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Todd Helton Disappointed To Be On Area Man's Fantasy-Baseball Team

March 9, 2006 | Onion Sports

 

DENVER—Shortly after being selected in the second round of a local online fantasy-baseball draft, Rockies All-Star first-baseman Todd Helton announced Monday that he would much rather play for "any of the other 11 teams in the league." "I've played for this guy in the past, and he has no idea how to manage his team, and often loses interest and stops competing after just a couple months," Helton said, referring to Mets 4 Life owner and Trenton-area pizza-delivery man Ryan Sheehy. "Last season, I got off to a bit of a slow start, and the guy benches me the rest of the year in favor of Doug Mientkiewicz. I lose enough as a member of the Rockies. I just wish I could play for a capable manager like [The Damon Connection's] Mike Broberg or [smilin' Joe Randa's] Garrett Baldwin." Helton added that, if it were worth the effort to find a way to contact Sheehy, he would demand a trade.

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QUOTE(Gene Honda Civic @ Mar 10, 2006 -> 03:14 PM)
I feel so out of touch. I don't have a myspace, or a friendster, or a facebooker...

 

I didn't know Rowand44 worked on the Daily Show.

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2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and

it will be gone in two days.

 

So they're saying Coke helps digestion?

:D

 

I replaced the majority of my Coke consumption with water a few weeks ago and I generally feel better, my pants fit better and I don't get that mid-day drag anymore.

Edited by The Critic
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QUOTE(The Critic @ Mar 11, 2006 -> 10:30 PM)
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and

it will be gone in two days.

 

So they're saying Coke helps digestion?

:D

 

I replaced the majority of my Coke consumption with water a few weeks ago and I generally feel better, my pants fit better and I don't get that mid-day drag anymore.

 

If you do put meat in coke, it will dissolve, but it takes a few days, for a small piece of meat. A big T-Bone would take longer.

 

Get a 2 liter of coke and a tube of mentos and see what happens. pour the tube in a fresh bottle and enjoy your fountain.

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QUOTE(AddisonStSox @ Mar 12, 2006 -> 05:21 PM)
Did I just see T R U on the active member list?

 

My computer must not be working.

He's going to be making a post shortly, but he has been unbanned. I'll be explaining it in his post. I know we had a whole issue with jabroni coming back so he's going to make a post and than I'll respond saying he was allowed back into the site and why. That way everything is out in the open.

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Today was peanut day at our local Farm Fleet. They had boxes of peanuts around the building, and you could just throw the shells on the ground.

 

Also, we got golf ball sized hail last night. There's chunks of shingles on the ground, some pieces of patch concrete broken around the house, and some solar lights got completely trashed.

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What is up with this MySpace phenomenon. In my day, people who had their own webpages were just called nerds. Why cant people meet other people face to face, and what happened to the phone?

 

I miss the days of not having cell phones as well. Remember when you could actually wait for someone to call you back? Now, people get angry when they think you are ignoring their calls, texts, myspace bulletins, IMs.

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QUOTE(RockRaines @ Mar 14, 2006 -> 03:05 PM)
What is up with this MySpace phenomenon.  In my day, people who had their own webpages were just called nerds.  Why cant people meet other people face to face, and what happened to the phone? 

 

I miss the days of not having cell phones as well.  Remember when you could actually wait for someone to call you back?  Now, people get angry when they think you are ignoring their calls, texts, myspace bulletins, IMs.

It's all about instant gratification these days. I want it to end. AND I WANT IT TO END NOW, DAMMIT!!

 

:)

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QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Mar 14, 2006 -> 02:29 PM)
It's all about instant gratification these days.  I want it to end.  AND I WANT IT TO END NOW, DAMMIT!!

 

:)

 

I'm not crazy about your political views, but I love your sense of humor. :cheers

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