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Texsox

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Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Chicago[/font]

 

 

Forget Rednecks .....here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about .Chicago

 

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago

 

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago

 

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago.

 

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago

 

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I - 80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago.

 

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago.

 

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago

 

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago.

 

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago.

 

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago.

 

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago

 

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago.

 

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago.

 

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago

 

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago .

 

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends & others, you live in Chicago.

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QUOTE(Rex Kicka** @ Nov 21, 2006 -> 02:17 AM)
I ate whale last weekend.

 

NOOOOOO!!!!! o o

 

You wound me to the quick, Rex. I thought you were going to set those barbaric Icelnders right, not join them in their evil ways.

 

 

May King Triton have mercy on your soul. : :crying

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QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Nov 21, 2006 -> 03:45 PM)
NOOOOOO!!!!! o o

 

You wound me to the quick, Rex. I thought you were going to set those barbaric Icelnders right, not join them in their evil ways.

May King Triton have mercy on your soul. : :crying

 

baleen or sperm?

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QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Nov 21, 2006 -> 03:56 PM)
baleen or sperm?

 

If this is a legitimate question (rather than a bad joke), the answer is baleen, almost certainly minke. Iceland is planning on taking 38 of them this year as they resume whaling to the dismay of the rest of the world outside of japan and Norway. Japanese "scientific" whaling has also legally taken fin and sei whales, and has illegally taken humpback and even blue whales according to DNA recon done on whalemeat products purchased at market.

 

As far as I know only a few indiginous peoples hunt toothed whales. The Faroe islanders (an oceanic atoll between Iceland and Scotland) still take pilot whales on a sustencence scale, and some North American Inuit tribes take beluga. There's 100 ice-trapped beluga being taken by an Inuit village at this moment, as a matter of fact.

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Correct, Iceland is now fully admitting to commercial whaling, but strictly limiting the quota to between 30 and 40 whales. (30 minke and 9 fin). There are approximately 44,000 Minke Whales in Icelandic waters.

 

39 whales a year is a sustainable harvest of one of the few natural resources that Iceland has available to it to feed its population. And it was delicious.

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rexkickass

 

My pics from Iceland.

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QUOTE(Rex Kicka** @ Nov 21, 2006 -> 05:36 PM)
39 whales a year is a sustainable harvest of one of the few natural resources that Iceland has available to it to feed its population.

 

Come on now. Iceland?!! ICE!?? Send them some blue raspberry syrup and they can all live off of Sno Cones for the rest of their lives!

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November 21, 2006

 

 

The Top 5 Thanksgiving Dishes Served in Celebrity Homes

 

 

5> Mark Foley: bone-in rump roast with Blackberry™ sauce

 

4> Pat Sajak: veal! of! FORTUNE!!

 

3> Madonna: not-givin'-the-baby-back ribs

 

2> Donald Rumsfeld: a big helping of crow, with sour grapes

and humble pie

 

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1

Thanksgiving Dish Served in a Celebrity Home...

 

 

1> Michael Richards: one career, over easily

 

And I guess whale at Rex's and sno-cones at Jim's (make mine rootbeer or grape).

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QUOTE(3 BeWareTheNewSox 5 @ Nov 22, 2006 -> 01:14 AM)
I love fatwallet.com, just got a DVD burner under $15 for Staples

 

Just installed it, it's both DVD+ and - R, is there a better one? Will DVD players play either one?

 

 

DVD+ is supposed to be better because it came out after -. They'll play on most DVD players. I have used both for burning....uh...completely legal movies.... and never had a problem.

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Got a new cat today. Told Anne, my friend, that she could name it. She named it Lina, as in, Felina. Just Lina, though. It's a cute cat. It's a girl. Lina is tiny. Maybe six months. Runt and Greyback reacted different to her. Greyback was very friendly, just wanting to smell her. Runt hissed. I'd never heard Runt hiss before. I've never seen Runt as mad as she is today. I've seen her mad and jealous, like when Anne comes over, but not like this. Gave Lina a shower today, and I'll give her another so as to clean her feet because she still mildly stinks. That's what happens when you're abandoned and live in your own feces in a closet for a few weeks.

 

Good cat. Gotta protect her, though, but I'm tired. I think I'm going to bed way early tonight.

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I agreed to watch my brother's dog, who doesn't exactly get along with my dog, this weekend. (We never do Thanksgiving in my family until Sunday because multiple members of the fam work in industries that don't care that a Thursday in November is a holiday, but they can always request the Sunday after it off.)

 

He's off hunting. I don't do hunting.

 

So I've spent the past 5 hours trying to keep two dogs from killing each other. I didn't even remember that tonight is the best bar night of the year. I can't believe I'm giving up getting laid for this.

 

He owes me one hell of a Christmas gift.

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QUOTE(Leonard Zelig @ Nov 23, 2006 -> 12:23 AM)
How so?

 

I have no idea. I just said that because no one from admin has said anything yet. That's what we get when we depend upon a fascist regime...we need a democratic state of elected officials.

Vote for PA for President of Soxtalk :lol:

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QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Nov 22, 2006 -> 09:04 PM)
Got a new cat today. Told Anne, my friend, that she could name it. She named it Lina, as in, Felina. Just Lina, though. It's a cute cat. It's a girl. Lina is tiny. Maybe six months. Runt and Greyback reacted different to her. Greyback was very friendly, just wanting to smell her. Runt hissed. I'd never heard Runt hiss before. I've never seen Runt as mad as she is today. I've seen her mad and jealous, like when Anne comes over, but not like this. Gave Lina a shower today, and I'll give her another so as to clean her feet because she still mildly stinks. That's what happens when you're abandoned and live in your own feces in a closet for a few weeks.

 

Good cat. Gotta protect her, though, but I'm tired. I think I'm going to bed way early tonight.

 

 

Greyback makes me think of Grebeck which makes me think of Craig Grebeck which makes me think if I ever have a pet cat (not likely) I'll name it after a Sox middle infielder from the nineties.

 

Here Grebeck!!

 

Here Snopek!!

 

Here Paco!!

 

I kinda like that last one.

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QUOTE(Heads22 @ Nov 23, 2006 -> 12:53 AM)
Greyback makes me think of Grebeck which makes me think of Craig Grebeck which makes me think if I ever have a pet cat (not likely) I'll name it after a Sox middle infielder from the nineties.

 

Here Grebeck!!

 

Here Snopek!!

 

Here Paco!!

 

I kinda like that last one.

 

I friend of mine has a Boston Terrier named Paco. I doubt it's named for the middle infielder, this Paco can catch anything.

 

 

QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Nov 20, 2006 -> 08:05 AM)
Reply #5000. Wow. Who though this would be around still?

 

Every once in a while I will go to a random page in this thread, funny stuff. To borrow a page from PA, whomever thought of this thread is a genius and should be elected President.

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QUOTE(Texsox @ Nov 23, 2006 -> 07:50 AM)
I friend of mine has a Boston Terrier named Paco. I doubt it's named for the middle infielder, this Paco can catch anything.

Every once in a while I will go to a random page in this thread, funny stuff. To borrow a page from PA, whomever thought of this thread is a genius and should be elected President.

 

:lol: Second fiddle Tex...

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