pain and death

[hi8is]

kind of a odd post, i know... but hey... f*** it, as you all probably know by now... im odd....

 

in the last 3 months....

1. i had to inform my best friend that his girlfriend is f***ing some other dude and tried to f*** me... she was one of my best friends as well, not anymore

2. my dad has been in the hospital 2 times and looks like he isnt doing too well still

3. my mom is going through minapause and is a complete reck

4. i lost my girlfriend because some asshole f***ed her up before we started our relationship... that whole, i was just cheated on, and now i cant trust you deal....

5. i almost died on wednesday night from asfixeation (that deal when you punk in your sleep and choke on your vomit... yeah, if my mom didnt for some strange reason check to see if i was ok, id be gone.)

6. (a good thing but hard to do...) im not drinking anymore

 

soooooo... all that s*** is why i figured i wanted to bring up a topic like this....

 

i think that pain can be a healthy thing... it also can be a dangerious.... after almost unintentionally killing myself... and accually seeing that event for what it was, and what it could have been.... and being in the middle of so many painful events... something about it makes you feel alive like never before... i think you realise how fragile life is and you get these moments (even if they only last seconds) of complete inspiration...

 

its hard to explain, but for instance, i was on my patio in the pouring rain today, playing an acoustic guitar.... im not that great, just ok... but the riff i was playing came out of know where... it was simple, and just flowed out of me.... it was pretty f***ing dark but very powerful.... it came outta no where.... the rain just f***ing pouring while that s*** was pouring out of me... it felt great....

 

if youve read this far, i dont know for sure what the hell your all thinking... but you must have too much time on your hands....

 

i think the main reason i started this thread was to vent... so if you care to comment or can relate.. fell free to reply.... should be intresting

wow, me... posting something personal, on soxtalk... first time ever wow

yes, i am human... whoda thunk it?

 

king crimson - Larks Tongues In Aspic (great cd)

[The Beast]

It all happens to the best of us, man.

 

Personally, I haven't been happy since 2000. I've had some times that I've been happy, but bullies, ex-gf's and haters have ruined the teen part of my life.

 

I refuse to drink or smoke, though I wouldn't say I nearly would have tried it. I believe that its immoral to do so, even if it is in the form of having a good time at a party.

 

Pain in my life usually occurs once every two weeks and lasts for quite some time.

 

I find that by talking with friends and my parents that things work out, but a counselor always helps.

 

Sometimes I'm lonely too, and that can lead to a bunch of random badness of depressed feelings.

 

I think Metal and harder music isn't that good for me right now, so I think I've been switching over to softer "question everything" music...

 

Thats kinda it, and it is how it is.

[hi8is]

sounds like some good ol' TOOL - third eye would be a good song for you to listen to right now.

[The Beast]

sounds like some good ol' TOOL - third eye would be a good song for you to listen to right now.

Metal isn't what I'm listening to because that actually made me more depressed.

 

I guess you could say I'm an emo/rock kid...(only emo because of my towns local band FIAD)

[hi8is]

u like the mars volta or coheed and cambria at all?

 

i wouldnt really classify tool as metal but, to each his/her own

[The Beast]

u like the mars volta or coheed and cambria at all?

 

i wouldnt really classify tool as metal but, to each his/her own

still a little depressing.

[Heads22]

Beastly,

 

I dunno why but the first 3 years of high school were fun but they sucked at the same time. You can tell now among the seniors that they realize this is the last time we'll see each other.

 

If you guys just went to a high school my size you'd be forced to like each other. I also think going out for basketball was one of the best choices I ever made. Of course I never thought we'd suck to the extent that I play as much as I do, but it was neat to get an ovation last nite. You've got to learn to care less what other people think. A couple of years ago I was the nerdy smart kid that wanted to be part of the "cool kids" and sorta was but sorta wasn't. Being part of a team kind of forces ya to talk and make friends with each other, and going to a small HS you won't get out of it. I found out both basketball captains voted for me to be team captain and I missed it by one vote (damn juniors ). I'm tennis team captain. Would I have planned on any of this say as a sophomore or a junior? No, I was depressed too a lot of the time. But I went out for basketball as a junior and it's been uphill ever since. I know I've just been rambling but I feel really good now.

 

I guess the biggest thing I learned is you gain nothing out of feeling sorry for yourself or trying to make other people feel sorry for yourself.

[aboz56]

Oh, to be young again...

 

Who I am kidding? I'm only 22.

[The Beast]

I don't think I'm going to play football next year.

 

Too many sacrifices, I guess. There's much more to life as a teen for the last 2 years before college than high school sports.

 

I think next year with my schedule somewhat packed and...journalism and radio (writing for the paper and broadcasting) will be very fun.

 

Its just sometimes hard, you know? or not?

[aboz56]

I don't think I'm going to play football next year.

 

Too many sacrifices, I guess. There's much more to life as a teen for the last 2 years before college than high school sports.

 

I think next year with my schedule somewhat packed and...journalism and radio (writing for the paper and broadcasting) will be very fun.

 

Its just sometimes hard, you know? or not?

Trust me man, just try to be involved as much as you can and have fun.

 

High school and college are 2 of the best times of your life.

 

When you get into the real world, like I did recently, you will realize how much you miss school.

[Heads22]

Yeah, just try and get yourself involved.

[The Beast]

Trust me man, just try to be involved as much as you can and have fun.

 

High school and college are 2 of the best times of your life.

 

When you get into the real world, like I did recently, you will realize how much you miss school.

being the sports writer/editor at our school will give me a voice that will last with me for sometime.

 

memories of 2 years with football will be good too. i'm just not committed to 6:30 practices all summer with no fun at night...

 

and you know? radio is going to be sweet! i'm already getting some notices from colleges for my shows. (i dunno how, but it happens)

[aboz56]

being the sports writer/editor at our school will give me a voice that will last with me for sometime.

 

memories of 2 years with football will be good too. i'm just not committed to 6:30 practices all summer with no fun at night...

 

and you know? radio is going to be sweet! i'm already getting some notices from colleges for my shows. (i dunno how, but it happens)

I just don't like to hear that any young person is depressed. It happens a lot, far too much.

 

Somethings you can control, others you cannot. There are going to be good days and bad days. The most important thing is to be able to wake up everyday with a positive attitude and just try your best to have fun.

[Heads22]

I dunno, I kinda think being Newspaper Editor is a pain in the ass more than Bball....lol

[The Beast]

I dunno, I kinda think being Newspaper Editor is a pain in the ass more than Bball....lol

for someone who doesn't like working out LOTS, and getting up early and who believes in living a healthy lifestyle, varsity isn't for me.

 

I'm going to have lots of fun, cuz writing really comes easy to me.

[Heads22]

It must be different at your school cause theres 0 working out and we had one morning practice.

[hi8is]

high school, i always wonder what high school is like.

i graduated high school at the ripe old age of 15... i was about 1 month into my sophmore year when i started going to community college.

 

needless to say, i got into pretty much everything at a young age... sex, drugs, rock and roll... i think at about 16, every possible ounce of innocence had been lost in me....

 

whenever i get the chance, i always try to tell people i see in high school who "hate" it to enjoy it as much as they can... i always wonder what my life would be like if i would have not chose to go to college so soon... i also wonder what my life would be like if i would have stuck in school and had better guidance to get me there.... i mean, s***... i could be a 22 year old with a masters degree! heh

[The Critic]

Trust me man, just try to be involved as much as you can and have fun.

 

High school and college are 2 of the best times of your life.

 

When you get into the real world, like I did recently, you will realize how much you miss school.

I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule, but HS and the bit of college I attended sucked ass.

I went to a HS outside of my own neighborhood, and everybody there were a bunch of f***ing racists. I'm Caucasian, but almost ALL of my friends were ( and still are ) Hispanic, so to be around a bunch of neanderthal narrow-minded halfwits was NO fun at all. I never found any meaningful friendships there and decided to get my diploma in the Principal's office rather than walk the stage with all those f***tards.

And college was a drag - just more awful teachers and no motivation to do anything. Cash the check, then f*** you.

The "real world" for me is SO much better - I just come in to work, put in 7.5 good hours, and get back home to my family. Right now is WAY better for me than my so-called "coolest years". ( A big f*** you to VH1 too, while I'm at it....)

[LDF]

thanksgiving 1999 what i consider to be my stepmom, she died of a sudden heart attack

 

xmas 1999 my brother died of a heart attacked

 

march 19, 2000 who i consider to be my stepfather yeah the ladies husband, died of a heart attack.

 

 

you have to understand the relationship i had with this husband and wife, they were my best friend parents and what we gone thru, i was their so called adopted child as they were my so called step parents.

 

those were the some tough times for me. later in march 2000 i found out that my mother had a brain tumor and she is still doing great, and i retired on april 2, 2000. i needed to think on what is life and what it means to me.

 

my feelings is family is the best and never go to bed without telling them that you love them, those express feelings may be the last time.

[SoxAce]

I'd rather not post in this thread on a deep matter. Too many deaths I've seen/heard from and been through a ton of pain (mentally and phisically) in my life. Scary.. life is.. scary.

 

Great thread though hi8is.

[hi8is]

thanksgiving 1999 what i consider to be my stepmom, she died of a sudden heart attack

 

xmas 1999 my brother died of a heart attacked

 

march 19, 2000 who i consider to be my stepfather yeah the ladies husband, died of a heart attack.

you have to understand the relationship i had with this husband and wife, they were my best friend parents and what we gone thru, i was their so called adopted child as they were my so called step parents.

 

those were the some tough times for me. later in march 2000 i found out that my mother had a brain tumor and she is still doing great, and  i retired on april 2, 2000. i needed to think on what is life and what it means to me.

 

my feelings is family is the best and never go to bed without telling them that you love them, those express feelings may be the last time.

wow man, i cant even imagne that bro... how did you dig yourself outta the hole that those evens put you in?

 

im just having trouble throwin the switch... you know, intsead of falling asleep on the couch watching tv... accually going to bed, setting the alarm... getting up and doing productive things instead of moaping around just floating through life.

[LDF]

wow man, i cant even imagne that bro... how did you dig yourself outta the hole that those evens put you in?

 

im just having trouble throwin the switch... you know, intsead of falling asleep on the couch watching tv... accually going to bed, setting the alarm... getting up and doing productive things instead of moaping around just floating through life.

 

 

a great family and many visits to the doctors office

[hi8is]

a great family and many visits to the doctors office

i saw a psycologist for a while it was helpful... i saw him after i got outta the UCLA pscyeatric ward for a drug induced pscyosis... i took shrooms and never came down... so i was a self proclamed spirital teacher that was going to go on a journey from califiornia to washington dc and protest the war by fasting once i got there (this was in febuaray right before the iraq war started.)

i thought it was a good idea and all.. i was in a great state of being, really peaceful, loving, open, honest... just scared the s*** outta my folks... the pscyoloigst helped out a lot in making me understand that because they treated me like a loony in that place, that i really wasnt insane... just a little to outside of the box for society... they gotta make sure your standing in line instead of running around telling everyone to run around with you... not litterally =D

 

i just dont think i need a psycologist right now, i just need to some how pull my head outta my ass and change.

[Rex Kickass]

high school, i always wonder what high school is like.

i graduated high school at the ripe old age of 15... i was about 1 month into my sophmore year when i started going to community college.

 

needless to say, i got into pretty much everything at a young age... sex, drugs, rock and roll... i think at about 16, every possible ounce of innocence had been lost in me....

 

whenever i get the chance, i always try to tell people i see in high school who "hate" it to enjoy it as much as they can... i always wonder what my life would be like if i would have not chose to go to college so soon... i also wonder what my life would be like if i would have stuck in school and had better guidance to get me there.... i mean, s***... i could be a 22 year old with a masters degree! heh 

 

High school did suck. I haven't kept touch with a single person from HS. Maybe its because they wouldn't talk to me when I went to school with them. However, college was high up on the awesomeness factor. There were a couple years where the music that mattered to me mattered to others too, and people thought I was cool for what I found important - which at the time was mostly music. I think mostly, though, it was because I had awesome friends - which is something I didn't have before.

 

After I left school, it took a while to find my place. Hated Kansas and Indiana and Northern Michigan, liked Lansing, MI and Europe and loving life right now in New Jersey. Even though I'm not a huge fan of my job, my life right now is actually satisfying, and the best part is when I get home from work, I'm home from work.

[DBAHO]

I'd be lying if I didn't say there weren't times in life where I was feeling really down on myself and wasn't exactly enjoying life (being overseas in a strange country for a month without your family will probably do that for you), but you just gotta take the good with the bad I guess, and take each day as it comes.

 

Hell, no offense for anyone else here on these boards, but there's no doubt it's the hardest for me to be a Sox fan, without hardly getting to see them or watch them play, without the internet and SoxTalk, I'd have no contact with them whatsoever. But just try to enjoy life and the times and oppurtunities you have, that's the best advice I could give on the subject.