Posnaski

[Gene Honda Civic]

I know you guys like to make fun of his for his rah-rah pieces he writes at the beginning of every year, but he's been great this season. Telling it like it is.

 

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/s...ls/11428843.htm

This lineup is offensive … for fans to watch

 

JOE POSNANSKI

 

A friend walked up a couple of hours before Monday's game and asked, “How do you beat a Kansas City Royals player in a fight?”

 

His answer: Give him a bat.

 

Yes, the jokes started early on Monday. And the jokes continued all night. Yes, it's bad out there for the Royals. How bad? Let's just say that Bobby Vinton had a hit more recently than Emil Brown. Ba-dum-bum! There were three Royals reading a book before Monday's game. The book? You Can't Go Home Again. Cha-ching! Hey is this thing on? What's the best way to get a Royals player out? Pitch to him. Va-voom! Hey, I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitresses!

 

Oh yes, this is one bad offensive baseball team.

 

Everybody understands that the Royals have gone into full-fledged rebuilding mode. Like it or not, this is a fact. They cut their payroll. They brought up some kids. They fully expect to feel the growing pains. The Royals' plan is to struggle along until the young pitchers develop — one of the keys there being to help Zack Greinke remember his lucky necklace — and some of the young hitters emerge and so on.

 

That's the plan, anyway.

 

In the meantime, wow, this is one bad offensive team.

 

The season is only 13 games old, but already there are impossibly lousy numbers to admire, like this one: The Royals have scored fewer runs in the last week (12) than the New York Yankees scored in the second inning on Monday (13).

 

Or how about this one: On this home stand so far, Royals opposing starting pitchers are 6-0 with a 1.95 ERA. In other words, the Royals have turned a collection of pitchers that includes Cliff Lee, Mike Maroth, Aaron Sele and Ryan Franklin into one big Bob Gibson.

 

Here's another statistic: The Royals' designated hitters are hitting .188.

 

That one is worth looking at again. The Royals would be better off having Mario Mendoza as their designated hitter. Seriously, at some point you have to ask: Why even have a designated hitter? Just go ahead and send the pitcher up there. Maybe the Royals could start an American League trend.

 

It's bad. Really bad. Remember when you were in Little League, the coach would always put the best hitter in the cleanup spot? The Royals' cleanup hitters this year have been: Emil Brown, Matt Stairs, Calvin Pickering and Eli Marrero. Not a single one of those guys was an everyday player last year. Two were in the minor leagues.

 

The cleanup quartet is hitting a cool .189 this year.

 

That is better than the designated hitters, however.

 

It's bad. Really bad. Monday, Cleveland starter Cliff Lee had the flu. Apparently, he had it bad. And Lee had not pitched all that well the last year even when he was able to keep down his lunch. You might remember that Lee was something of a phenomenon early last year — he was 9-1 at the All-Star game.

 

After the All-Star Game though, he had a 7.91 ERA. This year, he picked right up and an 8.10 ERA coming into this game.

 

So what happened? On Monday, he was Tom Glavine and Sandy Koufax mixed together. He gave up two hits in seven innings, both of those ground balls that got through. He did not allow a Royals runner past second base, and the three times that the Royals did get a runner to second base, he clamped down, forced weak pop-ups, struck out Angel Berroa and Mike Sweeney, dominated.

 

He utterly overmatched the Royals even though he probably needed an IV in the dugout. After he finished the seventh — a nice, easy inning that finished with a strikeout of Emil Brown — Lee went into the runway and threw up.

 

That's when Cleveland manager Eric Wedge knew to take him out.

 

Against the Royals, you don't keep a pitch count. You keep a vomit count.

 

“They seemed to be getting themselves out,” Lee said after the game.

 

It's bad. Really bad. Emil Brown was the phenom of Royals spring training. Yes, it's true that he is 30, and a lifetime .200 hitter who had almost 3,000 at-bats in the minor leagues. But he looked good in the spring. He worked the count. He hit line drives. He got on base. Good guy, too. He won the starting right field job. He was given the cleanup spot.

 

Spring training, it should be pointed out, doesn't count.

 

Brown is now zero for his last 18. He has hit only three balls out of the infield in that stretch. He has looked so helpless, you want to take him out for ice cream after the game.

 

“I know I'm in a funk,” he said.

 

He's hardly alone. This team has more funk than the late, great, Rick James. John Buck is two for his last 30, and — this is absolutely astonishing — he does not have a single RBI all season. Not one. Doing the math on that, if he gets 500 at bats, at this pace he would end up with, well, zero RBIs.

 

Then, Mike Sweeney in 54 at-bats has scored only twice (once on his own home run), so that sets him up for a nice 22-run season if he can get 600 at-bats.

 

What can you say? What can you do? When the Royals have scored more than three runs in a game, they are undefeated. Unfortunately, they've only managed that trick four times this year. They have scored the fewest runs in the American League. It's early, but if they would manage to keep up this pace, they would score fewer runs than any other team in the league in more than 15 years.

 

“We knew that it would be a challenge to score runs,” Royals general manager Allard Baird says. “But we're not this bad offensively. We're just going through a bad spell here. But we'll work our way out of it.”

 

Baird better hope so. Because the scary part of the Royals is not the numbers, it's the lineup. Monday, the Royals played two guys — two — who had more than 400 at-bats in the major leagues last season (Sweeney and Angel Berroa). This is a lineup right now that's filled with rookies and part-time players.

 

And this team is a no-hitter waiting to happen.

 

The Royals have to stick with the plan. There's really nothing else to do. They have to keep the talented young pitchers — Greinke, Denny Bautista, Runelvys Hernandez, Andrew Sisco, Mike MacDougal and so on — from getting frustrated. Those guys have to develop. They have to grow into a great young pitching staff or else this plan is doomed and a whole new regime will come in with its own plan.

 

But getting those pitchers to grow won't be easy with the Royals putting up one and two runs every night. The Royals have to find a way to score a few runs. Meanwhile the jokes rain down. One friend said that his son loves baseball but he's scared of the fireworks. So he's planning on bringing his son to Royals games. Hey!

 

Another pointed out that the Royals have not been shut out all year, which just proves they can score one run on anybody! Hoo-haw!

 

Another asked this question: “What if this isn't a slump? What is this is just who the Royals are?”

 

Thing is, he didn't mean it as a joke. In fact, he said it quite sadly.

[DonkeyKongerko]

I like the no-hitter idea. Maybe Buehrle or Garland will finally finish the job.

 

It's hard to hate the Royals even when they're semi-good like in '03. They've just become such a pathetic franchise.

[DBAHO]

They kept Emil Brown over a waiver claim of Mike Restrovich. Good choice Mr. Baird.

[Gene Honda Civic]

They kept Emil Brown over a waiver claim of Mike Restrovich. Good choice Mr. Baird. 

It's not like Restovich is doing anything...

 

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6416

[LowerCaseRepublican]

I like the no-hitter idea.  Maybe Buehrle or Garland will finally finish the job.

 

It's hard to hate the Royals even when they're semi-good like in '03.  They've just become such a pathetic franchise.

 

They will win the AL Central! /quits.channeling.Harold.Reynolds

[Nokona]

That was probably the greatest prediction in the world.

 

Thanks Harold for your insightful commentary.

 

And you too DJ!

[DBAHO]

It's not like Restovich is doing anything...

 

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6416

LOL Gene. I get quite jealous looking at the cheap productive outfielders the Rockeis have in Holliday, Restrovich, Hawpe and Mohr. If only they weren't tied down by Helton and Co.

[witesoxfan]

When Joe Borchard would be an offensive boost to your offense, you are bad.

[SoxFanForever]

Heather has a crush on Joe

[soxhawks]

i just glad im not a royals fan, they will never reach the playoffs again if the economics in baseball stay the same