Spank Your Child....

[HuskyCaucasian]

Spanking debate one-sided among experts

By Dave Orrick Daily Herald Staff Writer

Posted 3/8/2005

When Sheldon Cotler scratches his head and tries to recall a scientific study showing the benefits of spanking, the DePaul University child psychology professor is at a loss.

 

"Some of these studies date back to the 1950s," he said.

 

And the conclusions: Spanking doesn't do much good, and it might do harm.

 

"Where the psychology literature falls is that you're demonstrating to children that aggression is a response to misbehavior and you're modeling that behavior for your children," Cotler said.

 

"There isn't any good evidence in the literature that it helps, other than it'll temporarily suppress the behavior through fear. But if you're looking at long-term consequences, spanking doesn't teach."

 

Yet countless parents - and even some private schools - still endorse or even require a smack on the behind for discipline.

 

These two opposed ideas clashed last week in the Northwest suburbs when officials with Schaumburg Christian School gave an ultimatum to Glendale Heights mother Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson.

 

Spank your 6-year-old son, Chandler Fallaw, who had been talking too much in class, or we'll suspend him, they told her. Fallaw-Gabrielson decided to pull her son out of the private school. She's home-schooling him at least until she moves to Aurora next month.

 

"I just don't feel comfortable doing it," she said, adding that she tried spanking her son several times after school officials suggested it.

 

The school is affiliated with Bethel Baptist Ministries.

 

The school's discipline guidelines say the school has "full discretion" when it comes to discipline and discipline can include "parent-administered corporal punishment."

 

Randy Thaxton, a school administrator who has been at the school for 22 years, said Monday the recent attention, including that of the national media, to the school spanking option hasn't lead him to doubt its disciplinary agreement, which is signed by at one least parent of everyone of the 565 children in grades one through six. Those students are covered by the spanking option. Nor, he said, can all the academic and clinical studies in the world shake his belief that spanking is proper for some children.

 

"The Bible teaches it," he said of corporal punishment. "That's really the only reason we need ... I'm all for knowledge: math, science, English, history. But human knowledge is not the answer to the world's problems. The Bible is the answer to the world's problems."

 

That faith and corporal punishment makes the school something of an anachronism, Cotler said, noting that over the years, local and state governments have gradually outlawed corporal punishment at public schools and many private schools have ended its practice. Illinois forbade the practice in public schools in the mid-1990s.

 

"There was a time obviously when corporal punishment was the norm," he said. "Now it's dropped out of our educational system, and here you have a school that's asking parents to do it."

 

But child development experts agree that studies - no matter how scientific and accepted among academics - don't dictate how most parents raise their children.

 

Bob Cooper, executive director of the Tennyson Center for Children at Colorado Christian Home in Denver, said even though agencies that support his school and youth home don't tolerate corporal punishment, some immigrants from other cultures who send their children there expect it.

 

He said it's hard to find the balance between scientific studies, parental rights and some biblical interpretations that encourage a swat on the tush, often based on the adage "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

 

"My personal belief as a Christian is that (spanking) would not be the practice that I would encourage families to use as discipline," he said. "But professionally, I have to respect other parents' decisions."

[Steff]

Boy.. things sure have changed from when I was a kid.

[EvilJester99]

No doubt my parents use to whip the s*** out of me when I was out of line. Now a days you can't touch your kid without someone wanting to call the cops on ya. They wonder why kids are friggin out of control.

[JUGGERNAUT]

Corporal punishment is really just another form of physical consequence.

It should only be used as a last resort. This story seems to suggest that's the point at which the school has reached with this child.

 

Normally you should try to convince with dialogue the meaning behind correct behavior with your child. You should do this with reinforcement by example of your own life & the life of others. The belief is that if you do this often enough the majority of kids will take to it.

 

But not all kids are the same. There are those who will rebel simply because they like to do so. It's a question of selfishness vs discipline.

It takes discipline to be quiet in class & selfishness breeds chatter in class.

When a child refuses to accept discipline, mocks discipline, or disrespects it then you have no other choice but to create a conseqence for that. The two most common consequences are suspension of allowance & grounding.

It is only after these fail on a consistent behavior that physical discipline is the only option (next to therapy of course).

 

Ah, but here's the problem. Most kids lives are so well planned by the parents that there is little room for grounding or suspension of allowance.

If you have your kid signed up to do a boat load of activities grounding has little impact. If your kid needs their allowance for those activities that's not an option either.

 

Spanking is considered the least harmful form of physical discipline because by & large for most kids the posterior can withstand the greatest amount of damage & recover in the quickest amount of time. However in this day & age a parent can not ignore the % of kids who are suffer real harm from the act or who develop a sense of sexual gratification from it.

In that regards it's outdated & other forms of physical discipline would be preferred:

1 - horse bites : you simply pull the skin up & twist. Very effective, no long term harm, quick recovery, & lasting pain impression.

2 - pot bellies : perfect for the mid-drift dress code of today's youth.

You simply spank them on the belly.

3 - hair pulling

4 - food deprivation : loss of kitchen privs

5 - sleep deprivation : loss of late sleep on weekends

 

My personal favorite is #1. It's quick, effective, & usually gets the job done. I wonder if I could get someone to fund a scientific study for me

[TheBigHurt35]

No doubt my parents use to whip the s*** out of me when I was out of line. Now a days you can't touch your kid without someone wanting to call the cops on ya. They wonder why kids are friggin out of control.

 

I remember once when I was about eight or nine, I flipped off my dad. My ass was sore for about a week after that. And I never gave the bird to an authority figure again.

[RibbieRubarb]

Neither I or my wife will EVER spank, slap or touch our son in any harmful way.

I don't care how "out-of-control" you think a child is getting there are plenty of alternatives than hitting a child.

 

Trust me, my son has gotten OUT OF CONTROL.

 

And if anyone else spanks my child, well...

Thats when hitting does come into play

[EvilJester99]

There is a huge difference between spanking and abusing your child. To each their own though on how you punish or don't for that matter.

[RibbieRubarb]

There is a huge difference between spanking and abusing your child. To each their own though on how you punish or don't for that matter.

 

I don't see a difference.

[flippedoutpunk]

Boy.. things sure have changed from when I was a kid.

 

^yeah that^ my dad used to absolutely whip the crap outta me when i was a kid and i came out allright *twitch**twitch* my sister on the other hand never got whupped and shes the one that turned out to be a snobby little brat with no respect for her elders

 

Edit: Quoted the wrong person woops!

Edited March 9, 2005 by flippedoutpunk

[Steff]

I don't see a difference.

 

 

A slap on the hand or butt for playing with a lighter is a far stretch from swatting at will for a child intentionally spilling their glass of milk. That was an exact situation that happened with my neice. She got a time out for spilling the milk.. she spilled the milk again the next night at dinner.. but has yet to touch another lighter..

[LowerCaseRepublican]

After being in Texas and witnessing my cousin beating the s*** out of his toddler son (cracked a wood spoon -- the long handle part -- over the kid's ass), I'm not a big fan of corporal punishment as a means to punish a kid.

 

Of course I told that to my cousin who said "Spare the rod, spoil the child". He almost kicked me out when I said "Yeah, but show me where it says 'Break it over his ass'." And even more about the rod comment from the Bible, the shepherd's rod has a crook on the end to pull the sheep back in gently rather than beating the f*** out of them with the stick.

[JUGGERNAUT]

Neither I or my wife will EVER spank, slap or touch our son in any harmful way.

I don't care how "out-of-control" you think a child is getting there are plenty of alternatives than hitting a child.

 

Trust me, my son has gotten OUT OF CONTROL. 

 

And if anyone else spanks my child, well...

Thats when hitting does come into play

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Getting "out of control" is not what warrants a physical consequence.

Disrespect, defiance, & refusal to respect grounding or timeouts are.

 

There are kids in this world who will respect nothing else than fear of physical consequence. As a parent you try to exhaust all other paths before taking that one but sometimes it's unavoidable. Horse bites are perfect for this action. They are quick, inspire immediate fear of consequence in the child, are in no way associated with anything perverted or sexual in nature, & most importantly short lived. Minutes letter there is no sign of it having ever happened.

[hammerhead johnson]

Horse bites are perfect for this action.

 

I tried to do an online search to find out about "Horse Bites", and I couldn't come up with jack.

 

I found this gem, however. I just figured that I'd share.

 

Horny Horse Bites Man To Death

[flippedoutpunk]

I tried to do an online search to find out about "Horse Bites", and I couldn't come up with jack.

 

I found this gem, however.  I just figured that I'd share.

 

Horny Horse Bites Man To Death

[JUGGERNAUT]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Horse...G=Google+Search

Basically you pull the skin up & twist it. It's a pinch without nails which is why it shouldn't leave any marks. Much better pain response than a spanking. Try it on yourself

 

Interesting to see it mentioned with martial arts. Never thought about in terms of self defense but I guess it could work.

[GASHWOUND]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Horse...G=Google+Search

Basically you pull the skin up & twist it.  It's a pinch without nails which is why it shouldn't leave any marks. Much better pain response than a spanking. Try it on yourself

 

Interesting to see it mentioned with martial arts.  Never thought about in terms of self defense but I guess it could work.

 

I saw a lady who wrote a book about instead of spanking you put hot sauce on the kids tongue for a while to punish him...Hell, I got whipped and I turned out just fine

I only resent my parents half the time

[hammerhead johnson]

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Horse...G=Google+Search

Basically you pull the skin up & twist it.  It's a pinch without nails which is why it shouldn't leave any marks. Much better pain response than a spanking. Try it on yourself

 

Interesting to see it mentioned with martial arts.  Never thought about in terms of self defense but I guess it could work.

 

My mom used to pinch the s*** out of me when I was a kid. I'd always have bruises on my arms.

[EvilJester99]

Hell I was mad at my mom and I called her a b**** and my dad came in the room and slapped my half way across the room....needless to say I never even thought to call her that again...extreme maybe but damn effective.

Edited March 10, 2005 by EvilJester99

[Goldmember]

Hell I was made at my mom and I called her a b**** and my dad came in the room and slapped my half way across the room....needless to say I never even thought to call her that again...extreme maybe but damn effective.

 

i made that mistake sitting next to my mama in a car as a young teen. she made a fist and b****slapped me. then when my nose was busted up and profusely bleeding made me get out of the car in front of a lil country store in a tiny town near where we lived and clean myself up with tissues so i wouldn't get blood all over her car. then i had to go home and face my dad...

 

lesson learned.

[YASNY]

i made that mistake sitting next to my mama in a car as a young teen. she made a fist and b****slapped me. then when my nose was busted up and profusely bleeding made me get out of the car in front of a lil country store in a tiny town near where we lived and clean myself up with tissues so i wouldn't get blood all over her car. then i had to go home and face my dad...

 

lesson learned.

 

I'm sure. Sometimes, you have to get a kid's attention.