Steff Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right." 4.. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them. 8.. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?" 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it's not that important.. 13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right." Truer words have never been spoken..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rangercal Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 19, 2005 -> 06:29 AM) 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right." Truer words have never been spoken..... The main words in my relationship with my girl are : "how was your day" (then she rambles)so I follow with a bunch of uh huhs, oh really, interesting, Thats nice, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Gleason Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 QUOTE(Steff @ Apr 19, 2005 -> 06:25 AM) Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are. 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind. Some people think it is O.K. to give themselves a haircut at all??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steff Posted April 19, 2005 Author Share Posted April 19, 2005 QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Apr 19, 2005 -> 08:42 AM) Some people think it is O.K. to give themselves a haircut at all??? Flowbee baby!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(rangercal @ Apr 19, 2005 -> 08:02 AM) The main words in my relationship with my girl are : "how was your day" (then she rambles)so I follow with a bunch of uh huhs, oh really, interesting, Thats nice, etc. Be careful. Did you ever see that commercial? Wife: Honey, does this dress make me look fat? Hubby (reading newspaper): You betcha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mplssoxfan Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(YASNY @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 06:36 AM) Be careful. Did you ever see that commercial? Wife: Honey, does this dress make me look fat? Hubby (reading newspaper): You betcha. Why do women insist on asking that question? I mean, you can't really give a correct answer. If you say yes, be prepared to duck. If you say no, you usually get, "You're just saying that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 (edited) QUOTE(Mplssoxfan @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 11:38 AM) Why do women insist on asking that question? I mean, you can't really give a correct answer. If you say yes, be prepared to duck. If you say no, you usually get, "You're just saying that." Its always safer in that situation to either lie or say what she wants to hear.... Edited April 20, 2005 by EvilJester99 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rex Kickass Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 15. A poncho is not a fashion accessory. Please, just wear a shirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 16. Don't drink anything that is on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 05:39 PM) Its always safer in that situation to either lie or say what she wants to hear.... .....or: 'Do these jeans make me look fat?' 'No, honey, it's your big ass that makes you look fat". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 12:22 PM) .....or: 'Do these jeans make me look fat?' 'No, honey, it's your big ass that makes you look fat". LMAO While that would be hilarious, you would have to brace for death or the fact that you'd better sleep with one eye open.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 06:24 PM) LMAO While that would be hilarious, you would have to brace for death or the fact that you'd better sleep with one eye open.... Oh, at that point I'd just run into traffic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Prawn Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 I never ask Brian if I look fat in something unless I am in a bantering mood. I've got eyes and a mirror in our room, why do I need to ask him something that would be readily obvious? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Can someone explain the diff. between looking fat and actually being fat? I think if you're fat, you're fat in everything. Now you might look fat-TER in certain things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 11:39 AM) Its always safer in that situation to either lie or say what she wants to hear.... If men could only figure out what it is that women want to hear... Personally, I like to just stuff a Twix bar in my mouth and mumble incoherently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(Iwritecode @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 12:52 PM) If men could only figure out what it is that women want to hear... Personally, I like to just stuff a Twix bar in my mouth and mumble incoherently. Those commercials are hilarious!! Esp. the one with that chic asking her man if those pants make her look fat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosMediasBlancas Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 QUOTE(EvilJester99 @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 06:53 PM) Those commercials are hilarious!! Esp. the one with that chic asking her man if those pants make her look fat... The funny thing is, in those situations, you BOTH know your bulls***ting her, it's so twisted, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 QUOTE(LosMediasBlancas @ Apr 20, 2005 -> 01:55 PM) The funny thing is, in those situations, you BOTH know your bulls***ting her, it's so twisted, lol. But women want men that are totally honest. :rolly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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