Cousins Wed....

[aboz56]

Conflicting laws can't keep these cousins from the altar

 

Fredrick Kunkle, Washington Post

 

Sunday, May 1, 2005

 

Altoona , Pa. -- Love comes in at the eye, the poet William Butler Yeats wrote, and so it was for Donald Andrews: One look, and he knew that he was in love, intensely in love.

 

"I just could not stop looking at her," Andrews, 39, recalled, sitting in the late-day shade of a cafe umbrella he set up in the yard of his mobile home. "I just kept thinking: 'I'm going to get her. Someday, I'm going to get her and marry her.' "

 

He also knew, even as a mere lad of 14, that this never would be just any romance, because the object of that rapturous gaze happened to be his cousin Eleanor. And not a distant cousin, located somewhere in the far branches of the family tree. Their mothers were sisters. They knew their attraction -- she had felt it, too -- was taboo, and they kept it more or less a secret. That is, until March, when they decided to marry.

 

Turned away from the courthouse because Pennsylvania law prohibits first- cousin marriages, Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanor Amrhein, 37, crossed into Maryland to wed. Before they could think about a honeymoon, the newlyweds became the butt of jokes on the late-night talk shows.

 

But their marriage also cast a light on conflicting state laws surrounding the practice and on such groups as Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws Through Education, or CUDDLE, and www.cousincouples.com, which cite new research to encourage acceptance of such unions.

 

"In God's eyes, we're all brothers and sisters. You can't tell your heart who to fall in love with," Amrhein said.

 

The incidence of consanguineous marriages has fallen in much of the industrialized world but remains common in some parts of Latin America, the Middle East and Asia. Maryland is one of 20 states that permit it, as does the District of Columbia. (Six more allow such marriages only under certain conditions.)

 

In general, studies bear out the taboo's wisdom, suggesting that marriages between people related by blood -- known as consanguinity -- produce a higher risk of genetic disorders in their offspring. It is especially true among closed or isolated communities, such as among some Arab communities in the Middle East, Hindus and others in southern India, Ashkenazi Jews in Eastern Europe and the Amish in North America.

 

Yet a recent study suggested that though the relative risk of birth defects is higher among the offspring of first and second cousins, the absolute risk remains small in societies where inbreeding is rare. The study, published in the Journal of Genetic Counseling in April 2002, found that the risk of birth defects ran about twice as high -- about 6 to 8 percent -- for cousins, compared with about 3 to 4 percent for unrelated couples. In absolute terms, however, that still translated into odds of better than 90 percent that a child will be born without problems, the study found.

 

"And that generally wasn't realized by people. They thought if you marry your cousin, the risk was much, much higher," said Arno Motulsky, a professor of genome sciences at the University of Washington who co-wrote the study.

 

When the study appeared, however, news coverage often emphasized the low risk without noting that such marriages pose less danger because they are rare.

 

"They went completely over the other way and said there's no risk. That's not true," Motulsky said. "Persons should get full counseling, full advice about what they are getting into, what the problems are, and then it should be left to them."

 

For Andrews and Amrhein, childbearing was not an issue: They said they did not plan to have children. They just want to be together.

 

Neither revealed their secret to anyone until about seven years ago. They began to date after her marriage ended in divorce and his longtime relationship broke up.

 

Their families recoiled at the news. When the two began living together, her family disowned her for a time. Friends dredged up Bible passages to scold them.

 

They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and Butt-head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.

 

Andrews collects disability payments from the government. Amrhein works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart.

 

"I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking.

 

She slapped his thigh.

 

"Yeah," she said, eyes rolling.

 

They kid each other a lot and share many interests, such as camping and fishing. They agree to disagree on other things. He smokes Jacks 100's; she prefers Marlboros. He hunts. She loves animals.

 

When she tunes in to shows that have what he calls "that sappy stuff" -- "Friends," say, or "Little House on the Prairie" -- he exits to head to another television. He gushes at the thought of walking into Red Lobster and picking out the plumpest one in the tank.

 

"Eck," she said. And don't ask her about eating groundhog.

 

"It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.

 

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale.

 

"I said, 'Are you prepared to go through the hell we're going to go through?' " he said.

 

Yes, she said, accepting the engagement. But because of a host of concerns, they locked their rings away until March. After a Pennsylvania court clerk refused to grant a marriage license, the couple challenged the refusal in open court, as allowed by law, and lost.

 

So on March 28 -- Amrhein already has to prompt her newlywed to remember the exact date -- they crossed the state line. In a civil ceremony attended by his mother and a niece and nephew, the cousins held hands before a justice of the peace in Calvert County and exchanged vows.

 

"We just wanted to be together," Amrhein said. "We knew what we were going to have to go through. It would be nice if what came out of this is, it would help other people in our situation."

[AngelasDaddy0427]

This is kind of sad....

I don't think cousin's should wed but what do you expect from a trailor park...

[Texsox]

They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and Butt-head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.

 

Andrews collects disability payments from the government. Amrhein works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart.

 

"I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking.

 

She slapped his thigh.

 

"Yeah," she said, eyes rolling.

 

They kid each other a lot and share many interests, such as camping and fishing. They agree to disagree on other things. He smokes Jacks 100's; she prefers Marlboros. He hunts. She loves animals.

 

When she tunes in to shows that have what he calls "that sappy stuff" -- "Friends," say, or "Little House on the Prairie" -- he exits to head to another television. He gushes at the thought of walking into Red Lobster and picking out the plumpest one in the tank.

 

"Eck," she said. And don't ask her about eating groundhog.

 

"It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.

 

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on

 

Wow, who could have guessed any of that?!

[AngelasDaddy0427]

I didn't know there were people like this in PA. Learn something new everyday...

[DBAHO]

They're obviously originally from Shelbyville.

 

"But why would we want to marry our cousins?"

"Because they're so attractive!!!"

[Texsox]

WalMart wedding rings $119

Trailer Home $1439

Packs of smokes $86 a week

8 pets in trailer $287

Disability checks $492 per month

WalMart greeter $1035 per month

Groundhog frying in a pan $1.13

 

Married Cousins - priceless

[WilliamTell]

I did hear once that if cousins have kids there is no unusual effects on the kids or whatever. But still, it's pretty gross.

[Pauly8509CWS]

They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and Butt-head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.

 

LMFAO...

[witesoxfan]

OMG, an inspirtational story like this makes me want to go out and marry MY cousin.

 

Or probably not

[Chisoxrd5]

OMG, an inspirtational story like this makes me want to go out and marry MY cousin.

 

Or probably not

 

So your telling us theres a chance?!?!

Edited May 2, 2005 by Chisoxrd5

[sec159row2]

if she's not good enough for her own family ... she's not good enough for our family... or however that joke goes... something about a hillbilly virgin...

[Steff]

When Jim and I went to get out marriage license.. we were a bit taken aback that it's allowed in most states (to marry past the first). Says so right on the application..

[tonyho7476]

This is too f***ing funny...I'd love to see what they look like....I'm sure they were both beaten severely by the ugly stick.

[EvilJester99]

"If you go to a family reunion to meet women.... you might be a redneck" Jeff Foxworthy

Edited May 2, 2005 by EvilJester99

[CanOfCorn]

I believe it is legal in Illinois IF you either can't or are too old to have children.

 

And to that I say...EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! :puke

[sox4lifeinPA]

I didn't know there were people like this in PA. Learn something new everyday...

 

People from Pennsylvania think they're so cosmopolitan, but I like to remind them everytime I hear a Texas joke that the keystone state is the gap-toothed older brother of Texas. (and indiana is our cousin)

 

 

As for the marriage, If you favor gay rights for marriages then you must stand side by side to this same kind of behavior.

[Steff]

I believe it is legal in Illinois IF you either can't or are too old to have children. 

 

And to that I say...EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! :puke

 

 

You're right.. it's allowed if you are > 50 years old. Weird..

[Soxy]

People from Pennsylvania think they're so cosmopolitan, but I like to remind them everytime I hear a Texas joke that the keystone state is the gap-toothed older brother of Texas. (and indiana is our cousin)

My friend from West Virginia never tires of saying that there is more incest in PA than in WV.

 

Although, PA has a larger population--but I'm not sure if she's talking proportion or straight up numberwise....

[CanOfCorn]

As for the marriage, If you favor gay rights for marriages then you must stand side by side to this same kind of behavior.

 

Why would you say that? You're comparing apples and oranges.

Now, if we were talking about gay cousins that want to marry...then Jerry Springer will have a show!!!!

[Soxy]

Now, if we were talking about gay cousins that want to marry...then Jerry Springer will have a show!!!!

Actually, I think I've seen that show....

[sox4lifeinPA]

Why would you say that?  You're comparing apples and oranges. 

Now, if we were talking about gay cousins that want to marry...then Jerry Springer will have a show!!!!

 

 

Cousins, brothers and sisters for that matter, have every right to marry if the definition of marriage is altered from "man and woman". It's simple logic.

[Cerbaho-WG]

Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale.

 

I think the only way this could get more hickish is if they left the altar in the General Lee blaring Lynyrd Skynyrd while wearing Confederate uniforms.

[Steff]

Cousins, brothers and sisters for that matter, have every right to marry if the definition of marriage is altered from "man and woman".  It's simple logic.

 

 

But brothers and sisters marrying would be incest.. that's a whole nother (

[SleepyWhiteSox]

But brothers and sisters marrying would be incest.. that's a whole nother (

 

Touche...

[Steff]

Touche...

 

 

OK.. to clear this up.. I used the word touche in response to you saying BatGirl was annoying inferring that you might also be considered annoying. It was in jest and meant to be a joke, and not in any way, shape, or form agreeing with you that she was/is annoying - because I think she's a bit funny. I've never used "touche" as an agreeing term... is that how you are using it..?