Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 The Wonders of God A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not. Along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy. The boy replied with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle."The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy, and began to try to open his eyes to the "realities" behind the miracles of the Bible. "That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across." The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible lying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation. "Wow!" Exclaimed the boy happily, "God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDavisFutureHOF Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Not sure if this is the correct place for this but I just got this in a PM from a member with 0 posts. "Hey, what's up? This site is just a few weeks old and already doing great. If you could do us a favor and check it out, it would be appreciated. Thanks. www._________.com" I dont want the site to get any added publicity so I left it blank. Just thought someone would want to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(BDavisFutureHOF @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 11:00 AM) Not sure if this is the correct place for this but I just got this in a PM from a member with 0 posts. "Hey, what's up? This site is just a few weeks old and already doing great. If you could do us a favor and check it out, it would be appreciated. Thanks. www._________.com" I dont want the site to get any added publicity so I left it blank. Just thought someone would want to know. Attack of the ThreadBots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(BDavisFutureHOF @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 10:00 AM) Not sure if this is the correct place for this but I just got this in a PM from a member with 0 posts. "Hey, what's up? This site is just a few weeks old and already doing great. If you could do us a favor and check it out, it would be appreciated. Thanks. www._________.com" I dont want the site to get any added publicity so I left it blank. Just thought someone would want to know. I have heard a number of people have received that. We are looking into it and the usual swift justice will be served. After all, we're all just Sox fans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 The Top 5 Rejected Children's Books About Death (Part II) 5> It's the Grim Reaper, Charlie Brown! 4> Tom Swift and His '76 Ford Pinto 3> Curious George Goes to the Morgue 2> The Bumperstain Bears and Topfive.com's Number 1 Rejected Children's Book About Death... 1> Heather Has Two Mommies -- One in a Vase on the Mantle and the Other on Death Row Join ClubTop5 to see the whole 16-item list and the Runner Up/Honorable Mention submissions for today's list: "The Boxerstain Bears" and "Horton Hears a Noose" http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(BDavisFutureHOF @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 11:00 AM) Not sure if this is the correct place for this but I just got this in a PM from a member with 0 posts. "Hey, what's up? This site is just a few weeks old and already doing great. If you could do us a favor and check it out, it would be appreciated. Thanks. www._________.com" I dont want the site to get any added publicity so I left it blank. Just thought someone would want to know. In honor of Queen week on American Idol... Steve walks warily down the street With his brim pulled way down low Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet Machine guns ready to go Are you ready hey are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip To the sound of the beat yeah Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust How do you think I'm going to get along Without you when you're gone You took me for everything that I had And kicked me out on my own Are you happy are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat Out of the doorway the bullets rip To the sound of the beat look out Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust Hey Oh take it - Bite the dust bite the dust Hey Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust ow Another one bites the dust he he Another one bites the dust haaaa Ooh shoot out There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man And bring him to the ground You can beat him You can cheat him You can treat him bad and leave him When he's down But I'm ready yes I'm ready for you I'm standing on my own two feet Out of the doorway the bullets rip Repeating to the sound of the beat Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust yeah Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust Shoot out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 ^^^^^^^^^^^^ I've paid my dues - Time after time - I've done my sentence But committed no crime - And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand kicked in my face - But I've come through We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world - I've taken my bows And my curtain calls - You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it - I thank you all - But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise - I consider it a challenge before the whole human race - And I ain't gonna lose - We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 OHHHH, I forgot to tell you the FINAL chapter of the Ruby vs Goldy fish story: So last week we moved (Jack) Ruby to a small tank so we could clean out and prepare the tank for the new goldfish we're going to buy for the kid. Guess what we found buried in the gravel?? Goldy's HEAD. No body, just a head. So apparently at least ONE betta fish can eat at least ONE goldfish. Luckily, our daughter was at school, so she didn't have to see Goldy's disembodied head. Tonight we buy two new goldfish to live in the larger tank while (Jack) Ruby lives out his remaining days in solitary confinement in the small tank. Serves him right....the savage...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Keep us updated. Quite the drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(The Critic @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 01:57 PM) OHHHH, I forgot to tell you the FINAL chapter of the Ruby vs Goldy fish story: So last week we moved (Jack) Ruby to a small tank so we could clean out and prepare the tank for the new goldfish we're going to buy for the kid. Guess what we found buried in the gravel?? Goldy's HEAD. No body, just a head. So apparently at least ONE betta fish can eat at least ONE goldfish. Luckily, our daughter was at school, so she didn't have to see Goldy's disembodied head. Tonight we buy two new goldfish to live in the larger tank while (Jack) Ruby lives out his remaining days in solitary confinement in the small tank. Serves him right....the savage...... There you go, starting rumors again. The betta may well have killed the goldfish, and after that may have picked at the body, but that is the extent of it. And the truth is that small dead fish decay amazingly rapidly warm freshwater. Poor goldy could have been really easily picked/shaken/tumbled apart within 12 hours of expiring with natoral decomposition helping out. You are just trying to frame poor Ruby, I know it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 02:50 PM) There you go, starting rumors again. The betta may well have killed the goldfish, and after that may have picked at the body, but that is the extent of it. And the truth is that small dead fish decay amazingly rapidly warm freshwater. Poor goldy could have been really easily picked/shaken/tumbled apart within 12 hours of expiring with natoral decomposition helping out. You are just trying to frame poor Ruby, I know it. How DARE you defend that fish, SIR!!! (Jack) Ruby is an EVIL, EVIL fish. A MURDERER,the worst kind of SAVAGE - a FISH-EATIN' FISH!!!! He'll never have the chance to EAT any other fish, though. He's been sentenced to LIFE in a SpongeBob mini-tank prison cell, without hope of parole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 02:50 PM) There you go, starting rumors again. The betta may well have killed the goldfish, and after that may have picked at the body, but that is the extent of it. And the truth is that small dead fish decay amazingly rapidly warm freshwater. Poor goldy could have been really easily picked/shaken/tumbled apart within 12 hours of expiring with natoral decomposition helping out. You are just trying to frame poor Ruby, I know it. what is natoral decomposition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(The Critic @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 04:04 PM) How DARE you defend that fish, SIR!!! He's been sentenced to LIFE in a SpongeBob mini-tank prison cell, without hope of parole. Dude! I think we have the same kids fish tank! The current occupants of our Mini Bikini Bottom are a pair of carnival-won goldfish named Porridge and Flip (yes, we let tthe kids name them). Previously, however, the tank was home to the bettas Dennis, Dennis II, and Dennis III, respectively. As far as the kids know, though, there was only one Dennis, who lived a very long time. And sometimes was red and somettimes was blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 04:50 PM) Dude! I think we have the same kids fish tank! The current occupants of our Mini Bikini Bottom are a pair of carnival-won goldfish named Porridge and Flip (yes, we let tthe kids name them). Previously, however, the tank was home to the bettas Dennis, Dennis II, and Dennis III, respectively. As far as the kids know, though, there was only one Dennis, who lived a very long time. And sometimes was red and somettimes was blue. I think this makes you a bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(Heads22 @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 04:53 PM) I think this makes you a bastard. Who, me? No, I just didn't want to upset the kiddies with pesky issues of pet mortality. Incidentally, if the kids ask, their former pet hamsters are doing just swell out at the hamster farm in the country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 05:14 PM) Who, me? No, I just didn't want to upset the kiddies with pesky issues of pet mortality. Incidentally, if the kids ask, their former pet hamsters are doing just swell out at the hamster farm in the country. I'm still trying to find out if my parents are telling me the truth about our dog that "ran away" when i was like 4 or 5. She was Kizzy, just a mutt, but she was the sweetest dog ever. The fact that she was 12 makes me doubt it a little, but oh well. I remember taking it hard and it still makes me sad. My parents still tell me to this day that when I was born, people would come over and babysit me to see the dog..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 12, 2006 Author Share Posted April 12, 2006 This reminds me of a story when this guy left on vacation and asked his brother, who was a little dim witted to watch his cat. A couple days into the vacation the guy called home and asked his brother how the cat was doing. The brother replied the cat dun got run over by the garbage truck and is dead. Devastated the brother yells, asshole don't you know how to break news like that? You should have told me the cat was lost, then maybe stuck on the roof, then maybe tell me she died. Jesus Christ, learn something. Hey, how's mom? Ahhh, she's lost or maybe on the roof . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniKrush Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Alright here's a true story from one of my friends. His sister is house sitting/dog sitting for this family while they are on vacation. Before the family leaves, they tell this girl (who's 16) that the dog is very sick and could actually die while they are gone. A few days into the vacation, the dog dies. This girl doesn't really know what to do...so she figures she'll take it to the vet or what not. Well this dog is gigantic, and this girl is pretty small - she can't carry it into the car. She decides to put the dog into a large suitcase to try to drag that to the car. She puts the dog in there, and starts to get it to the car. As she's struggling to get this thing up into a car, a person walking by says "Hey, do you need some help with that?" She says "sure." The guy walking by picks up the suitcase........and runs away with it, thinking he's getting off with some sweet stuff. She didn't yell at him or chase him or anything, because, well, there was a dead dog in there. Talk about sweet justice. Have fun with your dead dog, prick. Also, wouldn't you think the guy would kind of question why the hell she didn't scream or chase after him or anything? I think watching him lug this thing down the street would have been hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 QUOTE(IlliniKrush @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 05:36 PM) Alright here's a true story from one of my friends. His sister is house sitting/dog sitting for this family while they are on vacation. Before the family leaves, they tell this girl (who's 16) that the dog is very sick and could actually die while they are gone. A few days into the vacation, the dog dies. This girl doesn't really know what to do...so she figures she'll take it to the vet or what not. Well this dog is gigantic, and this girl is pretty small - she can't carry it into the car. She decides to put the dog into a large suitcase to try to drag that to the car. She puts the dog in there, and starts to get it to the car. As she's struggling to get this thing up into a car, a person walking by says "Hey, do you need some help with that?" She says "sure." The guy walking by picks up the suitcase........and runs away with it, thinking he's getting off with some sweet stuff. She didn't yell at him or chase him or anything, because, well, there was a dead dog in there. Talk about sweet justice. Have fun with your dead dog, prick. Also, wouldn't you think the guy would kind of question why the hell she didn't scream or chase after him or anything? I think watching him lug this thing down the street would have been hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heads22 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 HAHA, great story!!! Yeah, Jim, that's Jack Ruby's home now! Bikini Bottom is TOO GOOD for him!!! They should make a Rock Bottom tank for murderous bastards like him!!! And we just got home from the pet store, where we purchased Swimmy and Splashy - yes, I let her name her pets, too! ( Splashy is the more active one, OBVIOUSLY.... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Since I am 6 days post-extraction, I should be clear of developing dry socket, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnB Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 that new bon jovi song 'who says you can't go home' is way too catchy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBAHO Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 QUOTE(SnB @ Apr 13, 2006 -> 01:50 PM) that new bon jovi song 'who says you can't go home' is way too catchy Loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 13, 2006 Author Share Posted April 13, 2006 QUOTE(Queen Prawn @ Apr 12, 2006 -> 08:24 PM) Since I am 6 days post-extraction, I should be clear of developing dry socket, right? We talking about teeth? yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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