Steff Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures." 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 03:10 PM) 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. Only in America.......do they call them "ATM machines", unlike ATV's which they never call All Terrain Vehicle vehicles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 09:10 PM) 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. So? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonWeltall Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 I buy hotdogs in packages of 8. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WHarris1 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 QUOTE(Brian @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 07:10 PM) So? Point is you are consuming a fatty cheeseburger and fatty fries, and acting as if a Diet Coke compensates for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 QUOTE(CrimsonWeltall @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 09:44 PM) I buy hotdogs in packages of 8. Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Also: Only in America......Do they have old black men with tall grey hair say "Only In America!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures." Bloodsucking parasites fits better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. I do this, but it's because I prefer the taste of Diet Coke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 QUOTE(WHarris1 @ Mar 5, 2005 -> 02:02 AM) Point is you are consuming a fatty cheeseburger and fatty fries, and acting as if a Diet Coke compensates for it. I actually like Diet Coke's tatse over regular Coke. If some places had regular Pepsi, I'd get that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 'Call Waiting' is used like an anwering machine. To weed out the people you DON'T want to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonkeyKongerko Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 ATM Machines, PIN Numbers, so much unnecessary redudancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubKilla Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Only in America can you murder another human being in the most heinous of fashion and have it be EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT but your own. Only in America does an athlete playing a kid's game get paid hundereds of millions of dollars and a cop of firefighter gets paid a salary sometimes slightly above the poverty line. Only in America is the US government blamed for radicals flying jets into buildings. I could go on and on. As great as this country is, there are certain aspects of it that are truly f***ed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgeportHeather Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 03:10 PM) 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. That's the beauty of Caller ID. When I get another call at the moment I'm already on the phone, the phone number of the person calling me shows up on my Caller ID screen, and I can decide then if I wanna talk to them or not. If not, they probably leave a message on my voice mail, which I never check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Mar 4, 2005 -> 03:10 PM) 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. On a similiar note, I once went into a restaurant and saw a sign that said, "Picture menus are also available." Stop and think about that for a second... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 O.K., this was posted on another site I read all the time: Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION.... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 9 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolates. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 8 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars. And finally... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.... RULE BRITANNIA!! Soooooo, it looks like it is NOT "Only In..." now then is it??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamTell Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Hey, Britain gets pizza quicker too. WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.... Talk about adding injury to insult Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. I had my first DEEP FRIED TWINKIE at the county fair this weekend. Amazing somebody found a way to make them even worse for your health. I had it with confectioner's sugar on top to boot, but I declined the chocolate sauce. Of course, I ordered a Diet Coke to go with it to keep my girlish figure... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Mar 7, 2005 -> 01:01 PM) O.K., this was posted on another site I read all the time: Soooooo, it looks like it is NOT "Only In..." now then is it??? "Only on Earth"..... ...unless you check some Martian websites, too.... Then it becomes "Only in the Universe".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Mar 7, 2005 -> 01:51 PM) I had my first DEEP FRIED TWINKIE at the county fair this weekend. Amazing somebody found a way to make them even worse for your health. I had it with confectioner's sugar on top to boot, but I declined the chocolate sauce. Of course, I ordered a Diet Coke to go with it to keep my girlish figure... I have ya beat! I had a fried Twinkee on the same day as I tried some deep fried Oreo's!!! Those are some dang fine eats though! Sure, if you tried eating more than the one (O.K., I had three Oreo's though...and a corn dog), you would puke, but ya know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodAsGould Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(CubKilla @ Mar 5, 2005 -> 07:11 PM) Only in America does an athlete playing a kid's game get paid hundereds of millions of dollars and a cop of firefighter gets paid a salary sometimes slightly above the poverty line. apparently you never heard of a sport that the rest of the world calls football and we call soccer...... :headshake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 I had a buddy named Zoran. Zoran was from what was once Yugoslavia. When Zoran lived in Yugoslavia he was one of the top Soccer players there. He packed up his bags and moved to the US to grind tools so that he could make some real money. According to him, he didn't get paid crap, but he did get to go to the front of the line at the passport check at the airport on his way over. He also got freebies and such, but the pay was not all that great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxy Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Mar 7, 2005 -> 03:23 PM) I had a buddy named Zoran. Zoran was from what was once Yugoslavia. When Zoran lived in Yugoslavia he was one of the top Soccer players there. He packed up his bags and moved to the US to grind tools so that he could make some real money. According to him, he didn't get paid crap, but he did get to go to the front of the line at the passport check at the airport on his way over. He also got freebies and such, but the pay was not all that great. He was probably thinking of the big Premiereship leagues with teams like Real Madrid, ManU, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted March 7, 2005 Author Share Posted March 7, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Mar 7, 2005 -> 03:23 PM) I had a buddy named Zoran. Zoran was from what was once Yugoslavia. When Zoran lived in Yugoslavia he was one of the top Soccer players there. He packed up his bags and moved to the US to grind tools so that he could make some real money. According to him, he didn't get paid crap, but he did get to go to the front of the line at the passport check at the airport on his way over. He also got freebies and such, but the pay was not all that great. Beckam seems to do alright for himself. Is he an exception to the norm? I don't know anything about soccer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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