Queen Prawn Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Mar 17, 2005 -> 12:14 PM) "Lifes a piece of s***...when you look at it" Life of Brian...Monty Python. I catch myself singing that quite often and then when I think of the visual with it, I almost fall over laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 "Can't you just stay... for just a little while?....I need some beauty in my life." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 King Arthur fighting the Black Knight Black Knight: I'm invincible!!!! King Arthur: You're a Looney! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 I fart in your general direction! What...is your favorite color? Blue...no! Red! AAaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! She turned me into a newt! A newt? Well, I got better. BURN HER!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 "What are you going to do today Napoleon?" "Whatever I fell like jeez!" "Hey Napoleon, gimmie some tots" "No way, get your own tots" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 I'm also going to have to do this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 Frenchman talking to King Arthur: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of Elderberries...now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nokona Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Captain Koons: Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully... you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talkin' right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Butch. I got somethin' for you. [sits down and pulls a gold wrist watch from his pocket] Captain Koons: This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up till then people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by private Doughboy Erine Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather's war watch and he wore it everyday he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed - along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. [holds it up, long pause] Captain Koons: This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. -- (explicit) Jimmie Dimmick: I don't need you to tell me how f***ing good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys s***. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanjt to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead n***** in my garage. Jules Winnfield: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that... Jimmie Dimmick: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead n***** Storage?" Jules Winnfield: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no... Jimmie Dimmick: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead n***** Storage?" Jules Winnfield: [pause] No. I didn't. Jimmie Dimmick: You know WHY you didn't see that sign? Jules Winnfield: Why? Jimmie Dimmick: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead n*****s ain't my f***ing business, that's why! -- ENGLISH MOTHERf***ER! DO YOU SPEAK IT? Pulp Fiction -- "Suck me Beautiful" Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son. Jim: Thanks, Dad. Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream. -- Samuel: Still hung over? Tristan: Still drunk! Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, but they become legends" I thought Tristan would never live to be an old man. I was wrong about that. I was wrong about many things. It was those who loved him the most that died young. He was a rock they broke themselves against however much he tried to protect them. Every hunter hopes that a good death finds him. -Legends of the Fall wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? My God. I haven't been f***ed like that since grade school With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f***ing khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator: You wouldn't believe. Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for? Narrator: A major one. After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down. [Gets up from the chair] Narrator: [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you. just a few from Fight Club Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3E8 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 "You belong to me now." -To Live And Die In L.A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 "Don't call me stupid." - Fish Called Wanda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Oh hell! ... I can't remember the name of the movie, but Danny Devito answers the phone with this classic: "No, Debbie can't come to the phone right now. She has my dick in her mouth." Hangs up and says "I love wrong numbers." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 QUOTE(YASNY @ Mar 18, 2005 -> 03:27 PM) Oh hell! ... I can't remember the name of the movie, but Danny Devito answers the phone with this classic: "No, Debbie can't come to the phone right now. She has my dick in her mouth." Hangs up and says "I love wrong numbers." is it "Ruthless People"??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Mar 18, 2005 -> 10:42 AM) is it "Ruthless People"??? You know, I think you've got it. I wouldn't bet the ranch on it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammerhead johnson Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Chevy Chase lines from Caddy Shack: "As the Zen philosopher Basho once said: a flute with no holes is not a flute. And a donut with no hole, is a danish. Funny guy!" "You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia." "We got a pool, and a pond, the pond would be good for you" Judge Smails: What'd you shoot today? Chevy Chase: I don't keep score Judge Smails: Well, How do you measure yourself with other golfers? Chevy Chase: By height. Chevy Chase: Do you do drugs, Danny? Danny: Every day Chevy Chase: Good. So what seems to be the problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinnesotaSoxFan Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Willie Mays Hayes: Vaughn, get the stewardess. I need one of those bags. Rick Vaughn: There aren't any stewardesses. Willie Mays Hayes: I wonder if they are any pilots. Harry Doyle: That's all we got, one goddamn hit? Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air. Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway. Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come. Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff. Jake Taylor: Harris. Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball. Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Will Smith in I Robot. *Smith sneezes* "I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to bulls***." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pauly8509CWS Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Almost forgot about this one, but before our championship hockey game tonite my team watched the scene from Any Given Sunday You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the f***ing difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life any more it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team gentlemen, and either, we heal as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now what are you gonna do? I know its long but it is one of my favorite inspirational movie speeches ever... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted March 19, 2005 Author Share Posted March 19, 2005 (edited) "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!" You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together - and blow He-e-e-e-re's Johnnie! You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let's face it......It was you, Charley A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti I love the smell of napalm in the morning...smells like...victory Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you? What do you mean, I'm funny?...You mean the way I talk? What?...Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it?...But I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f--kin' amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How'm I funny??...How the f--k am I funny? What the f--k is so funny about me? Tell me? Tell me what's funny!... Edited March 19, 2005 by Texsox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiff Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 "What's a f***ass?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldmember Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 It's not that I'm lazy; it's that I just don't care. ....................... She's gone! Oh my God! She used me. I was used...I was used! Cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capn12 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Nice thread, dunno how I didnt catch this one earlier.. National Lampoon's Vacation: Clark: I think you're all f***ed in the head. We're ten hours from the f***ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f***ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy s***! ------ Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man? Cousin Dale: No. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders? Cousin Dale: Nope. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids? Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days. ------ Rounders, my favorite movie: Teddy KGB: It hurts doesn't it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet. And your fate is sitting right besides you. Teddy KGB: That ace could not have helped you! Mike McDermott: [laughs] You're right Teddy, the ace didn't help. [pushes chips towards the center and flops down his cards] Mike McDermott: I flopped a nut straight. Teddy KGB: Mother f***ER!! Mother f***ER!! All night long, check, check, check..he trick me!! Mike McDermott: You feelin' satisfied now Teddy? Cause I can go on busting you up all night. ----- Mike McDermott: Just walking back into this place makes me queasy. The brick walls, teh f***ing mopes. I feel like Buckner walking back into Shea. ----- Mike McDermott: Listen, if you can't spot the sucker at the table in your first half hour at the table then you ARE the sucker. ----- Teddy KGB: Just like a young man coming in for a quickie! I feel, so unsatisfied. ----- Teddy KGB: I'm still up 20 Grand, from this last time...I stick it in you!! Man I love that movie, could go on with quotes for hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 One of my favorites from National Lampoons Christmas Vacation... "Merry Christmas, the s***ters full!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 "That's a hell of a thing." - Galaxy Quest "Doog, where's my car?" -Harold And Kumar "I'm losing wood back here!" - Harold And Kumar (spoken by Neil Patrick Harris which adds to the great line factor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Do not go in there! WOOOOO! -Ace Ventura It's not really a quote, more of a scene, but in 'Liar Liar' when he first tries to explain his case to the opposing lawyer. Mostly incomprehensible babbling but still hilarious. "I'm kicking my ass, do you mind!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBlackSox8 Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Johnny Mnemonic: What the f*** is going on? WHAT THE f*** IS GOING ON? You know, all my life, I've been careful to stay in my own corner. Looking out for Number One... no complications. Now, suddenly, I'm responsible for the *entire f***ing world*, and everybody and his mother is trying to kill me, IF... IF... my head doesn't blow up first. Jane: Maybe it's not just about you any more. Johnny Mnemonic: Listen. You listen to me. You see that city over there? THAT'S where I'm supposed to be. Not down here with the dogs, and the garbage, and the f***ing last month's newspapers blowing *back* and *forth*. I've had it with them, I've had it with you, I've had it with ALL THIS - *I want ROOM SERVICE*! I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want a $10,000-a-night hooker! I want my shirts laundered... like they do... at the Imperial Hotel... in Tokyo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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