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Clint Barmes...


bjm676

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Don't mean to make light of the recent injury to Barmes, but I actually remember some of these...

 

Athletes get hurt in a variety of ways. Some get hurt on the playing field. Some get hurt in taxis. Some get hurt in their sleep. The dumbest injuries are often contract violations: skiing accidents, motorcycle accidents, hunting accidents.

And then there's Clint Barmes, the Rockies shortstop who recently saw his promising rookie season derailed when he broke his collarbone while carrying groceries up the stairs in his apartment building.

 

But Barmes can rest easy (or at least as easy as someone with his left arm in a sling can). He didn't make the cut when it comes to the weirdest injuries in sports history.

 

But these guys did.

 

Guys who got burned — by themselves

 

John Smoltz irons his shirt in April of 1990.

Smoltz figured out a nifty way to save time. He ironed his own shirts, while wearing them. This worked out well, until he gave himself burns to his chest and blood stains to the polo shirt he was ironing. Smoltz said at the time, "I couldn't believe it. I've done it five or six times and never had that happen."

 

Marty Cordova gets a suntan in May of 2002.

Orioles outfielder Marty Cordova scorched his face in a tanning salon. He relaxed a little too much on a tanning bed. It's understandable. Ballplayers have way too few day games to work on their tans. In the old days, this never would have happened.

 

Bob Feller scalded in May of 1951.

Just so people don't think modern-day athletes have all the weird injuries, I've included Feller. A hose flew out of Feller's hands and threw scalding water on the lower half of his body. He suffered first and second degree burns on his torso and legs. The hose got away from him as he attempted to fill a whirlpool, to ease the pain of a lower back.

 

Guys who got frostbite — in August

 

Rickey Henderson in August, 1993.

Toronto left fielder Henderson missed three games with frostbite on his left foot following application of an icepack. Rickey, is it 20 minutes on, and three games off?

 

Taxicab confessions

 

Tom Glavine's five-minute cab ride from LaGuardia to Shea, 2004.

Glavine lost his two front upper teeth, and needed stitches for a cut lower lip. He was a passenger in an auto accident, traveling the short distance from Laguardia Airport to Shea Stadium. There is no truth to the rumor he quickly hailed a cab from Shea to catch up with a gopher ball he had thrown to a former Atlanta Braves teammate.

 

Brian Anderson's cab ride from hell, 1998.

They say left-handers have more accidents, but in taxis? Anderson, a career .500 pitcher then with the Diamondbacks, took a 20-minute cab ride to shop on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. He laid his pitching arm across the top of the backseat, and felt stiffness that night at the ballpark. He said the injury was the strangest of his career, forgetting about the time he burned his face with an iron in his hotel room.

 

Of course, the hardest part of baseball is the team picture

 

Cal Ripken's streak gets jeopardized by posing for All-Star team photo, 1996.

At least, when you bat against Randy Johnson, you wear a protective helmet. When the league requires the All-Star team gather round for a photo, there's no protection in sight. Ripken broke his nose at the end of the pregame photo session when White Sox pitcher Roberto Hernandez lost his balance and swung his forearm back, striking Ripken.

 

More wild and wacky injuries:

 

Vince Coleman gets run down by technology, 1985.

In the 1985 League Championship Series, he got rolled up by the automatic tarpaulin machine.

 

Kevin Mitchell injures himself vomiting, 1992.

Mariners outfielder Kevin Mitchell re-injured a muscle on his side while vomiting. When asked why he vomited, Mitchell said, "Sometimes, I just do that."

 

Sammy Sosa injures himself sneezing, 2004.

Sosa sprained a ligament in his back after a violent sneeze last season. It happened while sneezing and bending over in front of his locker. He sneezed to the truth.

 

Glenallen Hill had scary nightmare, 1990.

He spent two weeks on the disabled list due to cuts and scrapes he suffered during a nightmare about spiders. He hurt himself without ever waking during this incident. I heard about this, of course, on the Web.

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Glenallen Hill had scary nightmare, 1990.

He spent two weeks on the disabled list due to cuts and scrapes he suffered during a nightmare about spiders. He hurt himself without ever waking during this incident. I heard about this, of course, on the Web.

 

He fell through his coffeetable after hallucinating that spiders were crawling all over him.

 

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

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"Barmes blames fall on deer meat, not groceries or ATV"

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2081549

DENVER -- Colorado Rockies rookie shortstop Clint Barmes says he was lugging a package of deer meat he got from teammate Todd Helton, and not a bag of groceries, when he fell and broke his collarbone.

 

"I just didn't think it was right to bring Todd Helton into something like this," Barmes said Wednesday, explaining why he gave the different version when he first recounted the strange fall that took him out of action for at least two months.

 

Barmes, who was leading National League rookies in most offensive categories, underwent successful surgery to repair the break in his left collarbone. Team doctors inserted a titanium plate and nine screws to help the bone heal.

 

Helton said he and Barmes had ridden four-wheel all-terrain vehicles at Helton's ranch near Greeley on Sunday after the Rockies beat the Cincinnati Reds 8-6. Helton said the ATV ride had nothing to do with the injury.

 

"I cannot say it strongly enough -- he did not get hurt riding an ATV," Helton said. "I was there. He never left my eyesight the entire time."

 

Helton said he, Barmes and rookie teammate Brad Hawpe were riding about 5 mph.

 

Afterward, he treated them to a dinner that included deer meat, and Barmes liked it so much that Helton gave him a package.

 

Nothing in Barmes' contract, which is just $1,000 above the major league minimum, specifically prohibits him from riding an ATV.

 

Rockies general manager Dan O'Dowd said he doesn't doubt Barmes' explanation that it was a fall, and not the ATV ride, that caused the injury.

 

"This is one of the greatest-character kids we've ever had come through this organization," O'Dowd said. "I have no reason to doubt him. It's an unfortunate injury for both him and for us, but he'll get through this."

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