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John Winger: Come on, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia, it's like going into Wisconsin.

Russell Ziskey: Well, I got the s*** kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it.

Edited by Gene Honda Civic
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QUOTE(silver and black @ Mar 18, 2005 -> 01:21 PM)
Willie Mays Hayes: Vaughn, get the stewardess. I need one of those bags.

Rick Vaughn: There aren't any stewardesses.

Willie Mays Hayes: I wonder if they are any pilots.

 

Harry Doyle: That's all we got, one goddamn hit?

Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.

Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.

 

Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.

Jake Taylor: Harris.

Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.

Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

 

You may run like Mays, but you hit like s***!

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QUOTE(ChiSoxyGirl @ Mar 22, 2005 -> 12:03 PM)
If you're gonna spew, spew into this.

 

"She makes me feel kinda funny. Like when we used to climb the rope in gym class."

 

"I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?"

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OH I have more.

 

Extreme Sports Punk #1: Dude, on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not so extreme and 10 being extremely extreme, I give this a 9.5!

 

Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: Come on, dude. Just take one hit. Don't you wanna be cool?

'I'm So High' Kid: [takes drag of joint, makes a womanly cough sound]

Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: Hey, man, what are you doin'?

'I'm So High' Kid: I'm so high!

[laughs]

'I'm So High' Kid: Nothing can hurt me.

[puts pump-action rifle in mouth and pulls trigger]

Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: Nooo!

 

"I'm tripping balls here man"

 

--Harold and Kumar

 

 

Kenny Davis: No. NO. NO! Devil man! Devil 6-6-6, the mark of the beast! No! Naughty! Naughty jungle of love!

 

Cocaine Addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana? (Bob Saget said this hahahahah)

 

Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged b**** of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.

Thurgood Jenkins: You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

 

"You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy s***, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO. "

 

"So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it. "

--Half Baked

 

Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

 

Cartman: Don't call me fat, you f***ing Jew!

Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?

Cartman: Jew?

Kyle: No, he's talking about "f***". You can't say "f***" in school, you f***ing fat ass!

Mr. Garrison: Kyle!

Cartman: Why the f*** not?

Mr. Garrison: Eric!

Stan: Dude, you just said "f***" again!

Mr. Garrison: Stanley!

Kenny: f***!

Cartman: Kenny!

Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. f***-f***ety-f***-f***-f***.

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?

Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?

Mr. Garrison: What did you say?

Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...

[picks up a megaphone]

Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?

 

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?

General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

 

Dr. Doctor: We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.

 

The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?

 

Gregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average.

Cartman: You're a f***ing f*****, dude.

 

The Mole: Now, did you bring the mirror?

Stan: Check!

The Mole: Did you bring the rope?

Stan: Check!

The Mole: Did you bring the buttfor?

Stan: What's a buttfor?

The Mole: For pooping, silly.

 

The Mole: What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur's f***ing pussy?

 

Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.

The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.

Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.

Stan: Why are you grounded?

The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.

--South Park the movie

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from one of my fav comedies, out cold :headbang :

 

Luke: No regrets, that's my motto. Well... that and everyone Wang Chung tonight.

 

------------------

 

Luke: This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery.

 

-----------------

 

Pigpen: Here's what I don't get, alright, is you met this chick and you got freaky-deaky with her and then poof. She disappears. How's there a problem with that?

 

----------------

 

Luke: Well, yeah it dosen't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer.

 

---------------

 

Barry: So, uh, who's the "jaccuzi casanova?"

Stumpy: [pointing at Luke] That's him right there

Luke: Thanks Stumpy

Stumpy: Yeah, they call him that because he had himself all up in it, lovin' it strong.

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"Its 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, its dark and we're wearing sunglasses"

 

The Blues Brothers

 

 

 

"What do I want you to do?!? I want you to kill the cock sucker! I want you to stuff his arms up his ass thats what I f***ing want!!!"

 

Jack Nicholson in "Hoffa"

Edited by NUKE_CLEVELAND
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QUOTE(Goldmember @ Mar 24, 2005 -> 04:59 AM)
I leave this as a declaration of intent so no one will be confused. One: sic vis pacem para bellum. The boot-camp sergeant made us recite it like a prayer. Sic vis pacem para bellum. If you want peace, prepare for war.

 

- The Punisher

Great quote. I really enjoyed that movie quite a bit.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Army of Darkness: Bruce Campbell as Ash

"See this? *This* is my *boom stick*! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. *You got that*?"

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"Ah AH!" "I know what your thinking......did he fire 6 shots or only 5. I kinda lost track myself in all this excitement.....But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, it would blow your head clean off. You've got to ask yourself one question "Do I feel lucky?". Well do ya PUNK!!!"

 

"You may be the one with the rope around your neck but I do the cutting. If we cut down my percentage........its liable to affect my aim."

 

 

From Dirty Harry and The Good the Bad and the Ugly respectively.

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Snatch

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey f***** balls.

Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey f***** balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... f*** off.

Edited by TheBlackSox8
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QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 1, 2005 -> 11:48 AM)
That movie "Snatch" was awesome....

Yes.....yes it was....watching the "burned" version right now.. :D

 

Avi: Eighty-six carats.

Rosebud: Where?

Avi: London.

Rosebud: London?

Avi: London.

Gemologist: London?

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f***ing Poppins... LONDON.

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Snatch i so classic, how could I forget.

 

"Sit down and shut up you big, bald f***".

'Now I don't like leaving my own country and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than sunny, warm beaches and cocktails with little umbrellas in them'

'C'mon Avi, we have beaches here.'

'Yeah? Well who the hell wants to see em'.

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More Snatch:

Tyrone: I didn't see it.

Vinny: It's a two f***ing ton van Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of f***ing peanuts now is it?

Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.

Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. When you reverse, things come at you from behind.

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QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Apr 1, 2005 -> 12:01 PM)
Snatch i so classic, how could I forget.

 

"Sit down and shut up you big, bald f***".

'Now I don't like leaving my own country and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than sunny, warm beaches and cocktails with little umbrellas in them'

'C'mon Avi, we have beaches here.'

'Yeah?  Well who the hell wants to see em'.

Yeah...watching it right now and just passed that part... :lolhitting

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