I thought this was funny

[mreye]

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

 

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says

 

"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

 

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

 

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.

 

The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

 

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

 

The big dude says, "I saw the curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

 

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Whew, Thank God! I thought you said "Turn around!"

 

[YASNY]

That's funny.

[EvilJester99]

Here is one I found funny...

 

The Best Tequila Ever!

 

 

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly, out of the bottle comes a Genie.

 

The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."

 

The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila."

 

Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me piss tequila."

 

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it.

 

He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.

 

The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!"

 

She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it.

 

He tells her to drink, it is tequila.? Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted.

 

The two drink and party all night.

 

The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard.

 

He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.

 

Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, "Consuelo grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink tequila."

 

His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.

 

The Mexican begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"

 

Pancho raised the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle!!"

[Yoda]

 

Took me a little while to figure yours out, Jester.

[WilliamTell]

lol both are great.