, are talking about the Cubs, though in a roundabout way so as not to offend anyone two days into the new year. The Cubs Convention convenes later this month, which, as all longtime Cubs observers know, is the pinnacle of the year and a veritable Bacchanalia of naked ambition. Everything after the convention is downhill. It's hard to believe that, with the Red Sox stating their intentions to the world in 2004 ("Mr. Steinbrenner, tear down this wall!"), the Cubs could top it by winning a World Series in 2005. In fact, it's impossible to believe. I know what many of you are thinking: If A happened, then why can't B follow? Answer: Because B hasn't won a World Series since 1908 and hasn't played in one since 1945! Answer further explained: These are the Cubs! The biggest story of 2004 will not be followed by a Cubs title. It's asking too much. No, it's more than that. It's like something out of a bad movie. It's something out of "Alexander," the epic film in which Colin Farrell plays infielder Manny Alexander, Sammy Sosa's one-time teammate and caddie. A Cubs championship would be ridiculous after the Red Sox's impossible-to-believe story came true. Life doesn't work that way. Life limbers up by kicking the Cubs in the shins. So a bold prediction for 2005: The White Sox will win the World Series. This is the only way life could be any worse for the Cubs. And that is where you always go with this franchise. You go to wherever the maximum pain is. Five outs away from the World Series in 2003? Yes, that does hurt. The Red Sox, the Cubs' brother in futility, winning the Series in 2004? Thank you, sir, now hit me across the back of the legs with your cane. When the Red Sox stunned the Yankees in the ALCS, I wrote a column about it for the Tribune, with the Cubs' misery threading its way through the piece. Didn't mention the White Sox and their misery once. And heard about it from miserable Sox fans. How dare anyone dismiss their pain, they said. They hadn't won a World Series since 1917 and have had to live with the Black Sox scandal all these years. Surely that torture counts for something. Fair's fair, and Sox fans will be able to rub a World Series title in the faces of Cubs fans. You rightly ask: How, with that lineup and that budget, could the Sox win the Series? How, after trading Carlos Lee and not re-signing Magglio Ordonez, could the Sox win it all? Especially with that pitching staff? I have no idea. I just know that, in the grand scheme of things, it would make perfect sense. A Chicago team wins the World Series, and it's not the long-suffering Cubs. It's the almost-as-long-suffering Sox. (The standard Cubs fan would react typically--by pretending South Side fans don't exist and catching up with his old friend, pain.) So it's the Sox in seven games. Oh, yeah, over the Cubs. I almost left that part out. And if not this year, then next year. Always next year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 I read this article before obviously I like the part about the sox winning the series but this is such a dumb article. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 To me he is knocking the Sox as much if not more than the Scrubs... Fair's fair, and Sox fans will be able to rub a World Series title in the faces of Cubs fans. You rightly ask: How, with that lineup and that budget, could the Sox win the Series? How, after trading Carlos Lee and not re-signing Magglio Ordonez, could the Sox win it all? Especially with that pitching staff? I have no idea. I just know that, in the grand scheme of things, it would make perfect sense. A Chicago team wins the World Series, and it's not the long-suffering Cubs. It's the almost-as-long-suffering Sox. (The standard Cubs fan would react typically--by pretending South Side fans don't exist and catching up with his old friend, pain.) Basically giving the Sox pitching staff a knock and no love for the Offense...I suppose its to be expected in all since noone has seen this team play yet as it is now with the new direction they are headed....time will tell but yeah I would be happy as hell if the Sox would win the WS b4 the Scrubs do to keep them in misery.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Zelig Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 That jackass actually got got paid to write this article? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxmatt Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 That was one of the dumbest things i have ever read. It was mindless dribble. This guy is a complete moron. :finger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishmookie Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 we are ignored people...and suffering too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAWKisGOD Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 QUOTE(3E8 @ Jan 2, 2005 -> 02:01 PM) Especially with that pitching staff? That pitching staff? A rotation that is top 3 in the AL and a bullpen which maybe the best in the entire MLB is being knocked by a clear cut cubs fan that still doesnt have a decent arm in its bullpen? That makes me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3E8 Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 QUOTE(HAWKisGOD @ Jan 2, 2005 -> 04:47 PM) That pitching staff? A rotation that is top 3 in the AL and a bullpen which maybe the best in the entire MLB is being knocked by a clear cut cubs fan that still doesnt have a decent arm in its bullpen? That makes me laugh. I couldn't believe that either. 2004 showed the Cubs rotation and bullpen is anything but reliable. And Rusch is now the full-time 5th starter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Can't stand the guys yodeling, so I sure don't care about his baseball picks. Stupid Vegan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keninem Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 QUOTE(HAWKisGOD @ Jan 2, 2005 -> 10:47 PM) That pitching staff? A rotation that is top 3 in the AL and a bullpen which maybe the best in the entire MLB is being knocked by a clear cut cubs fan that still doesnt have a decent arm in its bullpen? That makes me laugh. Yeah, the one thing I'm excited MOST about this year is our pitching...can't wait to see our guys light it up and make people like this jackass eat their words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.