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How to destroy the Earth.


Kid Gleason

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lol

Comments: My good friend Rob rightly informs me that this course of action does not strictly speaking "destroy" the Earth - there is no actual destruction event in which the Earth goes from existing to not existing. What one ends up with instead is a universe in which the Earth does not and never did exist.

 

Destroying Rob proved remarkably easy.

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Just saw this part:

 

Things which will NOT destroy the Earth

Armageddon, as described in the Bible. Fieari writes, "Armageddon does not destroy the Earth, nor even everyone on it. One third of the human population is wiped out repeatedly (at least one third of one third) but then not only does the remnant survive, but God's people return from heaven and get to live in a city roughly the size of half the [united States - thanks Dave Babbitt for this correction]. This is as far from your definition of "destroying the Earth" as you can reasonably get, as the planet is still there AND people still live on it."

 

Paradoxes as described in Back To The Future Part II. By definition, a paradox cannot actually come into existence.

 

Ceasing all thought (if the Earth is not observed, then how can it exist?). Philip K. Dick said it best: "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

 

Detonating all the nuclear weapons ever created simultaneously, either all at one location or strategically placed around the globe. This will irradiate pretty much the entire globe and cause a nuclear winter but will actually destroy very little of the planet itself.

 

Proving that 1=0. If one did indeed equal zero, so it is reasoned, then since there is one Earth, there must be zero Earths... so, if one could prove it, the Earth would cease to exist. This is specious logic. Finding a proof in mathematics does not magically change a fact from being false to being true. It merely verifies rigorously as true a fact that always was true. Thus, if 1=0 could be proved, then it would always have been true and the Earth should never have existed. But Earth is still here. QED.

 

Runaway fission at the Earth's core, as proposed by Tom Chalko. There is no fission going on at the Earth's core. Besides which, if a nuclear explosion did occur at the core, it would be insulated from the surface by sixty-three hundred kilometres of liquid iron. Thanks to Rudy Hasspacher for bringing this entertaining piece of crackpottery to my attention.

 

Gay marriage.

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