Gene Honda Civic Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 (edited) the b**** I kid because I care Edited March 10, 2005 by Texsox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 LMAO .... all I can say is ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippedoutpunk Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasywheels121 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 (edited) The Cheat.... Guess it wasn't you, but still damn good. Edited March 10, 2005 by greasywheels121 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Honda Civic Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 I should note this wasn't me... It's just that I was sure that it wasn't original to the site that I found it at, so I just copied and pasted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFanForever Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Hahahah. Completely hilarious...wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Hey Wino, does this describe any of your relationships? Or is it just us breeders that have to deal with this?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonkeyKongerko Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 It's only slightly less funny because it wasn't you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Very funny stuff! As for exploring the differences in the sex drives of males and females, I actually did note on another thread this week (the necrophilic gay goose thread) that it comes down to one simple fact of nature: SPERM IS CHEAP! Or, to borrow from the old Jay Leno Dorito's ads: Hump All You Want - We'll Make More! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Oldie but a goody. Kinda reminds me of Chappele's bit about the way some women dress when they go out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shagar69 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 its stuff like this makes me happy that im in college and can hook up with some random ass chick and then never have to see her again or do any thing with her ever again, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Ha, that's awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamTell Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 lol I like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DBAHO Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 QUOTE(shagar69 @ Mar 11, 2005 -> 08:57 AM) its stuff like this makes me happy that im in college and can hook up with some random ass chick and then never have to see her again or do any thing with her ever again, lol. What happens when you get out of college? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 Greatest story ever Cheat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.