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Comedian Mitch Hedberg Dead


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Mitch was rediculously witty.

 

"When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers the'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That'sa double whammy! We need help! Bush search aparty of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes."

 

"I brought  a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the senerio where I would have to prove that I broughrt  a donut. Some skeptical friend.  Don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here."

 

"I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous  for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at  10 and say, hey I was here at  3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology."

 

"Alocholism, is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, your an alcoholic. Dammit Otto, you have Lupis. One of those two doesn't sound right."

 

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long."

 

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."
Edited by Kalapse
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QUOTE(robinventura23 @ Mar 31, 2005 -> 02:43 PM)
Heard about this on Howard Stern this morning.  He was recently on the show.  Only 37.  Very sad.  He was very funny. RIP.

 

Yeah, and then Sirius has been running a tribute to him all day, playing all his bits and stuff. He was good. Its a shame.

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I don't think I had ever heard of him before. But I went and have been reading more of his quotes and if his delivery was any good, that guy was a riot! LOL!

 

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow s***.

 

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

 

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load s*** into a truck.

 

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

 

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

 

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

 

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

 

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

 

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

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Wow this ruins my day, you hate to see talented people (or anyone, I suppose) go so young. But the most brilliant ones are always the ones who live closest to the edge.

 

RIP Mitch, you were damn funny.

 

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
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This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.

 

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

 

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

Edited by Soxnbears01
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Did he read his material while on stage? The guy had brilliant stuff, absolutely brilliant, but his delivery was odd. He never looked at the audience and seemed to be reading. Granted, Bob Hope made a heck of a carrer out of doing that. I like him, but his delivery takes a bit to get used to.

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QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Apr 1, 2005 -> 08:07 AM)
Did he read his material while on stage? The guy had brilliant stuff, absolutely brilliant, but his delivery was odd. He never looked at the audience and seemed to be reading. Granted, Bob Hope made a heck of a carrer out of doing that. I like him, but his delivery takes a bit to get used to.

 

his delivery was what made it so damn funny. It was so unique.

Of course, when the joke was bad, he looked REALLY bad.

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