Catch-All Anything Thread

[Rex Kickass]

For the record, Cheney has already shot down this "answer for their behavior" thing.

 

That quote by DeLay is the sound of someone throwing ANYTHING he can against the wall to get the country and his district to ignore the ethics violation upon ethics violation upon possible felony indictment heaped upon him.

 

Some people call it the "Rostenkowski moment."

[Texsox]

WTF?

 

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- The father of a serial killer is selling DVDs of his son's videotaped account of how he lured women to his house and strangled them.

 

Richard Paul White is serving life in prison without parole after pleading guilty in the slayings of three people. He told police he killed three others and buried them around the state, but he has not been charged in those cases.

 

Randolph "Duke" White said he has sold some copies of the confession, and plans to release a second DVD this summer that shows his son speaking to God after police left the interview room. It was not immediately clear how he obtained the videotape.

 

White said a portion of the revenue from the $39.95 DVD will go to the children of the victims. He said some money would also go to his grandchildren, who he said were traumatized when they had to testify before a grand jury about their uncle.

 

Larry Gonzales, the father of one victim, 27-year-old Annaletia Gonzales, said the White family should not earn money from the confession.

 

"He is making a profit off of my daughter. He should be getting nothing," Gonzales said.

 

Colorado has a law intended to keep anyone from making money from a crime. District Attorney Mitch Morrissey declined to comment Friday.

[southsider2k5]

Great T-shirt I saw today.

 

If you choke a smurf, what color does he turn?

[YASNY]

That quote by DeLay is the sound of someone throwing ANYTHING he can against the wall to get the country and his district to ignore the ethics violation upon ethics violation upon possible felony indictment heaped upon him.

 

Some people call it the "Rostenkowski moment."

 

 

I'd be inclined to agree with you on this one.

[southsider2k5]

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!

"Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"

 

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare. Eyes riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

 

Then a cowboy named Jack from Carmichael Saskatchewan stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

 

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt. One button at a time.

 

No one moves.

 

He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.

 

She gasps...

 

He whispers...."Iron this -- and then get me a beer."

[southsider2k5]

A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an insurgent soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert.

As first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened.

 

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover."

 

"What happened then?"

 

"I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scumbag, and he yelled back, 'Teddy Kennedy is a rich, good-for-nothing fat drunk.'"

 

"We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."

[Texsox]

[Soxy]

Ears bleeding, pain, pain, pain. Just heard a Tim McGraw cover of Tiny Dancer.

 

I'm going to have nightmares for a week....*shudder*

[Texsox]

Ears bleeding, pain, pain, pain. Just heard a Tim McGraw cover of Tiny Dancer.

 

I'm going to have nightmares for a week....*shudder*

 

OMG Tell me it ain't so. :puke and I listen to country.

[Texsox]

The Top 5 Band Sequels

 

5> Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, LLC

 

4> The Who Gives a s***?

 

3> Diaper Changin' Daddies

 

2> Bachman Turner Overhaul

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Band Sequel...

 

1> The Aunt Bea Gees

 

Join ClubTop5 to see the whole 18-item list:

http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml

 

==================================================================

 

Rumination of the Day

 

For some reason I always confuse

the words "marinate" and "masturbate."

Maybe that's why nobody likes my cooking.

 

(Scott E. Frank)

 

To subscribe to Ruminations: [email protected]

[Rex Kickass]

I gave my boyfriend a hickey on his forehead the other day.

 

It was an accident, I swear.

[Texsox]

Dear Nuke_Cleveland,

 

Early this afternoon, Senator Harry Reid, the Democratic Leader of the United States Senate, held a press conference on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court.

 

Thanks to you, there were a million people standing there with him.

 

That's how many dedicated individuals signed petitions and newspaper ads supporting Senator Reid's determined efforts to prevent Republican leaders from undermining democracy by making judicial nominations a narrow, one-party exercise.

 

I am proud to report that 236,498 of those signatures were submitted by you and other members of the johnkerry.com community. We added our nearly quarter of a million names to those collected by the Democratic National Committee, MoveOn.org and other citizens' groups.

 

We're acting together because we know what kind of judges will sit on the bench if George W. Bush never needs a single Democratic vote to win their confirmation. And we know what kind of decisions those judges will make - decisions that will define the meaning of freedom for decades to come.

 

Thank you so much for standing together with over a million other citizens in this effort.

 

We still have a lot of work to do before the Republican leaders abandon their so-called "nuclear option." But, you helped make a powerful statement yesterday when 2.1 million people saw our ad in USA Today - and today when you stood on the steps of the Supreme Court with Senator Reid.

 

Sincerely,

 

John Kerry

[Texsox]

I gave my boyfriend a hickey on his forehead the other day.

 

It was an accident, I swear.

 

On the forehead? damn, you suck

[Rex Kickass]

I used to rub off the eyebrows of my ex girlfriend.

[Texsox]

I used to rub off the eyebrows of my ex girlfriend.

 

BTW, how did he hide that hickey from co-workers?? Pretended to be Arab?

[Rex Kickass]

It was still there a day later.

[Texsox]

==================================================================

        T  H  E  T  O  P  F  I  V  E  L  I  S  T

              Somebody set us up the funny.

==================================================================

 

                      April 7, 2005

 

                  The Top 5 Band Sequels

                            (Part II)

 

5> Frankie Changes Planes and Proceeds to Hawaii

 

4> *NDEBT

 

3> Cheap Geriatrick

 

2> Tom Petty and the Heart Patients

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Band Sequel...

 

1> Counting Crows Feet

 

          Join ClubTop5 to see the whole 18-item list:

        http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml

 

==================================================================

 

                  Rumination of the Day

 

                My mom just told me she became a

              septuagenarian on her last birthday.

              It's her life, so I guess she can do

              whatever she wants.  I just hope she

                doesn't give them all her money.

 

                      (Jim Pollard)

 

To subscribe to Ruminations:  [email protected]

[Soxy]

Wooo, party Wisconsin style....

 

Earth's Oldest Known Object on Display

 

By RYAN J. FOLEY, Associated Press Writer

 

MADISON, Wis. - A tiny speck of zircon crystal that is barely visible to the eye is believed to be the oldest known piece of Earth at about 4.4 billion years old.

 

For the first time ever, the public will have a chance to see the particle Saturday at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where researchers in 2001 made the breakthrough discovery that the early Earth was much cooler than previously believed based on analysis of the crystal.

 

To create buzz about an otherwise arcane subject, the university is planning a daylong celebration of the ancient stone — capped with "The Rock Concert" by jazz musicians who composed music to try to answer the question: What does 4.4 billion years old sound like?

 

"This is it — the oldest thing ever. One day only," said Joe Skulan, director of the UW-Madison Geology Museum, where the object will be displayed — under police guard — from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. "The idea of having a big celebration of something that's so tiny — we're playing with the obvious absurdity of it."

 

With the aid of a microscope, anyone will be able to check out the tiny grain, which measures less than two human hairs in diameter.

 

A concert by Jazz Passengers, a six-piece group from New York hired to compose music for the event, will follow on Saturday evening. In posters hanging on campus, the concert is advertised as "a loving musical tribute to the oldest known object on Earth."

 

Composer Roy Nathanson said the concert will mix humor, jazz music, computer-generated beats, and the occasional rocks being banged together to "follow the geological history of how this zircon came about."

 

"It's an amazing story. The whole thing is something that captures your imagination," said Nathanson, 53, a saxophonist who spent one year composing the performance.

 

Analysis of the object in 2001 by John Valley, a UW-Madison professor of geology and geophysics, startled researchers around the world by concluding that the early Earth, instead of being a roiling ocean of magma, was cool enough to have oceans and continents — key conditions for life.

 

"It's not very much to look at because it's so very small. But to me, the miraculous thing about the crystal is that we've been able to make such wide-ranging inferences about the early Earth," Valley said. "This is our first glimpse into the earliest history of the Earth."

 

Valley found that the planet had cooled to about 100-degrees Centigrade less than 200 million years after it was formed. Before the research, the oldest evidence for liquid water on the planet was from a rock estimated to be much younger — 3.8 billion years old.

 

As part of Saturday's event, Valley will display a brand new, $3 million ion microprobe that he and other researchers will use to analyze tiny samples such as the zircon crystal. The hand-built instrument weighs 11 tons and takes up an entire laboratory.

 

Valley, who has tried to obtain the equipment for 22 years, had to travel to Scotland and Australia while he analyzed the zircon to use equipment there. A federal grant is paying for most of the new instrument.

 

After the festivities the object will return to its native Australia with Simon Wilde, professor at Curtin University of Technology in Perth, Western Australia, who made its discovery in 1984. The sample will eventually be put on display at a natural history museum in that country.

[Texsox]

My understanding is they found a small hair stuck to the speck. DNA testing confirmed it was from Dick Clark

[Rex Kickass]

*rimshot*

[Texsox]

*rimshot*

 

Would it have been funnier if I said Hernandez?

[Rex Kickass]

Joke of the day...

 

How many people work at *insert workplace here*?

[Texsox]

Joke of the day...

 

How many people work at *insert workplace here*?

 

about half.

 

That was found inscribed on the rock above

Edited April 8, 2005 by Texsox

[qwerty]

Hpsjrawhgikohjmio,k'wqk yhksdSGl;ml;dSGMPEKKGDSKEFEFXAFKDSFACFXMCXZCXDZFGHFZDGFHDZDFGH :finger T T UT :finger :finger :finger finger :finger :headshake

 

EXPLAINS THE LAST TWO f***ING DAYS OF MY LIFE CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY s***TIER.

[witesoxfan]

Hpsjrawhgikohjmio,k'wqk yhksdSGl;ml;dSGMPEKKGDSKEFEFXAFKDSFACFXMCXZCXDZFGHFZDGFHDZDFGH :finger T T       UT   :finger  :finger  :finger    finger            :finger  :headshake

 

EXPLAINS THE LAST TWO f***ING DAYS OF MY LIFE CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY s***TIER.

 

I feel for you man.